mauricetherapy

Hi Maurice,

Remember me, the woman who came to you in January and we later had a session with my husband. I wanted to let you know that we are finally back together again. I was hurt but I was not going to throw away 8 years of marriage because of little girls.

After our session with you it took a while but my husband did come home and he explained everything. It was not easy to listen to but as per your guidance I keenly listened to every detail and I actually felt partly to blame.

Maurice asks,

Explain….

She replies,

He called me on a Friday when I was at work and he told me that he wanted to come home the next day and explain himself even if it was over between us he said he felt he owed me the truth, and he also made reference to things you had directed to him during our session.

I told him to pass by in the afternoon when I knew the kids would be out with their friends. He was on time and at 3pm we were sat together after many many months. As the conversation was kicking off he broke down and confessed to everything. He had cheated with multiple girls and he admitted that his actions were premeditated only targeting college girls who he could manipulate.

Maurice asks,

During our session he touched on sexual fantasies did he mention them?

She replies,

You read my mind. He did mention them. He said it was not an excuse but there are certain sexual desires he could not live without and that he felt I was most of the time to involved with family that I would deny him attention and sex at least 80% of the time whenever he made his advances at me.

Maurice asks,

Do you agree with his sentiments?

She replies,

Sadly I do agree that I was not there for him as his woman. There is one reference of you that stood out for him.

Maurice asks,

Which is?

She replies,

When you told him that he needs to make a decision and simplify our situation. You told him he needs to come out clean about his infidelity or let me be so that another man can care and love me the way I should be loved. That really got to him but at the time he said nothing.

Back to the revelations. He asked me if I knew the man I married sexually. I replied yes. He then asked me why I was so sexually cold to the point I became unattractive to him. I told him I did not realise that his sexuality was a priority in marriage I thought it would decline with the years and instead I put all my energies to caring for my family. I now know that was a mistake on my part. During our courtship days I always told him how as his wife I would be the kinkiest woman, how I would be his bitch for life but to be honest I thought that was just flirting, basically sweet nothings. Little did I know that he took my every word and when I did not deliver and he got tired of initiating he decided to satisfy his desires with other women.

Anyway the good news is that we are at full throttle. We are back to being a family and I am loving the sexual adventures.

Maurice asks,

What made you take him back and when did he move back home?

She replies,

1) Because I was part of the problem 2) For the first time ever my husband opened up and I saw the real him, I actually saw a glimpse of the man I first met, I had forgotten that I married a highly sexual being and that I needed to be the one to submit to his cravings. I now believe your statement when you told us that marriage is not difficult it is the choices we make within marriage that make marriage difficult. Maurice my husband moved back home in April. It was a working process to close the chapter and start afresh but we are happy and the sky is the limit. For some reason I have changed my attitude towards sex. My husband loves to explore in the bedroom and we have been reading your blog. Lets just say we have implemented erotic sex for couples part 1 to 3 and I particularly love your article ‘sex in the kitchen’ part 1 and 2. Maurice you are a freak. But without your counsel my husband and I would have faded into divorce. That I know for sure.

Maurice replies,

During our sessions I only made your options clearer, the two of you did most of the work all by yourselves. I am glad that it worked out for you. It is always good news for me to know I played a small part in keeping a marriage alive.

She replies,

You know you did more than you care to admit. Thank you.

Dear Maurice,

You need to help me before I lose my husband.

Maurice asks,

What is the issue?

She replies,

I have messed up big time. It is like I was under a spell. I have been having an affair and now my husband has moved out leaving me and the kids. He says we are done. I need to save my 11 year marriage.

Maurice asks,

Take me through the events that led to this point. And what do you mean you were under a spell?

She replies,

My husband and I have been going through a marital disconnect since last year before xmas and as much as we have tried to resolved our issues we have constantly gotten nowhere. While all this was going on I was swayed by another man’s attention. It had been awhile since I felt like a woman I have been either a mother or wife but never that girl who just feels sexy. This man came along and for 7 months I was in heaven literally. He convinced me that the problem was my husband not appreciating me and after several meetings we shared a bed and from there on it became addictive with all the pleasures that come with that scenario.

Maurice asks,

For how long have you known this man and how did your husband find out?

She replies,

The man is our Pastor. There is no excuse for what I did but on the real I have no idea how I was seduced to the point of having an affair. I accidentally send his text to my husband. Because of the content it was clear that it was not for him. I knew I was in trouble when he did not bother to call to ask. That day I went home thinking I was going to be killed but to my horror my husband just kept quiet and kept his distance. That night was the coldest night ever and I was afraid to say anything. He woke up as normal and went to work. The whole day there was no communication between us even after I text him several times. When I got home that evening he had packed a few of his things and on the bedside he had left me a letter. The letter highlighted his anger. He had specifically detailed all the times in 11 years he had the chance to cheat but made a choice not to. I felt so guilty and at that point I saw my life flash before me, it was those moments you wish you could take it all back.

