mauricetherapy

Men are always asking ‘what must we do or say in order to attract women’. Seldom do men think of the other way round. What must we men abstain from doing or saying in order not to leave a bad impression or simply turn off a woman. The truth is there is no guidebook to follow  to what you are supposed to do or not to do.

Women like men that are sincere and true, then again some men have no idea what that means from one woman to the next. Do not try to be somebody else just so that you can impress a woman. For instance, do not try to fake an accent. It is common for men especially to put on an accent to sound more exposed or is it more exotic! Just be yourself otherwise once your act expires she will soon know the real you which might completely turn her off. Do not try to act cool, act smart or be proud. If you are hot no one can take that from you so over kill will back fire on you ‘be yourself’. Believe it or not but many women like men that are humble and modest. Don’t play MR COOL, if she has accepted to go on a date or see you for a second date there must be something she likes about you so don’t go spoiling it with some fake act.

When out on a date, it is good to start a conversation by introducing yourself to the women and talking a bit about yourself. And I mean a bit. Do not get carried away and babble about yourselves non-stop, about your childhood, your achievements, your beloved car and its rims. Since it is a conversation, give the women an opportunity to speak and give yourself a chance to listen while resting your mouth. Many men get carried away while on a date and talk about themselves non-stop. Don’t let her think you are egocentric, its a date not an interview.

Please men, if you are aware that you have a problem of bad breath, do something about it. Many men may not know it but they do have this bad breath problem. Mints and gum are great to keep your breath fresh but it is equally important that you brush your teeth everyday, morning and evening if possible. Trust me, no woman wants to smell your garlic breath.

A man who does not bathe for days or watch their personal hygiene is a complete turn off.  Men, it is important to pay close attention to your body odour, invest in cologne or deodorant spray.

Why do some women sexually no longer crave their partner? Well lets start with the foundation of the relationship, if you happened to be dating or married to someone whom you are no longer sexually attracted to then at your foundation stage (while courting) you may have ignored your sexual compatibility and like many couples you probably believed that love will conquer all. I hate to disappoint but love does not conquer ‘sexual desire’. You cannot trick your mind to sexually want someone. Caring for another human being and building and sustaining sexual desire for them are two completely separate things. For many couple once the honeymoon phase is over and your so called chemistry was based entirely on feel good neuro-chemicals then your sexual desire gradually drops for your partner. Many couples disregard sexual attraction hoping the ‘notion’ of love will keep them together. Now that theory may work for women who can love the worse of men unconditionally but for men its about practical attraction. A man cannot force his penis to gain an erection just because there is a naked woman in front of him. Having an erection is not plug and play and I wish men would tell women the truth. Having an erection is not so simple especially if the man in question has a particular female look or attribute that turns him on.

It is critical that a woman dates or marries a man who knows how to ring her bell over and over and over. A man who touches her and something in her brain is triggered to the point she cannot decline his advances. That is why some women can testify to once dating a man who would touch them and wake them up at 2am or 5am and she would get so wet just by his touch. On the other hand some men regardless of what they do will never get that woman wet at 5am, if anything she is usually so pissed off wondering why her beauty sleep is being interrupted. There is no school to learn how to make a woman wet at 5am, you either have that midas touch or you don’t.

If you want to keep a woman’s fire burning it is your duty as a man to follow her instructions, you do not have a vagina so don’t pretend or act like a ‘vagina expert’ and yet your line of work is civil engineering. Unless you are planning to construct a ‘by pass’ or a bridge between her legs I advise you listen to her so that you can press her pleasure buttons and satisfy her orgasm after orgasm without feeling like you have been running a marathon. Men who follow instructions get to witness the pleasures a woman can experience, be that man.

Dear Maurice,

My husband and I would like to give you our sincere gratitude for your candid directive over the period we met you. When we look back we realised that we almost jumped ship because we were not willing to accept the issues we had in our marriage. Even though we thought you were overly blunt we totally appreciated your no nonsense approach. One question that comes to mind was when you asked us at our first session if we were holding hands to mask problems or were we so in-love which would render the purpose of the session non productive. You also asked us if we both wanted the same out of the session, you emphasized on whether we were both targeting the finish line. Well, I can confirm that we made it to the finish line.

