mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I need your help. I am in-love with my girl but she keeps hurting me.

Maurice asks,

What is going on?

He replies,

I met her over a year ago and fell for her. I have dated several women but this has changed me completely.

Maurice asks,

What do you mean by ‘changed you’?

He replies,

I was a bit of a player and never once did I feel what I feel for my girl. I want to marry her but as things stand I am upset with her. When we met she was very attentive to me as her man but know I have noticed since December she has divided her attention.

Maurice replies,

Are you implying that she is double dating?

He replies,

She hangs out with my boys a lot and I understand that she at times wants space from me, she outlined this to me when were first met so it is no surprise.

Maurice replies,

I am sensing there’s more to this story.

He replies,

In late November she had traveled to the Coast with a few close pals and on return I heard hurtful stories that I just brushed off. She is a beautiful Welsh girl and gets hit on by men wherever we go but I trusted her not to fall for another.

Maurice asks,

What were you told about the Coast trip?

He replies,

A friend who was there confirmed that she had a weekend fling with one of my friends.

Maurice asks,

Have you confronted your friend and what did he say?

He replies,

That’s the thing Maurice it’s not a he it’s a she. I have known her for 8 years since we were in high school, I never thought she would stab me in the back.

Maurice asks,

How old are you and your girl?

He replies,

I am 24 and she is 23. I am wondering why she even agreed to travel if she was not interested in a relationship with me.

Maurice asks,

Who traveled where, please expound?

He replies,

I met my girl online and we got chatting for 5 months and during that time I hinted that I would fly her over to visit in October and if we hit it off we could have a future together.

Maurice asks,

What was your girlfriend doing before she flew over to visit you?

He replies,

She was doing temp work with an agency so I offered her the opportunity to visit Kenya.

Maurice asks,

Do you work?

He replies,

Yes, I work for my Dad.

Maurice asks,

Is your Dad aware that you have invited a girl, who in my opinion you hardly know, in the intention of marrying her based on a foundation that was formed via social media?

He replies,

That is not relevant.

Maurice replies,

If you need my honest opinion lets make it relevant.

He replies,

I told my Dad that she is a good friend visiting Kenya. He is ok with it. She is staying with me at my apartment.

Maurice asks,

Despite what she is alleged to have done, for how long will you sell the friend angle to your father…. until her visa expires perhaps?

He replies,

I will cross that bridge when the time comes. Right now I want your advice on what I should do?

Maurice asks,

What is your gut telling you?

He replies,

That I love her very much and I want to marry her. I am upset but maybe I should accept that her culture.

Maurice replies,

Not every white girl sleeps with women so it has nothing to do with culture. My good man I believe this girl is beyond your wildest dreams and you just can’t let go of her. She may be a new favour in your young life and trust me I understand what that can do to a young man but please face the facts that will befall you. You say you want to marry her, have you any idea what that translates to. Will you be exclusive to her for the rest of your life? Are you ready to have a wife, a woman you see every single day and at your age there goes your chance to enjoy dating multiple women before you can embark on marriage. Are you ready to be a Dad to a child or children and provide for them for 18 years+ before they eventually fly the nest?

He replies,

I will not know until I try.

Maurice replies,

This is not like drive testing a new car. This is some serious commitment. You may have the finances to have fun with her for the next 20 years but marriage is a totally different ball game. The social element that makes her attractive to you right now is the fact you are in control and what you have is based on having fun, no demanding responsibilities attached. Hosting her, feeding her, being a tour guide and going clubbing does not count.

She came over to have fun and that may involve exploring her sexual desires that you may not agree with. If I were you I would take a chill pill and enjoy the rest of her visit.

Try getting to know her, the real her. Does she have a bi curious or bisexual nature? As general talk ask her what marriage means to her. If you do keep in-touch after she has gone back home and your connection is still strong then the future will tell but for now get to know her. You invited her over so be the bigger man and do not spoil her holiday with a Spanish inquisition.

He replies,

Thanks Maurice.

—————————————————————————————————

I am seeking contacts in other parts of the Country apart from Nairobi. If you live outside Nairobi and are interested in helping me organise sessions please email me…. maurice_concepts@yahoo.co.uk

I am looking forward to the Mombasa session in March.

Read Full Post »

Dear Maurice,

I pray that it is not the end of the road for my marriage. I have been a foolish wife for a while and it’s taken a rift between my husband and I for me to notice that things have really gone downhill. We have only been married for 2 years after dating for just over a year. We are both young professionals with years of opportunities ahead of us but now I fear that I am going to lose my husband.

