mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I am 24 years old. I do not have much experience with men but I have been told that I am bootilicious and curvy. Recently a man that I had only met a week ago and only had dinner with him once told me he would love it if I talked dirty to him during sex. He said he would especially love it if I called him daddy. I was taken back by his request, not because he wanted me to talk dirty because I’m shy and it might be awkward at first to do it. However the thing that shocked me was him wanting me to call him daddy during sex. I know a lot of people call their lovers daddy in the bedroom but for me I automatically think of a father figure and the last thing I want to think about when I’m romping in the sheets is my dad. I’m I over thinking this request?

Maurice replies,

Yes, you are. There are plenty of people around the World who use ‘who’s your daddy’ in bed, for many its a turn on however there are women who find it a turn off. Dirt talk is just a way to trigger certain feelings that enhance sex. Nothing to be shy or shocked about.

She replies,

Thanks Maurice. I believe that in order to keep a man interested you must do what he wants you to do in bed. You have to be the girlfriend, the wife and mistress all in one. Can calling your lover ‘daddy’ refer to his reproductive nature, like you’re saying you could see him as a father to your children?

Maurice replies,

Not at all. And if you intend to keep this man interested in you, considering you only just met him, you should stay clear from mentioning anything linked to baby making. And I hope you are playing safe between the sheets with this man.

She replies,

Yes I am. He said he wanted to have my baby while he was cumming. He then kissed me passionately and held me till morning.

Maurice replies,

It is a feel good statement, as a man cums he is filled with an incredible urge to turn into Clark Kent, at that point he will say anything that gives him a sense of power. “Honey your sweat smells of tulips” is not sexy and that is why statements made by a man during sex usually conflict with the aftermath reality of a woman.

“I want to have your baby” is in most cases a mental power trip, a statement that defines manhood at that short lived moment. Unfortunately women tend to mentally record the whole sex session and play back the minutes to men.

She replies,

Lol tulips, I now get it.

I have read your article on ‘how to make her squirt’ and all I can say is wow wow wow. I tried it on myself several times and failed to squirt but I ‘came’. I am afraid to ask this man to make me squirt because he may ask me how I know about squirting.

Maurice replies,

You have 2 options. Refer him to the article or print it out for him to read. Let him empower himself with the information so that he can feel part of the process that hopefully makes you squirt in the near future.

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Dear Maurice,

I am currently jobless and I have a man in my life who is not adding value as he promised. He has promised me over and over and over but he never delivers.

Maurice asks,

Who is he to you, is he your boyfriend?

She replies,

I have been dating him for 5 years.

Maurice asks,

What are these promises and are you sure you are both on the same boat in regards to the direction of your relationship?

She replies,

Since we met he has only fulfilled one promise. After a few months of dating he started to pay my rent and utilities bills. But he refused to buy my food because I was working at the time. I have to remind him and pester him to do stuff for me. I have to eat. I have a car to maintain. I wanted to sell my car mid last year but he discouraged me saying he would be there for me. What pisses me off is that these days he seems reluctant to pay anything on time.

Maurice asks,

For how long have you been out of work?

She replies,

For 2 years.

Maurice asks,

What have you done to regain employment?

She replies,

If I am honest I was extremely aggressive in my job search for about 1 year then I just gave up. He told me that I should not worry and that he would take care of me. But now it seems like I am a burden to him.

Maurice asks,

How serious is your relationship, do you plan to wed?

She replies,

That might not be a possibility?

Maurice asks,

Why not?

She replies,

He is married with 2 kids.

Maurice replies,

I see. So you understand there’s only so much he can do for you?

She asks,

What do you mean?

Maurice replies,

Regardless of what you were promised, a lot that was said over those benefited him more than you, otherwise why play the game. It was a means to an end. With most men who choose to maintain a side kick there is always a rule book and only he knows all the rules. While together he will only reveal those rules that gain him an advantage over you and those that make sure that you do not interfere with him primary family. I call it social time share management. Men are gifted in a variety of ways, some with the gift of the gab, others the power of their wallet. Every angler has his method of applying his bait and securing his catch.

If I may ask, why is it that you do not have children with him, do you use protection?

She replies,

Before we met I was using the coil because I was not ready for children. Since we met we have always gone for random HIV tests because he has never been keen on using condoms.