To my readers,

The above is based on feedback that I had requested from the couple. Like many couple when they came to me they were almost at the end of the road. The reason why I share this story is because this couple had unique variables. They had dated for 3 years and when I met them they were only 6 weeks into their marriage. They do not have a child so it would have been easy for them to just walk away from each other but instead they chose to face their issues head on.

It was the wife who made the initial contact. She claimed that her young marriage was a false marriage because what they really felt was swept under the carpet and had been from the onset. She did mention during our phone conversation that when she said “I do” she felt a wave of mixed emotions because at that moment she knew she had embarked into a wormhole with unsolved issues.

Fortunately, her husband agreed to a session where all was laid on the table. Let me put it into context, her husband was a great financial provider but in the department of affection and sex he was closed for renovations which seemed to take as long as the construction of the Nairobi by pass.

During the session it was abundantly clear that over 90% of their daily arguments about trivial matters were given birth by the fact that their intimacy was almost non existent. Here is a list of her sentiments:

1) You hardly compliment me, I need to feel attractive

2) Apart from the morning kiss, why do I always initiate physical affection

3) In public, you never hold my hand or kiss me, are you ashamed of me

4) You only check up on me at work when you need something

5) In the bedroom, I have tried and tried to direct you to the bodily areas that turn me on but instead you indirectly brush me off by pretending to listen then you go on and do things that put me off sex

6) I need you to sometimes make me breakfast or we make breakfast together and make out in the kitchen

Satisfactory sex especially in relation to female pleasure is 15% to 30% of what makes a relationship work however if your sex life is unsatisfactory then it becomes 80% to 90% of your relationship. Sex then becomes a commodity.

When the husband opened up he did admit that he knew of his short coming but was too embarrassed to talk about them. In his opinion a married woman was not touched in public. I don’t blame him. I blame our useless primitive societal school of thought that needs to update itself with today’s social dynamics of matrimony and relationships in general.

He also highlighted the things that were outlined during their premarital counseling. From his understanding, his core duties were to be the man of the house and provide for his wife and future family. In the context of that ancient ideology he is not at fault, if anything he should be handed a medal of honour. But in the context of modern age where women are not door mats and know their sexual rights he neglected his primal duties as a man.

The program I gave them set them on a journey where they would rediscover their social arena; going for movies, sharing a conversational lunch or dinner and flirting as they share sexual desires. I made it very clear that the above means nothing if they do not share a mutual target to succeed. As the saying goes ‘it takes two to tango’.

On the topic of sex when I had a session with the husband alone he like many men before him had no clue what was physically done for a woman to feel like her man was making love to her.

My reply was shift and to the point. What women regard as making love is the act of sex where they feel loved, feel an immense connection with their partner, and experience a flow of endless passion during the sexual motions. This is where the wiring of a man and woman collide. We actual mean the same thing but how it is describes psychologically registers differently between men and women.

Many women respond to the notion of ‘making love’, on the other hand the word ‘fucking’ registers with most men as a positive act which arouses them. Many women (thankfully not all) think the word ‘fucking’ is disrespectful and describes non loving sex (whatever that means). The fact is, making love or fucking is exactly the same sexual act, the difference only applies when it comes down to who is driving your vagina. If the driver is selfish it will not matter what you tag your sex session, chances are he will disappoint regardless. Once I explained the above to him things were clearer.

It was encouraging that during their therapy program they ventured into the unknown. She had never given him oral sex (because he had declined) and he had never ever thought of going down to the Valley of erotic juices.He is now a certified cupcake licker. He is proudly kissing his woman in public, spanking her in public is currently work in progress. He has also revised his attitude towards complimenting his woman’s look. He did confess to finding his wife attractive but the thought of complimenting her was going against everything he thought was manly. Thankfully that is no longer the case. I am glad that they chose the path of developing their relationship and I strongly believe their new sense of liberation will enhance their long term bond.

