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Dear Maurice,

I would appreciate your advice. I am 22, an ‘A’ student and currently still studying as I figure out what I want to do with my life. But my relationship is entirely another matter! I have always liked dating an older girl, my previous girlfriend was 21 and I was 16 . Three years ago I met a woman who is 48 and we have dated ever since. She was married once but divorced 6 years ago. We live together and have done for just over 2 years. My problem is that she is overly possessive, she dislikes my pals and hates me around girls my own age. I do not think I can live under her conditions. How can I make her less stressing?

Maurice asks,

Very interesting dynamic, question, how did you meet? And what keeps you together and thirdly what led you to live with her, what do your parents think?

He replies,

We met at a party, my older brother took me to some party and one thing led to another. She at first gave me a hard time, the whole ‘am too young’ vibe but I persisted and by some luck I got to fuck her. That is when things changed. She began to pursue me ‘guns blazing’, texts every day of how much she missed my dick blah blah blah. It felt good to be told how my dick was much bigger than her ex husband and that I lasted longer than she ever thought possible. She says am cute, and I am equally attracted to her, she has massive boobs and she puts many girls my age to shame. Maurice this woman is FINE. On finding out I was dating an older woman my mum threw me out. Dad had an issue but he did not give me the ultimatums that caused me to leave home. He pays for my education.

Maurice asks,

Do you have much in common in regards to conversation?

He replies,

I believe we do. She has always told me how mature I am but she just hates my other social circle.

Maurice replies,

Let us make one thing clear, my job is not to judge but to give you a practical analysis of your predicament and on that note I must speculate that she caters for you 100% under her roof. She basically caters for your everything is that correct?

He replies,

Yes she does.

Maurice replies,

If you do not mind sharing, can you tell me what she has done for you in way of investment?

He replies,

When we met one of the first things she did was to change my wardrobe and she has consistently kept me fashionable. In May last year she bought me a BMW and it is in my name. The list is endless, she is generous.

Maurice replies,

I hear you, but now my good man, you need to understand the lifestyle dynamic you live in comes with conditions. There is a reason men decline being kept by a woman. Some men have at some point in their life come across a woman who had the financial capacity to willingly take care of them as a trade off for something she craved but those men weighed their options, and though tempting they opted not to subscribe to living conditions that would only be short lived. If you are living under her roof, living off her money then you must abide by her rules or walk away. This is a grown woman with a somewhat set mind mould, there is no changing her perception on how you should behave within her space.

I am curious, when did your problems with her begin?

He replies,

Last year she followed me out of town and caught me red handed with another girl. She really embarrassed me in front of my friends. On the spot, she asked me to make a choice between her and my friends. She gave me 10 minutes as she walked towards her car. I  grabbed my stuff and we left in a convoy. It was a Friday night, it was in Naivasha. We did not even drive home, I followed her into some resort and we spent the weekend there. I thought we were done but clearly she had other plans. I remember she told me as we were fucking that if she ever catches me again we are done. I have been a good boy ever since.

Maurice replies,

I don’t envy you, you have had a taste of good living for the last 3 years. The question is simple, if you want freedom will you muster the will to walk away? It’s a similar choice that young women make when dating much older men. The good life is lustful, its succulent in so many ways, am sure it avails the sexual prowess conditions that keep you shafting her the way you do. My good man, you have a choice to make!

My advice to you, from one man to another. You need to concentrate on your studies and achieve those ultimate grades to secure and steer your own future. She could drop you tomorrow and then what!!!! Make sure she is not your only focus. As for your relationship, keep giving her what she likes (better you than men much older who will fail her between the sheets). In my book every woman deserve a tasty cookie (ok maybe not all). I believe you get my drift. Thank you for sharing your story. I am relieved to know that there is a younger generation of men that represent sexual alphas, I was getting worried!

He replies,

I see your point. Thank you Sir.

Dear Maurice,

I am struggling in my marriage and I need your advice.

Maurice asks,

What seems to be the problem?

She replies,

Looking back now, I used to date a certain type of guy, the bad boy variety and I rather enjoyed it until I felt it was time to get married. I met my current husband 3 years ago and decided to disconnect with all other men that were in and out of my life. It was time for some stability and I wanted a focused man who I can share life with. I can say that I was blessed with that man who caters for all my needs as his wife but I am bored. He is overly good to me and too predicable for life. He has friends but it is like they avoid him or something. I don’t think he has social skills.

Maurice replies,

Please expound on his lack of social skills.

