mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 7 months. I met my husband just over 2 years ago. We have no kids as yet. I would like your opinion of something that has bothered me since I met my husband.

Maurice asks,

How can I help?

She replies,

I have read your articles on sex and I must admit a lot of it has confirmed my worries but I thought it would be better directly asking you about my sex life which to be honest I have not been happy with for a long time. When I have sex I can only cum if a man takes time, at least 20 minutes or more. It is not of my making it is just the way my body responds.

Maurice asks,

So what you are saying is your husband does not get you there or has never gotten you there.

She replies,

Correct, he has never made me cum but he thinks he has. Sometimes I feel guilty lying to him and I do tell him that I haven’t cum but I always make up an excuse. Our sex life has always been about my husband and never about me. I have read in many of your articles that couples should communicate but unfortunately my husband and I fell into a routine where he assumes he is the ultimate performer and I am the ultimate faker.

Maurice asks,

What do you need from me?

She replies,

I need to stop faking. I need to feel what I used to feel with an ex boyfriend of mine. I have realised that I met my husband and immediately fell in-love with his ability to provide for me and in that department he is perfect but now I need to experience an orgasm with my him. This is the man I chose and I thought he would improve with time but it has gotten worse because within the first 4 months of courtship our sex went from 4 times a week to 2 times a week and sometimes we can go a whole week or more without sex. My other issue is that 99% of the time I am the one that initiates. I am tired and I fear the future if this continues. I had never thought of cheating till recently when I met my ex clubbing and though I declined his advances I knew what he could offer me.

I miss the feeling of a man’s endurance and what it leads to but I know if I give into my cravings there will be no turning back. My husband has tried viagra but it does not increase his vigor to get me to orgasm. When he is on viagra we can go 2 or 3 rounds but the orgasm is always elusive because after a few minutes he cums. It is so frustrating because I start to lose my sex drive with him. I did refer my husband to your blog but after reading erotic sex for couples he said that men from your region are obsessed with sex and that most of the advise is not practical for a man his age. You see what I am dealing with and he is only 34 you could think he was 70 years old. Can the vigrx plus herbal supplement make him go for longer?

Maurice replies,

No it cannot. It will increase his capacity to have sex by giving him the mental and physical stimulus required but it probably won’t improve his sexual longevity. Sexual endurance is what you seek in your bedroom and the unfortunate thing is there is no known remedy that substantially increases male endurance. Have you tried having him induce an orgasm by going down on you. That works for many women and his tongue shouldn’t get tired because part of satisfying a woman is asserting patience and effort.

She replies,

My husband has never sucked my pussy. From the on set he made it very clear that he can never do that. In short Maurice you are saying that I am doomed.

Maurice replies,

It is not about being doomed. When you met your husband you sampled his sexual performance and for some reason even after not being satisfied by him you decided to continue courtship and eventually married him. My dear you need to work with what you have. The two of you need to research on alternatives ways of making you achieve orgasm, that is your only option. Sometimes being open to your spouse reveals a reality which requires attention and if you are committed to each other then things can only get better or rather the potential is there.

She replies,

I see your point but I know it is going to be an uphill task to change my husband’s thinking about sex. It is as if he faults me when I don’t cum.

Maurice replies,

Nothing good comes easily in life. Remember patience and effort is what you need. If your husband cares about your sexual satisfaction he will apply the necessary effort.

She replies,

Anyway let me be positive about the possibilities. Thank you for your advise.

Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 5 years. I met my husband while in campus and we hit it off and 1 year later he became my lawful husband. We have no kids by choice. He was my first love and also my first sexual partner after marriage. He had dated before so he had some form of experience. I really do not know how to come out and say it but I seem to be changing as a woman. In the last year I have found my womanhood drifting away from status quo.

Maurice asks,

What do you mean by drifting away?

She replies,

My husband has been everything to me, he has been a friend and a mentor in the ways of life but since my own experiences I have realised that something was always lacking in our relationship. I love my husband and yet I feel as if he has limited my exposure over the years.

Maurice asks,

So can you pin point what is lacking in your marriage?

She replies,

For years I have heard women friends talking about sex. It always struck me that some of their descriptions did not relate with what I was experiencing at home. I always heard about the orgasm, how some of them would moan and even scream while having sex with their partners. It was a bit intimidating because I thought that I as a woman was most likely doing something wrong, not adding to the spice of love making.

Maurice replies,

I notice you said ‘you thought’, does this mean you know better, which only leads to one conclusion in my book?

She replies,

Yes I do know better. I have had an affair for almost one year. I am not proud of it but at the same time I am not guilty either. At one point I was curious and I felt my body demanding for sex beyond what my husband could offer which fueled me to venture out.

Maurice asks,

So what did you find?

She replies,

I quickly found out that sexual desire is not linked to the love you share with your partner. After 2 coffee dates a man I met shopping at my local supermarket took me to his bed and overwhelmed me with sexual sensations that I had never experienced. The way he touches me, rubs me down and looks at me is so different to the technical sex I have at home. When am with him he makes me feel sexy. The sex takes me to the greatest heights. I know what it feels like to have foreplay, to orgasm, I also know how it feels to have a man’s lips and tongue on my clitoris. When I am in the shower I close my eyes and imagine each drop as his touch. I never had such erotic thoughts before.

Maurice I may sound selfish but I am angry with my husband for making me settle for less. Why did he not make the effort to be a better lover in bed?