Maurice asks,

With the fact that you were not hurrying to have a baby you were his dream come true. Many married men with girlfriends can attest to the pressure they receive in relations to baby making.

Do you trust that apart from his wife he is exclusively sleeping with you?

She replies,

Considering how careful he has been I am inclined to trust that he is not seeing any other woman or women.

Maurice asks,

Based on what you have told me he will never be yours so what do want from him?

She replies,

After what you have said I am no longer sure of the future with him. What do you advise?

Maurice replies,

In my opinion I believe he is reluctant to help because for the last 2 years he feels that the extra burden is not what he signed up for. As you said he committed to paying for your rent and utility bills but when your status went from employed to unemployed the dynamics of your relationship changed for him. He most likely feels like he has two families to look after.

Despite contributing financially his ultimate driving force towards you was the fact that you represented a side of his life that was fun and adventurous, perhaps you even provided for the only home where he did not feel judged but appreciated. But currently with you pestering him your role in his life is no longer a positive reflection. Whether you are with him or not you only have one option. If you believe in yourself you will land that job but you must get back to being aggressive in your search. You must empower yourself and get back on your feet. Do not rely on a man that does not belong to you. He is not obligated to you and the reality is there are plenty of married women who have unreliable husbands. Taking up responsibility is a choice.

Something tells me that you are not going to leave this relationship so do yourself a favour and gain financial independence and learn to live with his unwritten rules.

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Hi Maurice,

I was introduced to your blog by a friend and I must say you are good at what you do especially the sex pieces are so awesome but I must admit some of those sex position tips are over board for me, kudos.

Now to my contribution. I feel I must share my story. I have been married for 12 years and I have 3 beautiful children that I love dearly but I have never loved their mother in the context of what people call love.

Maurice asks,

So why marry her and have kids?

He replies,

I am going to seem like a complete asshole but I am sure you are not one to judge. I married her because it suited me to wed a beautiful woman who would bear my children and make me a family as well as satisfying my mother’s wish to have grand children.

Maurice asks,

Do you have any feelings for your wife?

I care for my wife. I have given her every comfort a woman can dream of and I still perform my role as her husband. And that is it, it is just a role I have played for 12 years. Every week we go out for our lunches and dinners. It is also part of my promise to take her on holiday abroad once a year and I do it willingly.

Maurice replies,

Indeed it is not ethical to judge I leave that to my readers. I comment and give my views based on information. From my experience your scenario is not uncommon. You may not fit the societal rules of marriage but despite your lack of love for your wife you are probably providing more than many men who claim to love their wives. Have you come across men who are in your situation?

He replies,

Yes I have. Two of my close friends from my line up are married and not out of love. One of them relates to me, he married his wife because she got pregnant, she was supposed to be a weekend fling but her bedroom skills kept her in the loom longer than expected. Our only difference is that he finds it very difficult to provide willingly in his 9 years of marriage. As you can imagine they are always entertaining us with their dramas. The other friend married because of pressures at work. He could see a promotion coming and as you know most corporates do not advance careers of single men.

Maurice asks,

Have you ever been in-love?

He replies,

Good question. I have read much of your work so I am confident that you understand male psychology in relation to women. To be perfectly honest I have never known what love is in the Universal context but I know that I love certain things about a woman. I love my wife’s bodily attributes. She thinks I love her career progression but really I careless but you must please a woman with flowery words. I love how she makes me feel like a man in and out of bed. If she was not female and was unable to quench my manly requirements I would have no use for her and I know many men who feel the same way but at home they act their part like I do.

Maurice asks,

So do you think that men should come out clean and tell their wife why they are still relevant?

He replies,

Maurice I think we both know that would never go down well in the fairy tale World that women try and mold. Most men adopt a role that fits their woman’s expectations only the degree varies. For me I know that I took on responsibilities and I made a conscious decision to provide for my family. What drives me is the continuation of my family name through my children.

My wife says she loves me but I logically know that love is not unconditional. I fulfill her needs as a wife and mother by my financial power and my ability to provide long term security. If I was spending more on friends and other women she would not be so loving.  Nothing in life is free especially with this species called women, so unconditional love is a mythical notion if you ask me.

Maurice asks,

Do you have other women in your life?

