mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 2 years 7 months and there are elements of my life that I thought I could ignore or suppress but I can’t. I am pretty, extremely independent and I love the erotic nature of sexuality. I have read so much of your work and I think you will understand me better than most. I met my husband clubbing with my girls and apart from liking my bodily attributes he also liked the fact that I was bi curious and at times me and some of my girls would host sexy dress themed parties and all sorts of things would occur during those nights. Now that we are married I am having less and less of my sexual needs met.  I miss being me, being naughty, taking my clothes off as we play poker. My husband still makes me feel sexy but I feel as if we are in a cocoon, as if we have limitations now that we are married.

Maurice asks,

What is it that you miss?

She replies,

I miss so much where do I start. Before I met my husband I used to have multiple female sexual partners, some friends and some random girls I would meet clubbing. When I met my husband he was very open to sexual adventure as my boyfriend but now things are not as they were before. About 11 months ago we had what you can call our last adventure and it did not go well. For the first time ever during our 3some session with a mutual friend my husband bailed out as things were getting steamy and went to watch television. I at that point should have followed him but I continued having sex so he must have been pissed off listening to 2 women moaning for most of the night. After that incident our sex life has gone downhill. Truth be told I miss the touch of a woman and I miss the man I met in the beginning who was open to my sexuality. I miss my man taking nude photos of me in the wild, in our garden. I miss how he would get turned on by watching me playing with another woman. I miss our cat and mouse games at home and especially when we were out of town in some cottage out in the woods of Mount Kenya. I miss being one with nature. My husband as my boyfriend knew I was a exhibitionist and he was supportive. For some reason his sexual drive is not there.

Maurice asks,

Has he made a drastic change in character as you describe or has he changed less to your liking?

She replies,

He is just not as open to my adventures as he once was. I was walking around the house naked and to my disbelieve he asked me to put on some clothes and act like a wife. Where did that come from? I will not change who I am and make him forget the sexiness in initially saw in me. I am going to fight him and remind him that I may be his wife but I want to be his bitch more than ever before.

Maurice replies,

I totally agree with you. You should not change who he fell for and much of his attraction stemmed from the physical, he only got to know you as a woman during the courtship that led you to marriage. It is my opinion that what used to be fun for him is now more competition. He has gained feelings for you that go beyond the physical so your sexual escapades are most likely creating jealousy instead of erotic expression. Men are not the best at communicating their fears so do yourself a favour and make your husband feel that he will never cease to be your hunk, your bedroom master. You need to spark that sense of fun into him. Once he feels that no matter what you get up to he is your number one ‘always’ he will soon enough ‘hopefully’ go back to being the man who embraced your sexuality.

One’s sexuality is not redefined in marriage. Those couples that change their out look on their sexuality in marriage will always find themselves at loggerheads, why? Because human sexual desire is not altered by marriage, neurochemicals that define who we are and especially sexually do not readjust. Everyone has a sexual desire and it must be met regardless of societal status.  Be wise, put as much energy and priority in your ‘between the sheets affairs‘ as you do in other areas of your life. In the World we live in today, if you do not priorities your partner’s sexual needs there is a possibility that someone else will.