She replies,

He tries to blend in with general talk but before you know it, his discussions always linger around politics and his line of work, he is a know it all lawyer, which can be quite annoying. He must be centre of attention and he loves to discredit our people’s views. Maurice, even when we go out of town to have fun, he wonders why I cannot get wet with the same discussions as other people with us (couples) are trying to set the mood with light hearted talk.

Maurice replies,

Based on what you have shared, you have your answer to why his friends tend to avoid him. My question is, how can I help you?

She replies,

Like I said, I am bored. Our sex life is extremely bad. With all his big talk, his game is pathetic. He is usually done in minutes and likes to praise his performance which is non existent. I have never had an orgasm by him. I masturbate when he falls asleep, that has been the norm for 4 years. Is it normal for a man never to ask if you have cum? In our 4 years together he has been consistent. He just pumps away and ejaculates then straight to sleep. He has never asked about my orgasm. In some weird way I think he believes he is very good, it is perplexing to say the least.

Maurice replies,

Remind me of why you married him?

She replies,

If you had asked me this question 3 years ago the answer would have been motivated by his financial capacity and his ability to treat me well away from the bedroom. I think or should I say I know I fell in love with the comforts he could offer. He is a generous man who has taken care of me and my parents like you would never believe but at this juncture of my womanhood I need what I used to call ‘good dick’. I know what is out there, because I have had a taste but I know once I venture out it will be the end of my marriage. Unlike some of my girlfriends I do not know how to balance marriage and my sex life separately. They must come as a package. Can I send him to you, for you to teach him how to be more sexually aggressive, and while you are at it, you can kill the romance within him, it is too much and honestly sometimes its like dating a 16 year old who is trying too hard to please. I know you think I am odd or I don’t appreciate my husband but that is how I feel, I can’t help it.

Maurice replies,

It is not my job to judge you. My job is clear, to assess the potential variables and give you my honest opinion on way forward. If I were to ever have a session with your husband, he would have to want to meet me so I can profile him and hear his side of the story. I cannot change his character trait. I can only guide him with information that can improve your sexual life. But for all the above to happen, he must be willing to accept there is a problem in your marriage. That would be the basis of us having the initial session to determine the future and what can be accomplished through his input.

She replies,

If you can work your magic and turn him into the sexual man I need him to be I would be so grateful. I keep thinking about a married guy I used to have casual sex with and that really turns me on. I made the mistake of calling him and his voice just ignited memories of his vigor. He almost convinced me to rekindle our escapades but with both of us being married that would complicate my life, not mentioning the addiction I would fall into. That is why I decided to seek your help.

Maurice replies,

Like I said, for us to move forward, I need to have a session with your husband. Once we are all on the same page, I can work out a program for you to follow and I would also recommend we have a couples session which is fun and full of sexual education that will open both your minds to new beginnings. We can only achieve your desired results if the process is mutual between you and your husband. What you are selling to your husband is ‘its time to revamp your sex life to make it better’. Please note, you are not telling him that he is disastrous in bed, that strategy will not work and will be detrimental to your marriage.

She replies,

Okay Maurice. I will talk to him and hopefully he will accept to see you. Is it advisable for me to share with him some of your sexual articles?

Maurice replies,

Well, considering this is a new journey for the both of you. It is perfectly alright to share sexual information that will aid in your path of discovery. I will send you some relevant articles for you to enjoy together, it will also be a good way to find out how open your husband can be to sexual knowledge.

She replies,

I really hope this works out because I cannot see myself having babies and a future with a man who cannot satisfy me. Thank you for your time.

OPEN SESSION

I will be having an afternoon open session on Saturday 4th February 2017. Venue: Kilimani, from 3pm to 5:30pm.  The session will feature a discussion on relationship dynamics and sexual matters. The session will also showcase a squirting demonstration and how to give good oral sex. There will be a Q&A segment.  Fee 3k per person. For interested parties, please book your slot with a payment of 1.5k. Call for more details 0720229351.

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Hi readers,

Just the other week, I had the pleasure of having a one on one session with a delightful woman who was also a superb host. Like with all my sessions, we broke the ice with stimulating conversation that more or less covered all manner of social dynamics that define relationships today. We touched on the fact that matrimony has evolved but not for the better. In relation to men out there, I pointed out that all men will never be equal financially and unfortunately in most cases depending on social circles a man is not defined by his character but by his wallet. As we sipped our wine, setting the mood for what was to come later that night, I asked her the following questions.

1) What is your view on today’s marriage?