Maurice asks,

Let’s take one step at a time, what did you do to warrant losing your husband?

She replies,

Over the last year I have been made aware by my husband that I have neglected him in so many ways, he sat me down a week ago and listed all the things that I have said and done to hurt him. I was shocked because he had taken time to note them down. He narrated to me the various scenarios that took place over the year and how I reacted or ignored his opinions. He said that more than once, if anything countless times he attempted to establish cordial dialogue with me but I just ignored him. I then made things worse when I started to go on the defense to try and counter his claims. He then stopped talking and walked away, I know my husband, he never backs down that easily so the minute he did I knew he was hurting. I saw it right there before me and instead of going to comfort him my pride overrode my initial instinct.

Maurice asks,

When you say he walked away what do you mean?

She replies,

Without my knowledge or rather in my ignorance, he packed a few clothes and waiting for morning in the pretext of going to work as usual he never came back that evening. At around 6pm he sent me a text on my phone saying that I should check my mail.

Maurice asks,

So did you?

She replies,

Yes I did. I opened my mail and found what seemed to be an autobiography of all the negatives I had caused that affected him emotionally.

Maurice replies,

So you believe that there is some truth in what he wrote?

She replies,

I read it 4 times looking for something that did not make sense only to find that I was to some degree guilty and had overlooked my conduct towards him and it lead to bruising his ego and denting his status as a man within our home. I take responsibility and I need a solution, how do I get him back home?

Maurice replies,

Firstly, I am glad that you take responsibility; you now need to repeatedly affirm to your husband via mail for now. Whether he response or not the crucial thing is that he receives your sincere apology until he feels that he can trust you, right now you are a negative factor in his life, however his perception of you will change as he regains his manly status and truly believes that you are sorry for neglecting him. Secondly as you mend bridges it will be prudent to discuss how to limit such incidences in the future and forge a mutual bond to never fall in that predicament again.

Read Full Post »

Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 4 years, I am 26 and a house wife. We have one child, a baby girl who is 2 years old. I am not happy in my marriage and I haven’t been for some years. I have turned to friends and family but in short they all tell me to stick the stormy weather. But my question is, I should stick it out until when. I really do not feel like I am in a relationship leave alone a marriage. My husband from the beginning was a very stubborn man, a man’s man kind of guy, his characteristics were very attractive to me when I met him 6 years ago but now he is not just stubborn but he is selfish, inconsiderate and not at all loving towards me.

Maurice replies,

Please expound on his current behavior. And if I may ask does he provide for you as he is supposed to?

She replies,

I am glad you asked. My husband despite being a man who earns a lot of money has to be reminded that he has a baby to feed. Sometime he will leave enough cash to buy milk and bread, how do I feed and cater for our baby’s needs on that budget, secondly how do I sustain our home on those kind of budget yet this is a man who can comfortable afford to spend on expensive outings and holidays whenever he feels like. Let’s just say if he leaves ksh1,000 for food Christmas must have come early. I have really struggled with my sanity. I am also suspecting him of cheating on me. He did it once and I forgave him but in the last 5 months he has been coming home late.

Maurice asks,

When did he last come home late and what was his excuse?

She replies,

Last week, on a week day he got home at 6:30am. Having not slept the whole night with worry about his safety, I asked him where he had been and why would he come home in the morning? He replied that he had gotten so drunk that he could not drive. I then asked him where he slept. He said he managed to drive to their work’s car park and he slept in the car. What a lame excuse if you ask me. Could he not get a cab home? I may be 14 years younger than him but I am no fool. My question to you Maurice, is there a chance that he will change his ways and be fully committed to his family and did he ever love me? One of the reasons I married him was because I thought he was a much older responsible mature man who had overcome boyish behavior but clearly not.

Maurice replies,

There’s a misconception that men naturally become more responsible with age, this is incorrect. The truth is, older men have experience and with that wisdom and knowledge of life they are more equipt to make choices. Men do not change or shed skin and become reborn, they just have the ability to make the right or wrong choice. In my opinion your husband was most likely not ready to have a family that he can commit to fully. He may have found the idea of having a family positively stimulating but it is a whole other kettle of fish to actual provide for a family. Tell him how you really feel and what your expectations are considering you have a child and ask him if both of you can receive some counseling.

Read Full Post »

Dear Maurice,

I have a serious issue with my husband and it’s causing frequent arguments in our homestead. To make it worst we are exposing our 2 kids to negativity. I have tried to shield my kids over the years but things have gotten worse and my kids are no fools they can see what is going on between me and their father.

