mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 1 year 4 months. I am 26 and my husband is 31. Currently we are having major arguments with my husband regarding almost everything under the sun. I do not know how to describe the situation other than call my husband a compulsive clean freak. He constantly negatively remarks about our home. He complains about my cleaning regiment which I believe is good however according to him I can do much better. Our home is spotless and I keep it that way because I know what a clean freak he is. But I also doubt the actual reason for the quarrels. I don’t know what it is but there must be something more to it.

Maurice asks,

When did your troubles begin?

She replies,

For the last one year we have had arguments every week. This causes us to turn to silent treatment around the house and that might go on for a few days.

Maurice asks,

In the last year did anything happen to stress your husband, it could be home or work related?

She replies,

Not that I know of, my husband is very vocal so if there was something bothering him I would expect for him to share with me but so far he has not mentioned anything of concern. I am having thoughts that he is bored of me and maybe he was not entirely ready for marriage, do you think that could be the case?

Maurice replies,

To say yes or no would be speculating at this point and time. I believe your husband may be troubled by something and that is causing him to experience stress which in-turn is affecting your communication. The whole cleaning regiment may be a bi-product of the core stress point which we need to establish.

She replies,

Could he be having an affair? I ask this because it’s not normal for a couple to constantly argue over the same matter for one year. I feel unappreciated in my own home. I feel that he has his fun outside the home then comes to off load his stresses on me instead of just coming out clean and telling me the truth. My husband complains about our kitchen, our sitting room, our bedroom, he has made it his mission to find a problem where there’s none. I am not exaggerating about our home situation, it’s getting worse and I don’t think I can take much more of it.

Maurice replies,

I can tell that things at home are stressful for you but let’s not jump the gun by speculating on whether your husband is cheating on you or not. I would like to believe that the real reason will come out during a session, where the 3 of us can share candid dialogue.

She replies,

How do I convince him to a counseling session?

Maurice replies,

You need to emphasis to your husband that your quarrels are affecting your bond and if he cares enough he needs to address the matter seriously. If one is willing to maintain harmony within their marriage they will do whatever is necessary to sustain a healthy marriage where both parties are emotionally content.