He replies,

I am glad you asked. In my 12 years of marriage I have only had brief encounters with women. The rule is simple, we meet, we have a good time, we have protected sex and then we are done. When I meet women those are my terms and I never go without sex, it works for me. Unlike a lot of men I do not have the time or patience to provide for a girlfriend or another family. I have only had 2 repeat shags and that was due to their sexual nature.

Maurice asks,

Would I be correct to say that your wife was a trophy wife, that her physical attributes were visually enticing for her to qualify as your wife?

He replies,

You are correct.

Maurice asks,

And despite your lack of love you still find her sexually appetizing?

He replies,

Well put, she still arouses me. Personally I am a boob guy and I also like a curvy woman. Even though she is a size 12 from size 8, my wife has kept her shape and her filthy wild sexual character is still as adventurous as the day we first had sex 14 years ago.

Today I witness men who say they are in-love with their wife but are unable to attain an erection for the same wife. Clearly the penis does not know love.

Maurice replies,

That is scientific fact that the primal sexual calling in men has nothing to do with love. It is all to do with neurochemicals but most people are afraid of the raw facts.

He replies,

Thank you Maurice. It has been a pleasure chatting with you. I look forward to the responses you will receive once you post this. Keep up the good work.

—————————————

I have vigrx plus for men and horny goat weed for women in stock.

I also have a limited number of the bullet vibrator for clitoral stimulation (4k) and the pink g-spot finder vibrator (6k) in stock.

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Hi Maurice,

I am taking issue with you.

Maurice replies,

What issue?

She replies,

Something you implied on your facebook status regarding women dating married men.

Maurice replies,

So what did I imply?

She replies,

You made it sound like married men are innocent in their affairs. Married men have a choice to stay faithful or not so do not put the blame solely on women.

Maurice replies,

Yes, you are right they do have a choice but that was not my point. Question, are you married?

She replies,

No I am not.

Maurice asks,

So are you having dialogue with me defending the actions of single women?

She replies,

I am single in the sense that I do not have a boyfriend but I am dating a married man.

Maurice asks,

Is he your first married man and for how long have you dated this guy?

She replies,

He is my second official married man and we have been together for 4 years.

Maurice replies,

I can’t help but notice your reference of ‘official married man’ and your use of the phrase ‘we have been together’. Is that your way of justifying your relationship with a married man?

She replies,

I might as well be his wife and I am not justifying anything nor do I apologize for dating a married man, so what if he is married. If the wife was doing her job women like me would not be doing her job for her. Like I said this is my second married man and I make him feel like a man of which he doesn’t at home.

Maurice replies,

Before you give me the ‘I know him better than the wife speech’, what does he gain from you that the wife can’t give him?

She replies,

I give him what you write about. Come rain or shine I fulfill his sexual needs whenever and I learned a long time ago that sex for men is like breathing, too bad his wife thinks she can give it to him only when she feels like it. When he comes over to my place I make him fresh meals and I have done so for 4 years. His wife of 5 years plays the ‘I am tired’ card and yet I work the same hours but the difference is that I am willing to play the universal woman’s role and make my man feel like a King.

It is not my fault that his wife fails to be a woman for him. He has described his home having 2 men instead of a man and wife and that is why he has consistently come running to me for 4 years. Just like women, men love to be pampered and their egos stroked on a daily basis. Whether I am mad at him or not I constantly affirm to him that he is a man, my man. At home he receives verbal abuse for small issues and that makes him feel unwanted and useless. How many times have I instructed him to do something for his wife, plenty of times is the answer.

Maurice asks,

Are you saying that because of you the wife has benefited?

She replies,

Yes. If I may recall there is a time about 1 year ago that the wife really wanted a holiday and he was not for the idea but I convinced him to take her because it was only fair after I put myself in her shoes. He owed her that holiday based on other details I would rather not share.

Maurice asks,

Thank you for being so considerate. What do you gain from being the secret 2nd wife?

She replies,

Maurice I read all your articles and the best answer I can give you is that I gained compatible companionship. I pay my own bills but I have financially benefited from him and invested in properties that I own. When I met him he was just a guy I had fun with and before we knew it he was spending a lot of time with me and through that time he advised me on how to improve my life and he only promised things he could deliver. That is one reason I still have him in my life. There are plenty of men to embezzle from but I wanted more. I wanted a man who understood me, who listened without judgment and added value to my life. It is just too bad that it was a married man that filled that void 4 years ago. I have no regrets nor do I have expectations like him leaving his wife. When he is with me he is mine and I am content with that.