Maurice asks,

So what is this issue and for how long has it dragged on for?

She replies,

Well, let me start by telling you that I have been married for 11 years, I am 34 with 7 and 8 year old. Their Dad is 41 heading 20 because he still behaves as if he is in his early 20’s. It all started when I was pregnant with my first born. There was a sudden change in character, my husband in my opinion became or chose to be irresponsible. Always coming home late, and when I say late I mean 2am, 4am, and despite coming home so late he would insist not to be bothered with my questioning after all he provides and he always reminded me that he is the sole provider in our home and he does a good job of it, so he should not be faced with my questioning. Over the years he has made it very clear that he is the alpha omega in our home and that I should not dare interfere with his social life, at times he even calls it his private life. What kind of a husband would talk to his wife he that manner and I often ask myself what I saw in him 14 years ago. I want to leave him if am honest.

Maurice replies,

You seem to have made up your mind considering what you have gone through, so how can I be of assistance?

She replies,

It has been confirmed that my husband’s latest victim is my sibling sister, she is 23, has always admired my husband but I did not anticipate his lure and charm to work on her.

Maurice asks,

Are you saying your sister has confessed to having an affair with your husband?

She replies,

Yes she confessed and she had no apologises to make, she told me that she understood him better than I ever did. I threatened to expose her to our parents and extended family but that did not faze her at the slightest.

Maurice asks,

What does your husband say regarding their affair?

She replies,

He has denied it. He says that in the past they have flirted ‘only’ and that it must be a practical joke. As if flirting is any better, can you counsel my sister in my presence? I need you to drive it through her thick skull that there’s no future with my so called husband, can you please help?

Maurice replies,

Yes I can help however it’s going to be a tall order to get your sister to attend the session. What I recommend is that I get to speak to her via phone first. Once I establish a baseline with her she may feel comfortable to meet me so she can voice her side of the story. If she feels that we are ganging up against her, our efforts will be futile.

Read Full Post »

Dear Maurice,

I met my husband 23 years ago when we both had nothing in regards to what people call wealth. He lived in a small studio flat and so did I. We hardly made ends meet after every pay cheque but somehow we pulled through. It was after knowing each other for 4 years that we finally decided to live together and strive for success. We both had a passion for success and we both embarked on a path that could lead us in that direction. We attained our master’s degrees and with God’s blessings our life’s gradually changed for the better. It’s like every dream we had was unfolding as the years went by. Within no time we were living in our own home, a beautiful home. We started a family, we have 2 kids that we dearly love and have given them the best in terms of education and we have a strong bond with them. Neither I nor my husband had that bond with our parents so we thought we would be different. I believe we have achieved that with our kids. However, after that colourful narration of our life’s journey my husband recently shocked me with words he uttered and I am hurt.

Maurice asks,

What was it that hurt you?

We both do well at work and we live a very comfortable life, the issue which according to me is a none issue and that over the years we have shared about our finances; individual and joint investments. What I am trying to say is that my husband and I over a decade ago agreed that despite being a couple we would both have individually owned assets. Couples normally do not discuss eventualities of life like break ups but we did and we agreed we would both be financially secure just in-case our relationship came to an end. Anyway, what hurt me was that my husband eventually admitted that he has been cold towards me for the last year because he feels since my promotion at work I have become the man of the house and that I am never there for him as his wife. He said money has changed me and that he feels irrelevant in our home despite being the provider.

Maurice asks,

Are you saying that you earn more than your husband?

She replies,

Yes I do, much more. And like I said earlier we both do well but because I have a bigger salary it has caused a rift in our home, we are both wealthy with plenty of assets. My husband has always supported my career growth at work so where is all this coming from?

Maurice replies,

Since your promotion has your marital quality time at home changed and is your work keeping you away from home more than usual?

She replies,

I guess our time together has slightly changed but we still make time for each other. Yes my work is now demanding in the office, many late hours and corporate functions.

Maurice replies,

I believe that is your primary problem. Your husband has over time noticed that your quality time has dwindled and that has led him to feel neglected and despite your agreement his ego is most likely bruised by your promotion and the fact that you spend more time with your colleagues than with him. It’s common with some men, he is just feeling threatened and he needs constant affirmation from you that you love him and that he will always be the man of the house. Unless there’s more he is not revealing, your husband just needs some tender loving care, ego boosting once in a while. Everyman has a little boy within him that needs that attention so give it to him. That’s my advise to you.

