Dear Maurice,
I am 32, very married and in need of your help. My husband and I met 12 years when I was a care free wild girl but naive in matters sexual. We courted, fell in love and got married when I was 23. He was the love of my life (I shall explain why I said ‘was’), my everything. He dominated every inch of my life and progression of my career. Without him I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. In many ways he tamed me and molded me into the successful woman I am but something happened that turn my World over.
Maurice asks,
What happened?
She replies,
I fell in love with a man’s ability opposed to just falling in love. In March, I traveled to Dubai and met this charming man who seemed very innocent and gentle but little did I know that within him lingered a sexual beast. Most men that hit on me are usually obvious in their pursuit and thus I give them no time to execute their agenda. The man I speak of was calm and harmless, or so I thought. He lived in the region, he had traveled on business and was staying in the same Hotel. He asked me to join him for dinner but he also noticed my wedding ring and said he would understand if our having dinner was inappropriate. He then told me what time he was dining and accorded me a goodbye. Maurice, I went to my room and pondered over going or not. I kept asking myself why I was so curious about the dinner, its like I had already decided but I was equally fighting the temptation. Needless to say, I went.
I am a grown woman who for the entire dinner sat there like I was 18 again, playing with my hair and trying to avoid his eye contact which lured me in with every glance. Maurice, I do not know how and why but I had entered a parallel universe where rules did not apply. For one night I wanted to be someone else and that choice has led me to you.
Maurice asks,
Are you having an affair with that man?
She replies,
Maurice, I am not only having an affair, I am a completely different person when I am with him. That night in Dubai began as a ripple and turned into an avalanche of sexual ecstasy. When he is inside me I feel his girthy throbs filling my womanhood. His touch ignites sensations that only depict stories in novels. Why is he so sweet!
Maurice replies,
The answers to how and why were engraved in you a long time ago. That young girl you once were before the taming had all those sexual characteristics but as you well put it, they were laid to rest. However, you can never tame one’s instinctive potential or sexual trait. When you met your husband, he led you through a path where your real desires were put in a volt. The moment you allowed ‘the beast’ to penetrate the volt, he opened more than just a can of worms, he unleashed the wild girl in you by a stimulus that flooded your body with a wave of erotic feel good neuro chemicals.
She replies,
Is that why I feel my body reacting to him like I have never before?
Maurice replies,
Yes. Your sexual experience with him only awoke the sexual part of you that lay dormant for all those years. Your case is common. The problem, if you can call it that, is that you tasted a penis colada cocktail that surpassed your earlier palette.
How have you kept the fling going?
She replies,
I travel to Dubai once a month and he flies in almost every week to see me. He says I worth it. Maurice, what am I going to do? I don’t want it to end and at the same time I can’t lose my husband. I know I sound crazy but am loving the balance in my life right now. My friends have judged me and one has threatened to tell if I don’t stop the affair. She’s a bitch anyway, she has always had the hots for my husband so no surprise there.
Maurice asks,
Are you having sex with your husband?
She replies,
Yes, I am still sexually attracted to him and it helps that the Dubai guy tells me to pretend to be fucking my husband when I am with him, that is such a turn on. When he last took me to the airport to fly back home he told me to give my husband a ‘good fuck’ for both of us. I don’t understand him at times and that adds to my fascination towards him. I was in the office when he called the other day and he made me touch myself. I was so wet, I hurried to the bathroom and aroused myself. This man is doing things to me that I never thought possible. There was no one sexual before my husband. I love my husband but I really love what this other man does to me. How can one feeling be stronger then my vows, how can it make me priorities on a singular craving?
Maurice replies,
My dear, simply put, in my vast experiences with relationship dynamics, I have never ever seen love alone conquer all. It is a mythical ideology. Love is an emotion best known to those who feel it and embrace it BUT love’s cousin, Lust, is the fuel that drives desire, the ingredient that amplifies basic attractions and sustains the bond between two people who call themselves lovers.
