mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I really need your honest opinion on current occurrences in my life. Probably calling them current is not entirely correct but there’s been a gradual escalation which has caused me to suspect my husband.

Maurice asks,

What have you noticed about your husband?

She replies,

Let me start from the beginning. We have been married for 9 years; we are heading towards our 10^th anniversary in October this year however something tells me we will not be celebrating our milestone. I have known my husband for 12 years and I never thought he would put me through my current emotional state. Anyway let me continue. Two years ago my husband was transferred from Nairobi to Kisumu, to his home town, which was somewhat a delight for him but hard on me. I never envisioned being apart from my husband and it’s also hard on our 4 kids. We take turns to visit each other but I guess he does most of the traveling to see me and the kids.

About a year ago I traveled to Kisumu, actually it was around end of January last year. I was there for a weekend; I needed the quality time with him. Yet while I was there I can attest to having spent a good portion of the weekend waiting for him to come home. In short it felt like a wasted journey. While he was away from the house I decided to snoop around though at the time it was more like cleaning up and assessing how he lives away from his family. I happened to have come across certain items or should I call them garments that did not belong to me, evidently they were feminine so I wondered where they had come from. I found a pair of panties and they looked recently washed. One was in the bathroom and the other in a drawer in the guest room.

Maurice asks,

Did you confront your husband about what you had found?

She replies,

Yes I did, but before we go on let me tell you that I also noticed that the kitchen had a woman’s touch, I can’t be certain but my instincts are usually right. Something felt a miss. Back to your question, when I confronted him he said they belonged to his female cousin who had been coming over to keep him company. The thing is, we speak everyday on phone and not once did he ever tell me that he had a visitor. Since then other occurrences have been him not picking his phone when I call him, his phone being off followed by a multitude of excuses that don’t add up. When I try and ask his family members they all seem to be protecting him. I am a Taita woman and I would hate to believe that my husband is adopting the stereo type lifestyle I have heard about over the years. I can forgive him but I want to know, is he possibly cheating on me?

Maurice replies,

Yes there is a possibility that he is cheating or has cheated in the past but you need to out rightly ask him in person if he is having an affair or has he ever had one. Tell him that he owes you the truth and that you can possibly forgive him so that you can move from this point. If he persists to refute your suspicion then you need to take each day as it comes. Stressing yourself with ‘what if’ possibilities will not do you any good. Eventually the truth will come out, it always does.