———————————————————————————————–

In life you have a choice. To apply as much time and effort into your relationship as you do for your boss/company or else watch your relationship wither. From Monday to Friday the average working hours excluding other appointments is 40 hours. The quality time spent as a couple during the week is between 10 hours to 20 hours, that is less than a whole day. Make the right choice and make time for love.

Read Full Post »

Dear Maurice,

I have quite the story to tell you so I hope you can bear with me as I try to narrate my life experience in marriage for the last 21 years. May I begin by informing you that I am 41 and my husband is 54 years old. I was married after dropping out of school 2 years prior. I met my husband and he took me under his wings and made me feel that I could make something of my life. He paid for my higher education and I eventually gained a under grad degree. That was my stepping stone and I will never fault him for that. He gave me an opportunity while my family gave up on me or were more interested in educating the boys, my brothers. My father never saw the value of educating a girl hence why I fought back and eventually left school after being demoralized. Any way, 2 years into our marriage my husband had an affair or what he calls a one month fling and I took time but eventually forgave him. However during his one month thrill he managed to get the woman pregnant, it was a tough time but we dealt with it the best we could.

Maurice asks,

So what is the current problem in your marriage?

She replies,

Not long ago I went through my husband’s phone and called all the suspicious sms chats. My investigation unfortunately revealed that he has been having  multiple affairs, so far I know of 6 women and one of the women shared with me that she has been in his life for 18 years and they share one child.  In short he caters for her every need as if  she was his wife. I asked her how she could do that to me, she replied that she has no ‘beef’ with me but my husband availed himself to her and she took her opportunity.

I actually believed that his cheating days were over, I have been a dedicated wife limiting my career advancements to play the good wife role and for what! Only to be stabbed in the back by the man who professes everyday to love me. Six years ago he bought himself a flashy car that suits our sons. Is this midlife crisis or is this a man who married to fulfill a societal requirement?

Maurice asks,

Despite what you know, how do you still feel about your husband?

She replies,

I am a realist, I am too old, so I think, to move on and start all over again, but how do I live with such a man? To answer your question, I care about my husband very much but the love factor has fizzled out.  Maurice what is the way forward for me?

Maurice replies,

My dear it’s never too late to try love again however I am not saying you should leave your marriage. But I must quote you, you say love has completely fizzled for you, which leads me to state, there’s no real marriage if love is the lacking ingredient. That is more of an existence in marriage. Personally I do not foresee an avenue for improvement in your marriage. If indeed you are independent you need to think about you, be selfish for once, life is too short to waste it on emotional energies that won’t be fruitful. You may end up in a lonely place for awhile but at least you will have a settled state of mind in time. Seek for happiness within you first before you seek it from others otherwise you will be in the rat race of depression. A new beginning is what I advise.

————————————————————————————————–

To my readers, for those inquiring about the handcuff set, french maid and nurse outfit please call Mary on 0731 495 485. She still has stock.

————————————————————————————————–

February session bookings

I have always followed a first come first serve policy but I can only allocate date and time slots to those who pay their confirmation deposit. I highlight this because I currently have tentative bookings for the same dates. I do not want to disappoint anyone so please confirm your bookings.

Oh, I am looking forward to my Nyeri session in February.

Read Full Post »

Dear Maurice,

I really need your honest opinion on current occurrences in my life. Probably calling them current is not entirely correct but there’s been a gradual escalation which has caused me to suspect my husband.

Maurice asks,

What have you noticed about your husband?

She replies,

Let me start from the beginning. We have been married for 9 years; we are heading towards our 10^th anniversary in October this year however something tells me we will not be celebrating our milestone. I have known my husband for 12 years and I never thought he would put me through my current emotional state. Anyway let me continue. Two years ago my husband was transferred from Nairobi to Kisumu, to his home town, which was somewhat a delight for him but hard on me. I never envisioned being apart from my husband and it’s also hard on our 4 kids. We take turns to visit each other but I guess he does most of the traveling to see me and the kids.

About a year ago I traveled to Kisumu, actually it was around end of January last year. I was there for a weekend; I needed the quality time with him. Yet while I was there I can attest to having spent a good portion of the weekend waiting for him to come home. In short it felt like a wasted journey. While he was away from the house I decided to snoop around though at the time it was more like cleaning up and assessing how he lives away from his family. I happened to have come across certain items or should I call them garments that did not belong to me, evidently they were feminine so I wondered where they had come from. I found a pair of panties and they looked recently washed. One was in the bathroom and the other in a drawer in the guest room.

