mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 2 years. I am 25 years old and my husband is 29. We met 5 years ago and it was love at first sight. At the time I was pursuing my under grad education and my husband was already pursuing his career. We knew we were destined together because we had similar vision for the future and that is why I stuck by his side and agreed to be his wife. But right now I am not content with our current progress in life.

Maurice asks,

What are you not content about?

She replies,

My husband had made certain promises to me before we got married and the key ones are as follows; he promised that we would move from our current residence to a more affluent suburb. He promised that we would have a joint bank account, there were no timelines but by now I thought it would be a reality. I do not want a man who I have to push for things to be done. As my husband it should come as second nature to implement what he promised.

Maurice asks,

Do you have kids?

She replies,

That is the other concern that I have. He made it clear that he is not ready to have kids.

Maurice asks,

When did he declare that he was not ready to have kids?

She replies,

It was 4 years ago while we were planning for our wedding.

Maurice asks,

So he had told you early enough to avoid surprises later after you were married?

She replies,

Yes, and I respected his honesty but I thought almost 3 years into our marriage he would stop using condoms. He is so careful that he insists that we practice safe sex until he is ready to impregnate me. I do not feel like his wife. Sometimes I fear that he may never want kids with me, maybe at one point he realized that I am not wife material for him, could that be the case?

Maurice replies,

Before I can answer you please tell me why you think your husband does not want to move from your current home?

She replies,

He has lived within our area of residence all his life. His family and friends are all around us and he does not want to move to unfamiliar territory as he puts it, plus he is always saying that other places are over priced and will affect our disposable cash and yet I know we can afford to move to my preferred area and live comfortably.

Maurice replies,

If you can answer yes to ‘is your husband a loving man’, and despite everything ‘do you believe that he is in his own way serving your best interests’? Then value your marriage unity and harmony over all other ambitions. Eventually you will most likely move to your preferred residence but give it time. Your marriage is still at its infancy and you need to nurture it first as you set realistic mutual timelines to achieve your financial, career and lifestyle ambitions. One last piece of advice,  a woman who ceases to pressure her husband but patiently pushes and nurtures him over years usually prevails.

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To the ladies.

You could pressure your man to gain something but while you gain you lose the one thing this is most valuable ‘your man’. So please let decisions be mutual and not done out of pressure or obligation. Especially with today’s economic times, too often have I seen men walk out of their marriage because they could not keep up with lifestyle demanded by their spouse.

And to the men out there, it is more manly to declare what you can afford and sustain than to attempt to impressive through a struggle that will inevitably wear you down. If your spouse has the mentally of growing together you will prevail as a couple but if she is the kind of woman who lives on the ‘fast lane’ then like Luke Skywalker may the forces be with you.