Dear Maurice,
I have very concerned about the future of my marriage due to specific promises that were made to me by my husband. I met my husband 13 years ago; we have been married for over 6 years now. We have no kids yet at my age I think I should be well into my 2nd child by now. I am 35 and my husband is 38.
Maurice asks,
Is there a particular reason why you have not started a family?
She replies,
My husband and I decided not to have kids till we felt we were financially stable enough to raise 3 kids. Our set deadline lapsed 2 years ago and he has never mentioned having kids, not even once since our mutual agreement.
Maurice asks,
Is not having a child the main issue you have with your husband?
She replies,
That is only one issue. The other is his lack of drive to upgrade our lifestyle. We have been living in a 2 bedroom house in Eastlands yet he assured me years ago that by now we would be living in a more affluent area. I have no apologies to make for wanting to move up in life, I want to achieve certain goals and I feel my husband is not reading from the same book. The only positive is that he has invested in a school fund for our children.
Maurice asks,
For how long has he been saving towards that school fund and have you seen the statements?
She replies,
Yes I have seen the statements and he has been saving for the last 6 years.
Maurice asks,
When was the last time you spoke to him about starting a family and what was his response?
She replies,
To be honest I haven’t brought up the topic for years because I expected him as the man to initiate and show me the signs of wanting to be a father. I have been hoping to get pregnant but it has not happened over the years. It does not help that we agreed long ago that on my risky days we use condoms.
Maurice replies,
So, on the part of saving for your future kids I believe you can agree that your husband is playing his part, so may I ask is your issue related to your ambition to move to, as you call it, an affluent area?
She replies,
There’s that issue but still I don’t understand why he does not mention having kids, he behaves as if he has no plans for kids, that bothers me a lot. Has he changed his mind or is he hesitant to have kids?
Maurice replies,
It would not be logical for a man to sustain a school fund if he had no plans to have kids. I believe your problem as a couple is the lack of communication and too much dependence on personal expectations. You need to revisit your goals and also revive the plans of having a family. You’re in a partnership so it’s only common sense to voice out rather than hope that your spouse will instinctively deliver on your expectations. Stop tip toeing around each other and sit down and assess your future together and come to some mutual understanding then action your plans. There might also be an underlining medical reason to why you have not been able to conceive after all these years so please both of you consult with a specialist. This is my advice to you at this juncture.
mauricetherapy 
Married for 17 years, what I learned about myself as a man is that our instincts have nothing to do with nest building. That is the role of women around the world, clever ones know how to push us men, the other side of the coin are women like this one who complain when their role has been so clearly defined by their nature.
Good advise but it is so obvious, how could she not know. Common sense is not that common.
Hey, I find this rather abnormal but I may be wrong Maurice, Could it be that the man has other kids elswhere and hence the saving. Or maybe he doesnt want Kkids at all and the saving is just a means to gather capital they need to move up in future…
This woman should just get pregnant, she is the one who is in control of her body and that natural stage in life. If she is ready let her communicate this to her man, that she wants them to start a family. She’s not getting any younger and her clock is ticking. If he didn’t want kids at all that would be a different story, but they had kids in their future plans, maybe that is what will drive him even harder in achieving their goals, when he actually knows there’s a child on the way who’ll be dependent on him.