Dear Maurice,
I was listening to a song by Ruben Studdard ‘Change Me‘ which prompted me to share my experiences with the female species. I must say you are well versed in your field, kudos. Coincidentally I met a woman who attended your session and she had nothing but praise for you. I was more interested in hearing what you talk to women about and I was pleasantly surprised after her break down of topics covered. I have followed your blog since 2012 and I must say you have encountered the good, the bad and the ugly side of relationships and you’re still in the game. You must have patience and be very calm and collected in character to do your job, that’s my opinion.
Maurice replies,
So I have be told.
He replies,
I was once married for 13 years to a woman I thought I knew well but she bailed on me.
Maurice asks,
Expound on bailed?
He replies,
One day she took me out for dinner and after what I thought was a setting for romance she sat there and changed her posture, immediately her body language and facial expression told me she was about to drop a bomb on me. I had no idea how damaging that bomb would be.
Maurice asks,
What did she say?
He replies,
She told me she had stopped loving me years ago but did not know how to tell me.
Maurice asks,
Was it your fault? I only ask because its always assumed that men are at fault.
He replies,
I did ask her why, she said I had been a ‘great’ husband and father to our daughter but somewhere along the way she lost her taste for me. To quote her ‘she knew she had reached the end of the road when she slept with her colleague’. Its bad enough to be dumped by your wife as you learn she was fucking someone else but for her to quote Boyz II Men lyrics as she breaks away is not something I envisioned considering I grew up on their music. I can laugh about it now, seven years later, but it pierced my entire being to see a woman I loved walk away. I had heard of love fading between two people but I was not prepared to be a victim. I gave my all and I guess that is what matters most. Now, to the reason I wanted to share. Since my marriage collapse, I have ventured out and dated a variety of women.
How do you meet a woman and she lays the law clearly. She creates a fling setting or should I call it a friends with benefits arrangement. We then fuck once or twice, she then shifts goal posts overnight and without a memo we are allegedly ‘dating’. This is apparent when her calls are investigative, questions take on a new unwelcome sharp. Questions like, why are you quiet, why didn’t you pick up, where were you last night and were you alone? Did I forget to mention she is married. She goes home to another man and she fucks him. Do I care? No, why, because I know the parameters of our arrangement.
I met another character in a wine bar. We got chatting, we flirted, one thing led to another and I woke up at her place and was met by room service breakfast which was a good sign of bad things to come. At the bar, I made it abundant that I was looking for nothing more than fun. Then she joked about me being the one to as they say ‘catch feelings’ because she has that effect on men. How do I refuse such a challenge when its a win win for me. Granted her strokes were tight! She gave it like Naughty By Nature and boy did she have a coca cola bottle body. As our fling progressed she did not disappoint her species by falling head over heels. It began with gifts, then dinner treats that were accompanied by great sex. Things went downhill when she found a panty at my place. To defuse the situation I reminded her that we were not exclusive, boy was that a wrong call. She accused me of using her, she said even though we had agreed on a non exclusive relationship format she’s only human and that feelings kicked in and that she thought mine had too. Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups, too bad she did not know that. She left like a wounded bull and the text messages were relentless. I was called names, no surprise there. She wrote ‘you are a user’, ‘all you wanted was sex’, ‘is this what you do to all women’. Let us assume I was the bad guy in all this. If only you could see her text messages you would not be tagging me as the sexual freak, she was extremely creative when it came to sexting. I am not complaining am just saying its the pot calling the kettle black.
Women are strange creatures, that is my conclusion after decades of interaction.
Maurice, have you ever noticed in normal conditions men unlike women do not shower together. When did you shower with your Dad or brother? When did you even appear nude in the same space. But women do, wouldn’t mind being the fly on the wall but they do bathe and undress casually as they gossip or bitch about someone, rarely something. They remind me of a colony of termites. They are at times at loggerheads with each other but I believe they use that as their training ground to unleash their wrath at us.
Maurice replies,
I must admit the above is faced by many men.
