Dear Maurice,
I will narrate my story then I would like your view of why my relationship has not worked as I had planned.
I met this guy in February 2011 and fell for him within a week of meeting him. I then proceeded to date him officially after we had a casual relationship for one month. He was the perfect guy, he was sincere and straight forward. He is also very 
handsome and he knows it. I made him into what he is today but last year in December I witnessed a serious change in his behaviour and the signs of cheating were so obvious. I have given him everything, my heart, my soul, my womanhood, I even bought and furnished his apartment including a showroom car. I expanded his business which was not doing so well when we met but at the time he was worth the investment. You see, I have money. I am a self made successful business woman and by the time I met this guy I had dated very rich men who’s only motive was to impress me or so they thought and get laid. After a while I stopped dating those high class corporate times and went for character instead. How do you explain when you elevate a man financially and love him for him unconditionally then out of the blue his focus on me which was so consistent changes without notice?
Maurice asks,
Where did you meet this guy, what was the setting?
She replies,
We met at a friend’s low key house party. I am not a party animal so clubs are not my thing. I prefer a setting where you can meet new people mingle and network and hopefully meet a man. I am not naive so I know that the first contact for a man usually comes with sexual desire so casual sex can always be part of the menu. Lucky for him I had intentions that night and when we got chatting I knew I was going to fuck him that night. If I recall we had sex everyday for six weeks. It was intense and he was and still is a great lover.
Maurice asks,
After how long did he qualify for refurbishment and a new car?
She replies,
I did up his apartment over a period but I think I started on our second month of dating. I bought him his BMW on our first anniversary.
Maurice asks,
Why a BMW?
She replies,
Because I love European cars. I also drive one.
Maurice replies,
Are you Kenyan? I ask because you have invested a lot in this man and from experience I have not witnessed that many Kenyan women invest in a man to that extent. In most cases I receive, its normally complaints in relations to a man’s lack of societal duty to provide for his woman. I sense you do not share that mindset.
She replies,
Yes I am Kenyan, brought up in Karen. Like I said, I have dated an array of men, very wealthy men but in my case it was based on my social circles where I networked to make a living. I was not after money I have my own. I was after a man with substance, a man who can add value to my life especially emotionally and as a bonus I wished for good sex which I found in this guy but I am perplexed in what made him change!
Maurice asks,
Have you confronted him about his change in character?
She replies,
Not yet. I am a very patient woman. I observe first then react later after I have the facts.
Maurice asks,
What have been your findings?
She replies,
I know he is seeing another woman. I have trailed him for the last 4 months. He only meets her on Tuesdays between noon and 4pm. He has been consistent. He must have told her that he is in a relationship for that arrangement to work. I am a practical woman, rarely do I allow emotions to cloud logic. I want to know what she is giving him for him to jeopardise what we have.
Maurice asks,
When you met him was he the kind of guy who women flocked around and even when things were fine between you would he flirt or crave attention from other women to boost his ego?
She replies,
If you are asking if he is the play boy type then yes he is but we had an agreement that if things were going to work between us he could socialize with women but not touch. Until late last year he has been by my side and that is why I need answers. We have traveled the World together whether business or pleasure and shared the most magical moments so I don’t get it, why would he be seeking sexually pleasures elsewhere? If I wronged him why not just tell me so we can fix it?
Maurice asks,
How old are you both and how old is the woman he is seeing, if you happened to know that is?
She replies,
He is 32 and I am 35. The woman he is seeing is 39 and she is married. I even know where she works, lives and all I need to know about her family. I should have mentioned, despite his infidelity his sexual desire for me has not changed.
Maurice asks,
In reference to his apartment, do you live apart and where does he meet her on Tuesdays?
She replies,
Yes we do live apart but most of the week he spends at my home, which was my idea because my home is my comfort zone. They meet in a Hotel in Westlands near where she works.
Maurice asks,
Do you by any chance know what she does for a living?
She replies,
Yes, she is top management in a blue chip company.
Maurice asks,
Do you see where I am going with this line of questioning?
She replies,
Maybe but do indulge me with your analyses.
Maurice replies,
It would been easier to profile him and your relationship if we could have a session but based on the information you have provided my profile is rather simple. You may be dating a cunning social predator, they are usually alphas, they are patient, calculative and unlike your general pool of men who I call ‘men of strategy’, they are usually well equipt in the art of seduction and sexual prowess. I am only speculating but I can bet that when you met him he was in his late twenties with a business that was not doing so well but keeping appearances in a lavish or semi lavish suburb, am I on the right track?
She replies,
Yes you are. So what does this all mean, are you men not all predators?
Maurice replies,
Well, we may all possess an animal like instinct to prey on women for one reason or another but clearly some of us have to up our game, change our tact so we can gain a BMW and an apartment. Humour aside, I strongly believe that you were his first successful conquest to acquire assets. It is not uncommon to find men who harness their social skills to prey on women from as early as 19 years of age. These are men who have decided to use their alpha charm to sweep you off your feet and are great at mastering the art of illusion. They will make you feed off a false sense of love and care. Their lure is intoxicating and drives you to open more than just your legs. Your vagina is usually the cinnamon crumble on the big pie which is his ultimate achievement.
She replies,
If that is the case then why has he not moved on to the next victim?
Maurice replies,
Despite his predatory trait, you are his ground zero. There are attributes he loves about you which in relation to men is not accidental or odd. Men in general are conditional lovers. We respond well to women who stimulate us and tirelessly sooth our ego. But that stimulus only applies if the man finds compatibility in the woman.
She replies,
Are you trying to say that in his own way he is in love with me?
Maurice replies,
I am not trying, that is exactly what I am saying. You are the chocolate factory in which he has pitched tent. We are wired different, we categories emotions and actions, the two are not packaged together in the context of men. This guy is doing what comes naturally to women, what many societies today perceive as the norm in the context of women. It stops being the norm when the gender changes.
She replies,
I thought alphas were dedicated loyal men as well as being extremely forward?
Maurice replies,
The distinct insignia of your type of alpha is his trait, yes he is an alpha but his character is driven by his objectives to acquire at par with his other objective to sustain his ability to keep you in a maze of seduction.
She replies,
For once I am speechless.
Maurice asks,
What is your next move now that you understand who you are dealing with?
She replies,
Maurice, I am a business woman, he has been and still is my investment and after your disclosure, like in business I am going to re-strategize, how I am not sure but what I do know is that I am not quitting. You have equipt me with crucial information that will inevitably streamline my relationship or so I hope.
Maurice replies,
Here’s a tip, now that you know what drives him, what is known as man’s best friend and why would that best friend eat at the neighbour’s.
She replies,
Pedigree, got you 🙂
Maurice replies,
Exactly.
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