Only you can turn things around to the way they were but that will be easier said than done. I deal with realities not fiction. It would be the right thing to do as per societal rules, to discourage you and in my own delusional bubble remind you that you are doing the wrong thing as I condemn you, when in reality other psychological and physiological forces are in play overriding every notion you once believed was wrong. Is it a justification, I will let others debate that one. What I do know is that your choice to explore has led you here, to a place where the real World is blurred by the dosage of lust you are prescribed to during your escapades. It time for you to make that ultimate choice which will dictate your future.
Something to take home, your affair has been thrilling because you are dealing with a very calculative well versed, well spoken man in the realm of seduction.
She replies,
Thanks Maurice.
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Some secrets are best left secret. You don’t really want your husband to find out so tell your friends that you have stopped seeing the other guy while you continue to see your side kick. Something tells me your bitchy friend will tell on you anyway so be ready to have a convincing story to counter her story.
Life is short. Have fun. You only live once.
Hehehe….sigh….I won’t even knock this: These kind of situations will continue popping up, especially for 70s & 80s babies….
Normally, I’d cus out cunts like this, but, you know what, they bring to light an issue which men NEED to understand:
YOU CANNOT NEGOTIATE DESIRE!!
As Maurice succinctly put it: “Lust, is the fuel that drives desire, the ingredient that amplifies basic attractions and sustains the bond between two people who call themselves lovers.”
See brothers, men have been raised over the past 3-5 decades to be “the type of men women want them to be”…(or so they think)…To be the simp who toes the “Lean In” Sandbergian philosophy – be the guy who is sensitive, who does his share, who’s not afraid of embracing his ‘feminine’ side, a nice guy, a dependable guy – A FUCKING BITCH!!!
Mainly this ideology is meant to secure the provision side of women’s biological imperative. The other side has to deal with securing the best genes, in other words, “The D!”. This is reality, pende usipende.
Women are hypergamous…It is what it is.
So naturally, the protagonists husband played his part, up to a point: And here’s the rub – Despite the musings of feminism and egali/equamentalists, men and women evolved to be complimentary. So, yes, a lad should be the head, and be so with conviction, and in action.
However, feminism, women, the feminine imperative, call it what we may, has also strived to curtail men’s NATURAL, evolved biological imperative, i.e. to spread seed, to fuck/be with many women, more precisely, men’s sexuality.
Many social conventions have been generated to push this kind of thinking to be a social norm, to make sure that men kill the immutable fact that we NEED to and WANT to fuck. So men are always shamed if you have multiple partners, or are polygynous, or non-committal to the vagaries of whimsical wants & needs of women.
But all this leads back to a question people have always asked themselves: why a woman will implode a marriage/relationship for a “fling” with a guy who is a “bastard” not in all cases, or just some guy.
And of course women exhibit hyperagency, like Lisa above, and push the “Wild Oats Project” (“…courtesy of Robin Rinaldi, author of The Wild Oats Project. This book and the “experiment in cuckoldry” such as it was, centres on, you guessed it, a 40-something woman who abandons her marriage for one year to bang the random men she was prevented from fucking by being married to her dependable, unexciting…husband.”) view point where women ‘make up for missing out’. And, you know what, that’s ok…
Because….HOES AIN’T LOYAL!
Men are the real romantics: Women love conditionally…as Briffault’s Law says: “All past sacrifice is null and void if your continued association does not provide her with a tangible benefit. To simplify: if you cannot help her now, she does not care if you helped her before.”
I’ve come to accept this, cause you know what, I used to be that nice guy, pedestalizing women, believing in unicorns – but once I realised the bitter truth, looked back, and saw how that literally extinguished desire in women, I am now wiser.
I now love women for who they are, and I expect them to act just that way. And they love me on my own terms.
Simply put, apart from doing your part as a leader in the home, a man’s role includes, and, is inseparable from, being a BEAST and leader ‘in the bed’.
So, yes, the protagonist’s hubby let the ball slip, he became comfortable – and folks as we know, “Familiarity breeds contempt, but it also breeds complacency” to quote Rollo Tomassi.
To further quote Tomassi in “Post Selection”: “I’ve stated in many prior threads that familiarity, comfort, rapport, vulnerability and security are all anti-seductive attributes when it come to women’s sexual response.”