Maurice replies,

I do not play judge nor jury neither do I favor but I must point out that your husband sexually gave you what he could manage based on his endurance and sexual vitality. You only had a change of heart once you explored what has evidently become greener pastures for you.

She replies,

Maurice I hope you are not going to giving me the speech of how I have been a bad girl because I already got it from a few close friends and family thinking that they would be able to think beyond the societal expectation that I should not commit adultery. The only reason I am sharing is because I know from your blog that you do not judge one’s sexual escapades but may shade some light on how to handle mine.

Maurice replies,

My primary domain is sexuality, what people do sexually is not for me to judge. However I am curious to know how you intend to mask your sexual cravings when it comes to your husband. Are you going to end your escapades?

She replies,

I guess what I want to know is if my husband can change into the sexual being I need him to be?

Maurice asks,

Have you hinted to him that your sex life needs more spice, most importantly have you tried to direct him to your arousal zones during the start of your sex session?

She replies,

My husband is a know it all kind of man. The minute I attempt to suggest something regarding sex he will immediately know that I am hiding something. I can not risk him knowing.

Maurice replies,

My dear you already took a risk when you slept with another man so I do not believe directing your husband to understanding your body better is a risk. You just need to be tactful. My other concern is that your husband will not turn into the stallion you seek. That is impossible and you in the other hand will not be able to erase your indiscretion experiences. You have a renewed bench mark set by another man and I do not believe that after 5 years of marriage your husband will deliver to your expectations. Without sounding harsh those are the consequences of not drive testing a vehicle before you buy it.

You need to make a decision about your marriage. I have dealt with these scenarios and most of the time the wife has made a conscious decision on whether to stay in the marriage or not. I personally do not encourage people to settle for less but neither do I encourage people to part with the sole reason being sex. You must ask yourself if you truly are still in-love with your husband and whether you can risk it all for what may seem like greener pastures. It is a life changing decision but you must decide so that you do not have to deceive your husband by living a double life that you will not be able to maintain for much longer without your husband noticing slight affection changes.

She replies,

All I know is that I love my husband for the man that he is but sexually I cannot settle knowing what is out there.

Hi Maurice,

I want to take this opportunity to thank you for the experience that you gave me and the girls who are still praising you and your skill. We have named you the Squirt King LoL.  I must also thank my hubby because if it wasn’t for his open minded character he would not have referred me to your blog which led me to calling you about booking a squirting session.

Thankfully my hubby has gained from this, he is over the moon that we have added the phenomena of squirting to our vibrant sex life after 12 years of marriage. Believe it or not but my hubby is quite the fast learner, he managed to make me squirt using his finger within 5 minutes, he is attentive and keen when he puts his mind to it, it was a wow moment for both of us.

Now to the reason I write to you. After your advise on foreplay hubby and I sat down and really asked ourselves if we could make foreplay work for us as a lifestyle and not just for the short term fun. We fortunately came to a mutual agreement that we would be brutally blunt if one of us was to lack commitment in that area from now on. As I had explained we had lost our sexual connection to our careers and overall busy days that turned into weeks, months and years. I still consider myself a young woman at 34 and I hope to be sexually attractive to my hubby another 12 years from now. With your advise I am confident it will happened. We did eventually use the cuff set. It was funny at first because neither of us had experienced being blind folded and the whole whipping each other thing was hilarious. I am used to seeing my husband in a suit or in shorts and polo shirts so seeing him butt naked in cuffs was new and boy was I surprised that he has an uncoordinated sexy dance which is so cute. We forgot to buy yoghurt but we definitely had fun on our first trial night. We are looking forward to more nights especially away from home. Our scheduled getaway is from April 30th to May 5th. This will be our chance to share some quality time, as per your advice we have agreed to switch off our phones, we have activated a dormant line for family to contact us in-case of any emergency. Maurice you have opened our eyes to a new way of embracing our sex life and most importantly our marriage, I am grateful. I am equally certain that I will be getting back to you with good news of our getaway.

Dear Maurice,

I am a 28 year old woman. I am very concerned about my labia minora (inner lips). In my opinion I have always had an abnormal labia. I say this because according to what I see on one side my labia minora is a bit longer than the other side. I know it isn’t going to cause me any actual health problems, however it is pretty embarrassing having a fairly large extra piece of skin in that region. I have tried to go with the “everyone is different” excuse but I am getting increasingly self conscious about it. I have always be uncomfortable with my husband realizing that it is abnormal. First of all I want to know if this really is common with women? I have read that in the West some women opt for surgery, is that an option for me? I have attached my labia photo of which you can publish. I believe many women like me would like to know if this is abnormal or not. For 6 years I have dimmed the lights to avoid my husband staring at it, please help.

Maurice replies,

Your minora is perfectly fine. There is no such thing as ‘normal’ otherwise it would imply that there is a recommended size of labia minora. Minora size differs from one woman to the next. What studies have shown is that larger women tend to have bigger majora (outer lips) because the fat pads within the labia get bigger if you have more fat.

If your husband has hinted or glanced at your minora in a way to suggest shock or horror then he just need a bit of exposure. Lets start with him reading my reply to you.

You mentioned surgery, in the West it is more for those who can afford it and believe that their vagina requires a cosmetic make over. I totally do not recommend surgery. If a frog or strange anomaly was growing on your labia then surgery may be required, that is not the case here so surgery is out.