Maurice asks,

Did you confront your husband about what you had found?

She replies,

Yes I did, but before we go on let me tell you that I also noticed that the kitchen had a woman’s touch, I can’t be certain but my instincts are usually right. Something felt a miss. Back to your question, when I confronted him he said they belonged to his female cousin who had been coming over to keep him company. The thing is, we speak everyday on phone and not once did he ever tell me that he had a visitor. Since then other occurrences have been him not picking his phone when I call him, his phone being off followed by a multitude of excuses that don’t add up. When I try and ask his family members they all seem to be protecting him. I am a Taita woman and I would hate to believe that my husband is adopting the stereo type lifestyle I have heard about over the years. I can forgive him but I want to know, is he possibly cheating on me?

Maurice replies,

Yes there is a possibility that he is cheating or has cheated in the past but you need to out rightly ask him in person if he is having an affair or has he ever had one. Tell him that he owes you the truth and that you can possibly forgive him so that you can move from this point. If he persists to refute your suspicion then you need to take each day as it comes. Stressing yourself with ‘what if’ possibilities will not do you any good. Eventually the truth will come out, it always does.

Read Full Post »

Dear Maurice,

I have very concerned about the future of my marriage due to specific promises that were made to me by my husband. I met my husband 13 years ago; we have been married for over 6 years now.  We have no kids yet at my age I think I should be well into my 2^nd child by now. I am 35 and my husband is 38.

Maurice asks,

Is there a particular reason why you have not started a family?

She replies,

My husband and I decided not to have kids till we felt we were financially stable enough to raise 3 kids. Our set deadline lapsed 2 years ago and he has never mentioned having kids, not even once since our mutual agreement.

Maurice asks,

Is not having a child the main issue you have with your husband?

She replies,

That is only one issue. The other is his lack of drive to upgrade our lifestyle. We have been living in a 2 bedroom house in Eastlands yet he assured me years ago that by now we would be living in a more affluent area. I have no apologies to make for wanting to move up in life, I want to achieve certain goals and I feel my husband is not reading from the same book. The only positive is that he has invested in a school fund for our children.

Maurice asks,

For how long has he been saving towards that school fund and have you seen the statements?

She replies,

Yes I have seen the statements and he has been saving for the last 6 years.

Maurice asks,

When was the last time you spoke to him about starting a family and what was his response?

She replies,

To be honest I haven’t brought up the topic for years because I expected him as the man to initiate and show me the signs of wanting to be a father. I have been hoping to get pregnant but it has not happened over the years. It does not help that we agreed long ago that on my risky days we use condoms.

Maurice replies,

So, on the part of saving for your future kids I believe you can agree that your husband is playing his part, so may I ask is your issue related to your ambition to move to, as you call it, an affluent area?

She replies,

There’s that issue but still I don’t understand why he does not mention having kids, he behaves as if he has no plans for kids, that bothers me a lot. Has he changed his mind or is he hesitant to have kids?

Maurice replies,

It would not be logical for a man to sustain a school fund if he had no plans to have kids. I believe your problem as a couple is the lack of communication and too much dependence on personal expectations. You need to revisit your goals and also revive the plans of having a family. You’re in a partnership so it’s only common sense to voice out rather than hope that your spouse will instinctively deliver on your expectations. Stop tip toeing around each other and sit down and assess your future together and come to some mutual understanding then action your plans. There might also be an underlining medical reason to why you have not been able to conceive after all these years so please both of you consult with a specialist. This is my advice to you at this juncture.

Read Full Post »

Dear Maurice,

I need you to shed some light on a situation that has befallen me. I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years. We met when I moved into the same apartment block 6 years ago. I was then dating someone else but that ended when she flew abroad. After almost 6 years of knowing each other she betrays me.

Maurice replies,

What happened?

He replies,

When I moved into the same residential block she was then dating some guy who got her pregnant twice and each time he forced her to abort over a period of 3 years. The guy also cheated on her with another girl who lived in the same apartment block. Despite how he mistreated her she was in-love with him and she was very honest about that from the word go. She said when I came along I made her feel safe and loved. We were friends for close to 2 years before we started dating. I should have known better.

Maurice asks,

Why do you say that?

He replies,

Because I have proposed to her twice and she has always wiggled out of accepting my hand in marriage. It has been one excuse after the other but am still here.

Maurice asks,

Why are you still there for her?

He replies,

Because I love her.

Maurice asks,

Why her?

