Hi Maurice,
I am taking issue with you.
Maurice replies,
What issue?
She replies,
Something you implied on your facebook status regarding women dating married men.
Maurice replies,
So what did I imply?
She replies,
You made it sound like married men are innocent in their affairs. Married men have a choice to stay faithful or not so do not put the blame solely on women.
Maurice replies,
Yes, you are right they do have a choice but that was not my point. Question, are you married?
She replies,
No I am not.
Maurice asks,
So are you having dialogue with me defending the actions of single women?
She replies,
I am single in the sense that I do not have a boyfriend but I am dating a married man.
Maurice asks,
Is he your first married man and for how long have you dated this guy?
She replies,
He is my second official married man and we have been together for 4 years.
Maurice replies,
I can’t help but notice your reference of ‘official married man’ and your use of the phrase ‘we have been together’. Is that your way of justifying your relationship with a married man?
She replies,
I might as well be his wife and I am not justifying anything nor do I apologize for dating a married man, so what if he is married. If the wife was doing her job women like me would not be doing her job for her. Like I said this is my second married man and I make him feel like a man of which he doesn’t at home.
Maurice replies,
Before you give me the ‘I know him better than the wife speech’, what does he gain from you that the wife can’t give him?
She replies,
I give him what you write about. Come rain or shine I fulfill his sexual needs 
whenever and I learned a long time ago that sex for men is like breathing, too bad his wife thinks she can give it to him only when she feels like it. When he comes over to my place I make him fresh meals and I have done so for 4 years. His wife of 5 years plays the ‘I am tired’ card and yet I work the same hours but the difference is that I am willing to play the universal woman’s role and make my man feel like a King.
It is not my fault that his wife fails to be a woman for him. He has described his home having 2 men instead of a man and wife and that is why he has consistently come running to me for 4 years. Just like women, men love to be pampered and their egos stroked on a daily basis. Whether I am mad at him or not I constantly affirm to him that he is a man, my man. At home he receives verbal abuse for small issues and that makes him feel unwanted and useless. How many times have I instructed him to do something for his wife, plenty of times is the answer.
Maurice asks,
Are you saying that because of you the wife has benefited?
She replies,
Yes. If I may recall there is a time about 1 year ago that the wife really wanted a holiday and he was not for the idea but I convinced him to take her because it was only fair after I put myself in her shoes. He owed her that holiday based on other details I would rather not share.
Maurice asks,
Thank you for being so considerate. What do you gain from being the secret 2nd wife?
She replies,
Maurice I read all your articles and the best answer I can give you is that I gained compatible companionship. I pay my own bills but I have financially benefited from him and invested in properties that I own. When I met him he was just a guy I had fun with and before we knew it he was spending a lot of time with me and through that time he advised me on how to improve my life and he only promised things he could deliver. That is one reason I still have him in my life. There are plenty of men to embezzle from but I wanted more. I wanted a man who understood me, who listened without judgment and added value to my life. It is just too bad that it was a married man that filled that void 4 years ago. I have no regrets nor do I have expectations like him leaving his wife. When he is with me he is mine and I am content with that.
Maurice asks,
What is your opinion on marriages today in relation to your scenario?
She replies,
To be perfectly honest there are women out there who do not deserve the men they have. I have had my bad experiences with men so I will not say that all men are good but I have come to understand that men are not as strong as women think. Men also seek comfort, they want pampering like I had earlier said, they want to be acknowledged for the smallest of things and that is where us women fail. We expect men to be strong and solid at all times and that is not practical. I am no expert but I must be doing something right to receive daily text messages from him checking up on me. He has told me numerous times that he feels at home at my place and that when he sleeps he is at peace knowing when he wakes up he will encounter a friendly face.
Maurice replies,
Thank you for sharing.
Iam Sorry for Chicks wo do this To a marriage man. A Mariage Woman remember sie is the First Lady weather you like or Not , iremember one Day my man dol’t a chic that Ooo my wife she past away some years back so am looking sombody To marry. Imagin and yet iwas in a parent Meeting in upcountry. So man can Tell u anything To have u. When u say the Woman she is always tired it doest mean you’re the winner. Continue cooking for Mariage Men at the end of the Day he goes back To his wife.
Maurice am blessed with your advise , sx can Not make me ran from my man !
Your man said u were dead and you’re giving him the thumbs up???? Seriously??? There’s something wrong with you. And dont play the at the end of the day he comes home to you card. Yeah he comes home but u need to wake up and look at how he’s treating you. So he spends hrs out there with another woman n only comes hime to eat n sleep. Wat are u running a B&B motel? Or u would rather be in a lousy marriage than be single n God forbid people think you’re a loser…
If the man is really that unhappy and you are ‘all that to him’, why hasn’t he left his wife to be with you seeing as you two are such a good match?
Polygamy (polgyny)…you should write something on this bruv.
Maurice, i love the way you have handled this one. You just let her be on her high horse. But i believe that the nature of humans allows them to be different with the people they dont live with. Am sure, she wdnt maintain this pampering if she permanently lived with the man. Such mistakes of men marrying women they do not deserve are very rare. they usually deserve each other until shit happens, marriage and the sex become boring depending on the circumstances and the will to not give up whatsoever. Yes, companionship can be a genuine reason but feeling more important than the wife is not justifiable. Is she sure of what goes on in the mans home? he could tell her what she wants to hear but am sure, things are not that bad, in mariage there are rossy days and bad days as well. I have dated a married guy for 7 years and iam talking from experience. I respect his marriage, his wife and besides him being married, he is the best thing that ever happened to me. Yes, married, so what? i could date a single guy who is seeing several other ladies, so, it wouldnt be fair to judge. we are all looking for happiness after all and we all cant get it through the same avenues.
I agree with Irene, this lady is on a high horse thinking she’s better than the wife and that’s why the husband is with her. She’d be surprised that if she were married to the man, with all her perfection, he’d probably still cheat on her. Marriage is lots of work, the reason most married men cheat is because they can and because they want to. All those stories of his wife emasculates him, doesn’t understand him etc is all hogwash. I have dated and been in love with a married man. It ended but even during the relationship, i never once kidded myself that she was wrong for him and i was his perfect mate.
Look at how casual you are admiting to dating a married man. You are the women who give us a bad name and make our marriage hell. Shame on you, get your own men.
I believe the man just knows how to play his cards right and the lady is gaining this and that materially to know that if the man was put in a scenario to chose, he would pick the wife even if he were blind, she would be surprised to discover she is not the only one he sleeps with if in 4 years he hasn’t officially made her his second wife.
Dating a married man is not the best thing to do for any single lady but I am not quick to judge because personally I have done that at some point in my life. Simply put, Young men have refused to grow up. A married man will not have petty tantrums when compared to the men in their twenties. Its too complicated and sometimes you cannot blame the married man if he can take care of you two. A married man who grows you intellectually, socially as well as financially is no ordinary man. I have experienced this and not all married men are after sex- some want bright and intelligent women who they can discuss ideas with.
Ladies, Avoid this idea of sex makes the world go round- Wake up and smell the coffee.. It comes second–Build your life, you could be a single mom but the father-who is already married knows all too well that he has fatherly responsibilities to attend to (your baby). It might sound ridiculous but It is real- I have seen it.