Today’s marriage is largely based on what either party has to offer unlike the traditional values of love, trust and loyalty. Women have been conditioned to be children bearers and hence they feel their spouses must in part compensate then for this responsibility. If I must bear you children, then you have to make the effort to ensure I am well taken care of, I drive a decent car, have a monthly allowance and live in a suburb that will not make my friends cringe when I give them directions to my home. Let’s call a spade a spade. Marriage has become a convenience. Examples: For the perks of work, that single man/woman who can’t get a promotion due to his marital status. 2) That son who has been unduly pressured by family and /or friends 3) By reason of age/science standards.

2) What about the guy who earns 100k and is finding it hard to keep up with the demand of women. Who will marry him?

Woe unto the guy who is earning 100k and is dating from the pool of women who are earning more than he is. (Seeing as they are more sane compared to the “honey I need 5k for my rent kind of girls”). Not to say that he is written off, but let’s face it, the kind of standards the woman he wants has, he can’t afford to keep up with.

3) So in your opinion the woman who is not accustomed to the Wilson airport charter a flight lifestyle will most likely stray/cheat on her ‘good caring man’ who in the pecking order of men is socially and financially inferior?

Absolutely!! Sorry to sound selfish but every woman wants to be spoiled silly and enjoy the finer things in life. Trust me, if she could get away with it without her “loving man” knowing,  it’s a go!

4) What is your opinion on the young women who want to start life with a self made man and not the ‘servant’s quarter’ aka SQ guy who in 10 years could be the self made man but with the push of a woman?

As a woman who has done that before, I’d say this would be largely an individual choice. Ideally, it should be the way to go, but also there’s the off chance of having the man, once “getting to the top”  flipping the card on the woman who helped him achieve success and going for a more “corporate & refined ” woman.

5)What’s your opinion on the ‘sponsor’, should women endorse such titles without  considering their man could be the sponsor?

Sponsor. Allow me to laugh. This is a word coined by lazy, spoilt women who have no ambition and solely rely on a man for a season of luxury living in exchange for sex. This same women have no voice because they are totally dependent on the so called sponsors to fund their every need.
Mature, adult women who work hard to make a living do not need to have a sponsor in order to live in luxury. They have the choice of funding their own luxury lifestyle or picking from men who want to, and can afford to treat them to the finer things of life. They, have a choice in how they are treated and will not hesitate to discard a man who remotely seems to want to ‘misbehave’.

6)The Instagram culture where young women dominate, what’s your view on the social impact?

It saddens me to see how the social world defines a young woman. Unless she is half naked, partying endlessly, wearing the latest designer garb, she’s looked upon as “the chick that’s not with it”.
Parents should raise their young women to applaud and take pride in their identity, regardless of the social trends. These trends are temporary and as such shouldn’t be taken seriously. The need to instill virtue and originality has never been more crucial as it is now.

And there you have it. A woman’s view on the social dynamics and trends that mold much of our society today. When a single woman is seeking out a potential partner it is alarming that knowledge of his character is not top of her list and yet this is a character she may have to live with day in day out. With questions like; what does he drive, what does he do and how much money does he make being on the top of her list then its no wonder the criteria ends up not favouring the woman and yet the man ‘the beast’ she married is providing all her luxuries and comforts but later after the dust has settled she realises that even though she is the kind of woman who would rather cry in a Range Rover than be happy on a scooter, that Range Rover is hardly seen on their driveway, why, because her man ‘the beast’ aka husband is busy showcasing another woman in the Range Rover. Please note, she has never cried in the Range Rover but some other woman is experiencing orgasmic spasms in the back seat. The same seat where the children sit. I know, not the best of visuals right! But facts are facts despite people pretending these dynamics don’t occur.

Ladies, ladies, ladies…. some of you may hate to hear the truth but if you ask women who have been through the trials of relationships that went from rosy to sour. They will tell you that ‘yes’ money is great, riches and wealth are everyone’s goal but at what cost. Do not go out there in search of a ‘rich guy’ or as others put it, a guy with cheddar. Why, in most cases he will belong to some other woman, and perhaps you don’t care, after all women are their own worst enemies. Women have upgraded ‘back stabbing’. But ‘wait’, the man in question ‘the sponsor’ could be your Dad or boyfriend or husband. DO NOT endorse a societal title like ‘a sponsor’ and later complain when your man becomes the sponsor. It is just unfortunate that most women will crave the taste of sudden riches, women who never cultivate but love to harvest, only to be dragged through the mud by the self made man who only played the ‘loving card’ for his own benefits knowing at some point your expiry date would come.