He replies,

It is a feeling that I can’t explain in words, I just breath and live for her. It has been a long journey to reach where we are so I don’t understand why she has made the decision to leave.

Maurice asks,

Where has she gone and what led her to leave?

He replies,

She fell ill and was admitted for 3 weeks. Within that time her ex heard she was sick and paid her a visit which led him to brain washing her into believing he was a changed man and somehow he won her heart back. I can’t make sense of her reaction towards him. Four months after leaving hospital and being by her bedside, she told me to my face that she was leaving me and it was not about me but her. I declined her request to let her go peacefully and dug deeper then she told me that her ex has always been her soul mate.  She cut me deep when she admitted that her ex has all along been out of sight but not out of mind. Maurice how can a human being after 4 great years just wake up one day and decide to over turn your World and in the process break your heart. I do not think I can accept any explanation but I want to hear your take on my situation.

Looking back I have given her everything she ever asked for. She always said she was happy and content with me as her man. She has always been my priority above all. I provided for her, I took her out everywhere I went, I bought her a car, I invested in multiple projects in her name and I am currently building what I thought was going to be our home, so why can she make such a sudden move and walk away after 4 years? That idiot never invested in her and he spent most of their relationship feeding off her. How can she settle for less, how can this be possible?

Maurice replies,

Based on what she told you it is clear that she never really moved on from her ex. Unfortunately a loved one can throw at you a scenario that makes no sense what so ever. The truth is, even though many couples can be happy together, there’s always the chance that one person in that relationship was destined to leave one day, the only thing you probably did over the years is slow down the inevitable. There are things in life that are out of our control. It defeats all logic that you have been there for her then she chooses to leave you for the one man who mistreated her. Again, unfortunately for you ‘logic’ in many cases does not apply when it comes to matters of the heart. I am sure you have a million questions and trying to make sense of it all will just stress you so try not to overload your mind.

Read Full Post »

Dear Maurice,

I am currently feeling like I am trapped between a rock and hard place. I have discovered something that has distorted the way I perceive my marriage status in terms of mental stability as a wife.

Maurice replies,

Please do share.

She replies,

Where do I start, well I have been married to what I thought was an honest responsible man but evidently after what I have uncovered he is definitely not honest unless the meaning as changed. I am stressed, I am angry and I need you to make sense of this situation for me. My husband of 9 years was once married for 12 years then he divorced his wife under reconcilable differences.  He spent 3 years as a single man and played the field as he once put it until he met me and fell in-love with me. Within a span of 2 years we were married. In case you are wondering my husband is 51 and I am 38.

Maurice replies,

If I may stop you there, does your husband run two families?

She replies,

Yes he does and that is connected to my predicament. At the end of November last year, we visited his other family for one of the kid’s birthday.

Maurice asks,

How many kids does your husband have with you and with his ex wife?

She replies,

We have 2 kids, our youngest is 6 years. He had 3 kids with his ex and when she also found love again she had one more child though she is not married to her current partner.

Maurice asks,

So what happened at the birthday?

She replies,

I happened to be chatting with his ex wife, whom I kind of hate but pretend to like over the years, about the kids and we got talking about the similarities between the kids and their fathers. That’s when I saw something suspicious in her reaction as we spoke about her last born. It got me thinking whether it was really her partner’s child or not.

Maurice asks,

So what did you do?

She replies,

I couldn’t ask her because I had a feeling after knowing her for years that she would not be candid with me so I waited till we got back home and I tricked my husband into confessing by implying I already knew his secret with his ex wife, it was a gamble but it paid off. He opened up with all the guilt painted on his face. He tried to explain that it was a one off just over 3 years ago and that there’s no affair going on.

Maurice replies,

Almost 8 weeks after your revelation you are still living under the same roof I assume, and if so what clarification do you seek?

She replies,

How can I trust him, why couldn’t he tell me, yes I would have been mad but I would have made thinks work due to his honesty?

Maurice replies,

Based on your somewhat calm reaction and ability to forgive I feel as if you either expected or were ready for any future revelations as the one that haunts you now. I believe you know that you want to sustain your marriage but seek an apology that makes sense. Let me tell you, no sincere apology will make sense to you. Your husband defiled his vows and the question now is, are you willing to leave him or are you staying? We both know your answer so I advise that you find closure on that matter and find the strength to seal the past and concentrate on your future. Remember, if the truth came out two families would bear the suffering, and is it really worth all that pain and disorder especially for the kids. I think not.

Read Full Post »