Maurice asks,

When did he move out and where has he gone?

She replies,

He left 4 days ago, it was on Monday. He moved back home with his parents. He is staying in their guest house. His parents are not picking my calls. Maurice how do I get him back?

Maurice replies,

I wish I had a magical way of getting back home but you must understand that he is hurting and he most likely cannot handle talking to you so he would rather stay quiet. He has probably asked his parents not to interfere hence why they are not picking your calls. Are you close with his parents?

She replies,

I thought so, I speak to his mother quite often but she must be very disappointed in me after all I have shared with her about loving her son. My life is over.

Maurice replies,

Lets not jump the gun and speculate. Take responsibility of the consequences of your actions and give your husband space. As I said he is hurting and from experience with this kind of case he will contact you when he is ready and something tells me one of his parents is pretty curious to hear your side of the story so be patient.

She replies,

The Pastor keeps calling me. I told him what happened and he wants to help. He wants us to change the story and say it was never sexual and that it was demons that had possessed us to flirt via phone.

Maurice replies,

I have many things I would like to say towards that so called Pastor but I will hold my tongue. My dear he is a virus to your marriage and you need to delete his number and never communicate with him again if indeed you are serious in attempting to salvage your marriage.

Dear Maurice,

I have a major choice to make and I need your help. I know what I am asking will not make sense but I feel lost, as if my life has been torn apart.

Maurice asks,

What is going on?

She replies,

I met my husband 4 years ago and we fell in-love instantly. He was living abroad and finally after 16 months of chatting we decided that it was best for him to join me because he applied for a job in Nairobi and he got it. We got married in November 2011. About 6 months ago I started to notice a change in attitude towards me, he would be moody or distant and when I asked he would brush it off with an excuse of stress at work and with his parents in Austria who in truth are quite an handful at times. I then just let it go until the worst day of my life came along.

Maurice asks,

What do you mean?

I walked into them having sex, I stood there in silence totally lost for words and I walked away. I left our home for 6 weeks, he pleaded that I go back home and eventually I returned. I have not forgiven him and we are not even talking.

Maurice asks,

When you say you walked into them, who and where?

She replies,

My husband and someone who I thought was a close friend. She has been there for me since high school so how she could betray me I can not understand. I know she fancies white men but with the social network we have did it have to be my man! They thought they were clever having it on in our guest house but our security guard mentioned that my husband and her were both in the house. I searched the main house and the pool area and as I approached the guest house I was not prepared for what I witnessed.

Maurice asks,

How can I help?

She replies,

Like I said I am close to my friend despite what she did and at the same time I love my husband. I am so mad right now but I do not want to make decisions that I may regret despite the obvious betrayal. My mother says that men will be men and that I can not afford to leave the life I have. That was not the advise I expected from my own mother but I guess that’s her way of thinking.

Maurice replies,

I know your dilemma. You do not want to lose either, one has been there for you through the trials of life and the other is your husband who despite all you still love. Look at it this way. You can never be the threesome you were as friends that is fact. Unless you are prepared to live a separate life with both which in itself will always bring up issues, your choice is not easy.

She replies,

I am not making excuses but one of the reasons I can’t leave my husband is because I feel partly responsible.

Maurice replies,

Explain.

She replies,

For a long while now I have not been the woman he met when it comes to sex and he has been telling me for months that he hates my conservative behavior towards sex. When we used to chat online he made it very clear what he likes sexually and out of the excitement of the moment I played along and when he finally came to Kenya we indulged in sexual acts that I have only experienced with him. Some were great and others well I did them for him. But after a while I began to pull back in the kinky department.

Maurice replies,

I hear you loud and clear. What you are describing relates to all men regardless of race. If you introduce something sexual to a man, the rule of thumb is simple, you can never take it away because for many it somewhat becomes a fetish, a sexual requirement. That said, instead of exploring with your friend your husband should have persisted and resolved his sexual cravings with you.

I know you will not leave him but you need to review your friendship with your female friend. She made a choice and it was the wrong one. She is currently a virus to your marriage. By the way did she apologise to you?

She replies,

She has apologised everyday through every social media and constantly trying to make it up to me. She admits it was a moment of lust and she wishes she could make it go away, I can forgive but forgetting will not be easy.

Maurice replies,

If you and your husband cannot create a mutual platform to pave way for your marriage to blossom from here then do not waste time arguing and pointing fingers just leave each other.