Maurice asks,

What is your opinion on marriages today in relation to your scenario?

She replies,

To be perfectly honest there are women out there who do not deserve the men they have. I have had my bad experiences with men so I will not say that all men are good but I have come to understand that men are not as strong as women think. Men also seek comfort, they want pampering like I had earlier said, they want to be acknowledged for the smallest of things and that is where us women fail. We expect men to be strong and solid at all times and that is not practical. I am no expert but I must be doing something right to receive daily text messages from him checking up on me. He has told me numerous times that he feels at home at my place and that when he sleeps he is at peace knowing when he wakes up he will encounter a friendly face.

Maurice replies,

Thank you for sharing.

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Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 4 years. We have one child. I am a stay at home wife. We have a business that I manage but I also have staff who keep it running when I can not be there. I am a very dedicated wife. Despite having a house help I like to keep myself busy with house chores. I really need your advice on my marriage, things are just not working out.

Maurice asks,

What is wrong?

She replies,

My husband is having another affair and this time round it is complicated and I have had enough of his infidelity and lies.

Maurice replies,

So you have been here before?

She replies,

Yes I have, plenty of times. When I met my husband we were both in high school and he was a woman’s man if you know what I mean. He was bright, handsome, a charmer who could melt you and whisk you away. He was very sporty with a great body. He was everything I ever wanted or needed in a man. We dated for 6 years and unless I was ignorant I never suspected or saw signs of him being a serial cheat. After we got married it was not long till he had his first taste of adultery. He was seeing multiple women. A University girl and a social worker who we met at a function. I contacted both women and they confirmed their affair with my husband. I forgave him and erased the events from my mind. That was within a year of marriage. Since then every year has seen another woman enter our life to the point I just gave up and let him be. I told myself that at least he comes home to me. Two weeks ago I received a call from a woman and she asked to see me about my husband. I insisted she tells me but she said she would only be able to tell me face to face.

Maurice asks,

So did you meet her?

She replies,

I was so curious I had to meet her. She had a 3 year old child with her and as I walked up to her table my instincts were later confirmed that the child was my husband’s. I was crashed, she was the under grad he had an affair with. She further let me know that my husband had been housing her and maintaining her lifestyle because she had been in-between jobs for the last 2 years. Why didn’t he trust me enough to tell me about having a child with another woman? I haven’t even asked him about it. I can not afford to have my marriage collapse.

Maurice replies,

For there to be any form of closure you need to talk about it with your husband. Tell him you know but you are not going to judge him, you only need the truth from him, and establish a mutual way forward if indeed you want to maintain status quo in your marriage.

She replies,

What if he chases me away and replaces me?

Maurice asks,

My dear despite your husband’s multiple affairs for some reason you have stayed with him. You have had the choice to leave but I am certain you do not want that option. At this point you have nothing to lose and you need to rationally confront him and be open to whatever he has to say. It is also in my opinion that you need to prepare yourself to share him officially or unofficially. I say this because I do not see your husband changing his ways, as you said when you met him he was a woman’s man. Unfortunately for you that character trait in him has been a constant.

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Dear Maurice,

I am in a major dilemma and I need your advice. To be quite honest this dilemma begun a long time ago, it’s only now in 2013 that I am no longer in denial. Christmas was my calling card when I realized that the last time we actually had fun as a family was years ago. I have been married for 22 years and we have 2 kids who are all grown up and have flown the nest to pursue their university education. For the last 2 years we have had to force our kids to be home for Christmas. They would rather spend it with extended family or with their friends. My husband and I have always known the reason why the kids avoid being home but we have been in denial for a very long time.

Maurice asks,

What have you been in denial about?

She replies,

Our marriage experienced a disconnect about 4 years ago.

Maurice asks,

What caused that disconnect and please explain your dilemma?