And in “The True Romantics” he says: “Women do not appreciate planned, romantic gestures.” planned here may also equated to routine…he goes on, “What most men and all women don’t understand is that the things a woman finds romantic are rarely ever planned….The problem with planned romanticism is that it’s pregnant with an obligation to be appreciated. Men can be romantic, just not the way women say how they expect it. Like pretty much anything else women say, it’s not what they really want, but a man can’t be told what that is, he has to figure it out for himself, otherwise it isn’t genuine.”
And there it is….
This doesn’t excuse the cunt’s behaviour, after all, women will be women. Even in this situation you can clearly see that she will not give up the comfort of her matrimonial home, but she will not sacrifice the need to feed those ‘tingles’ caused by this new stranger, the need to get fucked, ravaged, as it were.
And of course, fellow cohorts, like Lisa above, echo this sentiment.
So yeah she’s a certified cock gobbling cunt who has reached a point in her life that many married women will reach, she needs “excitement”. HAHA!
“Awwwwwwwwww…..”
We understand hoe…we really do. Women need to fucked, and fucked good, that includes everything that comes with it. The hubby needed to MAKE the protagonist, rather remind her to be, his slut because as reality shows, every man wants a woman to be a slut, just, to be his slut.
But that will be pretty hard, in his current situation…he might have to suffer a severe rout of pain to bring about his awakening.
Men must know and never forget, as IllimitableMen states; “It is precisely how women love which vitiates their capacity for loyalty to that of bastardised half-loyalty. A loyalty dictated by hypergamy rather than honour. A Machiavellian self-serving loyalty, yes. A noble one, most definitely not.”
It is what it is fellas….
As an aside, I’ve always said that, for men, there will always be women who CAN replace the ones you are involved with, and there will always be women who WANT to replace them.
Case in point, the cunt reflects; “My friends have judged me and one has threatened to tell if I don’t stop the affair. She’s a bitch anyway, she has always had the hots for my husband so no surprise there.”
Also, for my fellow men, from RT’s “Dread Games”:
“you should be seeking to reassure (a woman) of your love and devotion, but know that due to women’s intrinsic fear of security loss, you will never achieve an ideal state of contentment of it, and certainly not by relying solely on comfort and familiarity. She want’s you to rock the boat, it’s what makes her feel alive.”
Emphasis mine.
I feel bad for the dude, but hope he doesn’t get too broken when he finds out, because he will. And hope he manages to regroup and find a woman who he can be a real man with.
To be honest, I hope he wakes up, fucks her friends, even her sister, and next’s the cunt.
We live in a world where women expect men to be tolerant of of cuckolding even retroactively. Not me!
So fellas, don’t get predictable, or transparent, or too reassuring…women, whether as your wife (or wives), side dishes, or girlfriends or fuck buddy’s should never feel that comfortable…aaaaaaand….fuck ’em hard, and fuck ’em good!
PS: 5 things to remember, from “Fifty Shades of Red” & “Fifty Shades Redder”:
1. “Women love children how men love women.”
2. “Women aren’t loyal to you, they’re loyal to your power.”
3. “Female loyalty is not loyalty in the truest sense of the word, for it is far too conditional to be considered such a thing. The conventional understanding of loyalty demands a bond beyond an enamour with power.”
4. “Women need and crave masculinity in their lives. If you are in a relationship, but not sufficiently masculine, your woman will cheat on you. It’s not so much a matter of ‘if’ as it is a matter of ‘when.’ As such, a relationship’s success is your primary responsibility, not hers.”
5. “You have been lied to about the nature of women all your life, disregard what you think you knew because it is probably wrong. Ignore the top-down preaching that society espouses. Reconstruct your understanding from the bottom-up.”
[…] Which is posted here: […]
Just in case people think this situation is unique…
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/dec/18/i-am-not-attracted-to-my-husband-i-love-him-like-a-brother?CMP=twt_gu
bakayaro
you sound so bitter. but today’s society both men n females aren’t loyal. n they no longer know the meaning of patience and love. and the biggest of it all communication.
tell your partner what gets you “there” if not he/ will keep guessing and thinking your satisfied while in the end ur not and hence the cheating.