For now your only priority is mending your relations with your husband. This means sitting down and talking, being blunt about issues that lead to his actions. You are seeking a long term solution, having romantic dinners or receiving I am sorry gifts will not suffice. You already know what he did so less judgement and irrational back talk and more logical dialogue will give you a chance to move forward.

She replies,

Thank you Maurice.

Dear Maurice,

I keenly listened to you speak on your tv show about the topic of having sex with your pregnant wife and I disagreed with you.

Maurice asks,

What did you disagree with?

He replies,

These are Kenyan women and you need to be careful what you tell them. You should not be encouraging them to have sex. They are a vulnerable lot and you are giving them advise that is not suitable to the African setting. Pregnant women should not be engaging in sex. If a man cannot control his urge he can always have alternative ways of having that mental release.

Maurice replies,

So what you are saying is that pregnant women in your opinion are not sexually appetizing to you?

He replies,

Not only that but they are moody so getting them to have sex is a hustle and I think many men agree with me.

Maurice asks,

Are you also saying that it is ok to sleep with other women because your wife is pregnant?

He replies,

I have been married for 21 years and from the word go my wife always knew that when she was pregnant sleeping with her was not an option and that I had to satisfy myself elsewhere. Those were my terms and conditions.

Maurice replies,

Well if you put it that way it changes everything. Not all men have ‘terms and conditions’ with their spouse. Your marriage has an arrangement so there are no surprises hence why it works for you. But for you to imply that pregnant women are not sexy is totally wrong. In case you are not aware there are plenty of men who find pregnant women attractive. It is all about mindset and unfortunately our African setting tends to erode the erotic elements of sexual bonds.

He replies,

You must be referring to lactating breasts, why would you venture into sucking a pregnant woman’s nipple, that is meant for the baby not a grown man.

Maurice replies,

My good man you are missing out of the finer things in life, then again lactating nipples are not a fetish for everyman.

He replies,

Matheka that act is disgusting.

Maurice asks,

Have you ever tasted that milk? I can bet you have never, plus there’s no VAT on it. Some of us wish it was a stable food. So please do not knock it till you have had a taste.

In the World we live in today people are not willing to settle for less, especially women, and if you are not sucking her nipples don’t be surprised if someone else is doing your job for you. What one person refuses to do another will gladly indulge. That is the unwritten rule book, the sooner you embrace the every changing social arena the better.

Have a lactose tolerant day.

Dear Maurice,

I am 24 years old. I do not have much experience with men but I have been told that I am bootilicious and curvy. Recently a man that I had only met a week ago and only had dinner with him once told me he would love it if I talked dirty to him during sex. He said he would especially love it if I called him daddy. I was taken back by his request, not because he wanted me to talk dirty because I’m shy and it might be awkward at first to do it. However the thing that shocked me was him wanting me to call him daddy during sex. I know a lot of people call their lovers daddy in the bedroom but for me I automatically think of a father figure and the last thing I want to think about when I’m romping in the sheets is my dad. I’m I over thinking this request?

Maurice replies,

Yes, you are. There are plenty of people around the World who use ‘who’s your daddy’ in bed, for many its a turn on however there are women who find it a turn off. Dirt talk is just a way to trigger certain feelings that enhance sex. Nothing to be shy or shocked about.

She replies,

Thanks Maurice. I believe that in order to keep a man interested you must do what he wants you to do in bed. You have to be the girlfriend, the wife and mistress all in one. Can calling your lover ‘daddy’ refer to his reproductive nature, like you’re saying you could see him as a father to your children?

Maurice replies,

Not at all. And if you intend to keep this man interested in you, considering you only just met him, you should stay clear from mentioning anything linked to baby making. And I hope you are playing safe between the sheets with this man.

She replies,

Yes I am. He said he wanted to have my baby while he was cumming. He then kissed me passionately and held me till morning.

Maurice replies,

It is a feel good statement, as a man cums he is filled with an incredible urge to turn into Clark Kent, at that point he will say anything that gives him a sense of power. “Honey your sweat smells of tulips” is not sexy and that is why statements made by a man during sex usually conflict with the aftermath reality of a woman.

“I want to have your baby” is in most cases a mental power trip, a statement that defines manhood at that short lived moment. Unfortunately women tend to mentally record the whole sex session and play back the minutes to men.

She replies,

Lol tulips, I now get it.

I have read your article on ‘how to make her squirt’ and all I can say is wow wow wow. I tried it on myself several times and failed to squirt but I ‘came’. I am afraid to ask this man to make me squirt because he may ask me how I know about squirting.

Maurice replies,

You have 2 options. Refer him to the article or print it out for him to read. Let him empower himself with the information so that he can feel part of the process that hopefully makes you squirt in the near future.