She replies,

My husband traveled abroad on a work related project and he was away for 16 months. During that time he was away we were in-touch daily but it was not enough to maintain our marital bond. We communicated for awhile but with each call we were running out of things to tell each other and before we knew it we could go for days without talking. A combination of distance and our busy schedules just made it harder to rekindle what we once had. Since he returned home we have pretended that all is well but after what I heard a few days ago I have realized that there’s more to our lack of communication.

Maurice asks,

What do you mean?

She replies,

I over heard my husband talking to another woman. He told her that he loved her once but he can’t be with her because he has a family to take care of and that he loves his wife very much, he told her that what they had in Brussels was special but she needed to let go. He then hung up. That night while we were sleeping he held me so tight till morning. I should be mad but I am not. I want to save my marriage. I am in-love with this man, I don’t care that he may have had an affair in Brussels. I want to reconnect with my husband. What should I do?

Maurice replies,

First thing, you should never let him know that you over heard his conversation that will send him into living a guilt trip and most likely hamper your reconnection. Based on his actions your husband wants you as the woman in his life so have a heart to heart moment and tell each other what you miss most. To rekindle you must avoid discussing the negatives of the past. Instead you should fall back into doing the things you used to do and enjoy together. Make time for love, make it your number one priority because nothing you may be doing in your life is more important than your marriage right now. Men are usually slow at this rekindling but it is obvious that your husband wants to be with you, so if you have to lead him make the initiative to create that setting where you can nurture a loving environment. Before you know it your husband will take the lead and most likely use ideas you subtly gave him to pamper you as you rekindle your union.

She replies,

He must be living with guilt and I will help him forget the past. I am not excusing him but I was not supportive as his wife while he was away and that may have led him to seek another woman’s attention. One thing I have learned about you men over the last 22 years, is that you are more emotionally demanding, like toddlers, than women are and if you don’t receive attention you succumb to cheap thrills. Thank you Maurice.

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Dude I need your opinion on my love life.

Maurice replies,

What is going on?

He replies,

I am dating a woman much older than me and I also have a girlfriend who is my age mate.

Maurice replies,

When you say older how much older?

He replies,

I am 21 years old and she is 42.

Maurice asks,

Continue….

He replies,

I really like the older woman and how she takes care of me and the things she has taught me over the last 2 years. But I think I love my girlfriend.

Maurice replies,

Now, stop right there. When you use the word love you do understand apart from the mental positive energy that comes with it a level of commitment is also attached.

He asks,

What do you mean?

Maurice replies,

Are you ready to be with one woman for the rest of your life and are you ready to support your alleged loved one and in time a baby or babies?

He replies,

I am not ready for all that, I am still in campus.

Maurice replies,

I am glad you said that and at 21 years of age you should be studying as your primary priority and having the social fun youth your age have and stop implanting love notions that you will not handle when your girlfriend demands that you commit to her. She may be your age mate but I am willing to bet her expectations are more long term than short.

He replies,

You are right she keeps talking about us having a family when we finish campus and start working yet we only started to see each other less than a year ago.

Maurice replies,

There you go. It is better to tell your girlfriend that you just want to have fun for now than to lead her on and break her heart after she has invested years into your unpredictable future. So what is the story with the older woman, will you continue to see her?

He replies,

Apart from liking her very much I don’t have the choice of leaving her because she pays for my education and maintenance. We can’t be together because she is married, we only see each other when she can get away. My parents live in Nakuru and can’t afford to educate me.

Maurice replies,

Well that is your life, but I must correct you on something. Apart from fun and sex of which I know she must like from you otherwise why maintain you, what else do you have in common with a 42 year old woman? Lets be realistic. The main reason she is seeing you is because of your sexual ability or ability to sexually follow instructions to her satisfaction, correct?

He replies,

Yes that is correct. What about my girlfriend’s mum?

Maurice asks,

You’ve lost me.

He replies,

My girlfriend and I are currently studying at the same campus in Nairobi and we are both from Nakuru.

Maurice replies,

I am still lost.

He replies,

I met my girlfriend through her mum. I am still with the mum.

Maurice replies,

I have a very creative mind but I hope you are not implying what I think you are. Are you sleeping with your girlfriend’s mum?

He replies,

Yes. She was one of my first experiences with an older woman.

Maurice asks,

From what age have you been with older women?

He replies,

Since I was 16. I don’t know why but I love older women. They know what they want and they don’t stress me like younger girls.