He replies,
Am not done. I find it an insult that as per the unwritten rule by women, that our key function is to provide. That may have been the case in past generations but in modern day life, it takes partnership to make and sustain a home. Do we both work so that your money is your money and my money is ours, that is primitive thinking. It is out dated.
Maurice replies,
I agree. It takes a solid partnership in today’s World. I was having a similar debate about the definition of a man and to cut a long story short I declined the title of being a man if earning that title meant my core function is to be a service provider. It is simple, if you have a family you will instinctively want to care and protect them, the same rules apply in the Wild. I fear that matrimony will be diluted by the gold digger mentality where men are indirectly forced to compete with others at work, in the social arena and in the bedroom. In situations of asserted pressure, something must give, sadly in many cases its the cost of a union.
He replies,
An ex of mine once argued that it was my duty to pay all her bills. I responded ‘fine’ but what 
about you, what are you bringing to the table, please don’t say your pussy because there is a market full of them. She got so annoyed. She gave me the silent treatment for one whole month. In turn for a whole month I was fulfilling my other manly duties by sharing my bedroom etiquette with an assortment of women who were too willing after I told them my ‘girlfriend’ was hibernating.
Maurice replies,
In this day and age its counter-productive for both gender to play the sex card. Who does that????
He replies,
Stupid people. My grandfather once told me that a woman’s vagina can never be filled. It is visited many times, at times by many but it never fills. In my mother tongue it sounds worse.
My boys keep telling me to remarry are find love. One even dared to mention that marriage had his good side, in the context of never being lonely, always having the opportunity to have sex with the one you connect with. I then asked him, if his marriage was so good why is it that over the many years we have known each other I have heard him bonking his secretary and other dial a fuck associates during getaways. He suddenly took an oath of silence!
Maurice replies,
That was funny. Dude you have taken me back after listening to that song. Speaking of songs, do you find that you will only get along with women who dig the same music. The other day I laugh when a friend told me he was out with some girl who asked who B.B King was after she over heard him and his boys talking about his music at a jazz festival. That was their last date which I believe was their second. He Control Alt Deleted her.
He replies,
Nowadays I am selfish. You enter my car you listen to whatever am listening to, if you don’t like my music no problem, my car has breaks. I stopped cooking for a woman. What is the point! Maurice, take my advice, stick to your sexual teachings and reunite couples but leave romance and love well alone.
Maurice replies,
I hear you bro. I have never changed my spots, probably why I am not hitched. Apart from my work which I am very passionate about. I am also a very sexual man with specific fetishes that must be experienced and I have no apologies. It is odd how recent conversations with a close friend are interlinked with our dialogue. He gave me a scenario, there is a faithful man who adores his wife and would move Mountains for her. Then there is another guy, the guy the wife has a steamy affair with, which turned out to be my friend. He asked me which guy would I rather be? That was a no-brainer. Every man on the planet wants to be the guy who gets the better deal.
He replies,
True. Maurice, have you ever been what they call the bad boy?
Maurice replies,
Truth be told. I am a big believer in romance or rather what used to be romance. Its just unfortunate romance today has a variety of definitions and to be honest my core cannot adapt. In regards to the ‘bad boy’, some of us wrote the manual. Back in the day I used to eat the so called bad boy for breakfast but currently out of choice lets not spoil it for them. After all many are seeking an audience and societal predatory relevance stemming from their ego and self esteem issues that drive them to put on the bad boy act.
As I pen off I would like thank you for sharing. It has been thrilling to engage with an equal peer who out of experience can boldly share his views without fear of judgement. I admire men of conviction. I have been accused of siding with women but that has never been the case. I deal with social dynamics that may at times leave a bad taste in your mouth whether you are a man or woman. Its about highlighting what is really going on in people’s homes, relationships and find a realistic solution which will not always be rosy.
He replies,
Its been a pleasure.
Maurice replies,
Cheers mate.
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Ruben Studdard – Change Me
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*For women who are having issues with getting pregnant (fertility) you can call me for the referral 0720229351.
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https://mauricetherapy.com/about/ (my profile link)
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