Maurice replies,

You are right older women do know what they want and they don’t stress you because at the moment they are the facilitators, the ones calling the shots without much expectation from you other than you company and sexual ability. That would drastically change if you were to get married to one of them and then she noticed you were not pulling your weight to assist her. Even though you must be feeling on top of the World the fact is you are merely providing a service as a younger man who can easily be manipulated for personal gain.

So lets recap this jungle of love you are in. You are currently maintained by an older woman and you are sleeping with your girlfriend and her mother. I have to ask, if you like older women so much why did you have to target your cougar’s daughter?

He replies,

While dating in Nakuru I got friendly with the daughter but only as friends. When she joined campus in Nairobi her mum asked me to look after her.

Maurice replies,

Something tells me your version of ‘looking after’ is very different to what you were asked to do.

He replies,

We were out one night and one thing led to another.

Maurice asks,

When in Nakuru how do you juggle your girlfriend and the mum?

He replies,

We agreed never to show our feelings in front of the mum, though my girlfriend is finding it harder to pretend with every visit.

Maurice replies, ‘you think’. It must be painful for her to see you with her mum and that is why I strongly recommend that you detach yourself with one of them, though either way you are doomed, that’s my personal opinion.

He replies,

This is complicated. How do I choose?

Maurice replies,

What you need to ask yourself is what future do you want, are you working hard in campus so as to one day stand on your own two feet without relying on anyone? If so, who is currently adding value to your life so that you can reach your future goals. If you can separate fun from the realities of life then I am confident you will make the right choice.

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Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 2 years. I am 25 years old and my husband is 29. We met 5 years ago and it was love at first sight. At the time I was pursuing my under grad education and my husband was already pursuing his career. We knew we were destined together because we had similar vision for the future and that is why I stuck by his side and agreed to be his wife. But right now I am not content with our current progress in life.

Maurice asks,

What are you not content about?

She replies,

My husband had made certain promises to me before we got married and the key ones are as follows; he promised that we would move from our current residence to a more affluent suburb. He promised that we would have a joint bank account, there were no timelines but by now I thought it would be a reality. I do not want a man who I have to push for things to be done. As my husband it should come as second nature to implement what he promised.

Maurice asks,

Do you have kids?

She replies,

That is the other concern that I have. He made it clear that he is not ready to have kids.

Maurice asks,

When did he declare that he was not ready to have kids?

She replies,

It was 4 years ago while we were planning for our wedding.

Maurice asks,

So he had told you early enough to avoid surprises later after you were married?

She replies,

Yes, and I respected his honesty but I thought almost 3 years into our marriage he would stop using condoms. He is so careful that he insists that we practice safe sex until he is ready to impregnate me. I do not feel like his wife. Sometimes I fear that he may never want kids with me, maybe at one point he realized that I am not wife material for him, could that be the case?

Maurice replies,

Before I can answer you please tell me why you think your husband does not want to move from your current home?

She replies,

He has lived within our area of residence all his life. His family and friends are all around us and he does not want to move to unfamiliar territory as he puts it, plus he is always saying that other places are over priced and will affect our disposable cash and yet I know we can afford to move to my preferred area and live comfortably.

Maurice replies,

If you can answer yes to ‘is your husband a loving man’, and despite everything ‘do you believe that he is in his own way serving your best interests’? Then value your marriage unity and harmony over all other ambitions. Eventually you will most likely move to your preferred residence but give it time. Your marriage is still at its infancy and you need to nurture it first as you set realistic mutual timelines to achieve your financial, career and lifestyle ambitions. One last piece of advice,  a woman who ceases to pressure her husband but patiently pushes and nurtures him over years usually prevails.

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To the ladies.

You could pressure your man to gain something but while you gain you lose the one thing this is most valuable ‘your man’. So please let decisions be mutual and not done out of pressure or obligation. Especially with today’s economic times, too often have I seen men walk out of their marriage because they could not keep up with lifestyle demanded by their spouse.

And to the men out there, it is more manly to declare what you can afford and sustain than to attempt to impressive through a struggle that will inevitably wear you down. If your spouse has the mentally of growing together you will prevail as a couple but if she is the kind of woman who lives on the ‘fast lane’ then like Luke Skywalker may the forces be with you.

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