There is no prescribe formula that will revive, save or enhance your relationship but the key ingredient is a mutual acceptance of a problem and the willingness to do whatever it takes to fuel the flames of attraction.

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I am encouraging more men to attend my sessions with their partners, it is a platform to voice your views without judgement. I would like to organise for such a forum in May. All I need is 10 couples to show interest at a fee of 4K per couple, once I have the numbers we will set a date, time and venue. The preferred day will be on a Saturday. If interested you can text me or whatsapp me on 0720229351.

Dear Maurice,

I have reason to believe my husband is sleeping around with my neighbour’s maid. I know our sex life is and has been dead for a long while but why can’t he play his games with decent women.

Maurice asks,

Are you implying that you have accepted his cheating ways and hoped he would cheat with a certain caliber of woman?

She replies,

Not exactly, no woman wants to know her husband is being unfaithful but at the same time I am aware of something I created long ago.

Maurice asks,

And what is that that you created?

She replies,

We have been married for 8 years, about 4 years ago after our second child I pushed my husband away. Whenever he would make advances I would find an excuse to kill the moment. I did so for a while and for some years he was persistent until one day he stopped initiating. That was 2 years ago. Our sex life went from having sex 6 times a week to once a month or at times we go for months without intimacy.

Maurice replies,

So what you are admitting to is that you believe you pushed your husband away and that is why he is cheating as you allege?

She replies,

Yes I admit I pushed him away even though it does not justify his actions but what I really want to understand from you is why her, she is just a maid, a nobody, she is cheap in every sense of the word.

Maurice replies,

She may be a maid but she is still a woman who I assume has the bodily attributes that stimulate a man visually. What makes you think your husband is cheating?

She replies,

My neighbour’s family joined our family for a Christmas getaway and during that trip my husband conversed with her whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Maurice replies,

I am confused. Your husband was comfortable enough to engage your neighbour’s maid in conversation while the two families were together. Didn’t that look odd to any of you?

She replies,

Ok, maybe I should clarify on something, the maid is actually related to my friend’s husband. She begun working for them after her ambitions for college fell through. She was given a choice to stay and help out with their kids and home or go live with her parents in their rural home.

Maurice replies,

That changes the context, she is family to your neighbour hence why your husband found it appropriate to engage her in conversation.

She replies,

I guess so. I found incriminating texts between her and my husband that suggest steamy moments together but I have not raised the alarm.

Maurice asks,

What do you want to do with the evidence you have and how would you like me to help in this matter?

She replies,

I have read your articles enough to know that confronting him may cause him to go on the defensive and close up. I also know that once a man puts up his defensive wall bringing that wall down can be almost impossible. I am not going anywhere, I am definitely not leaving him, if anything I need to know what I can do to get his attention back. I shared with a friend and she was asking what I am still doing in the relationship after finding out. I am not excusing my husband but I did push him away and the reason I want to stay in this marriage is because he persistent for a very long while before giving up. If I could give him back the woman he married I might have a chance of saving our marriage, most importantly our sexual connection which used to be so strong.

Maurice asks,

Are you and your husband still friends, can you sit down and have a candid talk? Secondly does he know that you blame yourself for your current predicament? I believe that if indeed you want to revive your connection, you must sincerely admit to your husband that you know you pushed him away and that for a long while you know he tried to get your attention but to no avail. If he still has a spark of sexual attraction towards you then you might be able to reignite the flame you once had.

You need to be ready to work for his attention, he may not respond immediately because he may ask himself why now, why the sudden change of sexual climate, will it be short lived, these are all questions that he may likely ask himself. You need to use your feminine side to assure him that the woman he wants was sexually attracted to is back and here to stay. This is not a matter of love, it is a mission to revive the look of lust and sexual craving he once had for you.

She replies,

Thank you so much Maurice. I now have a better idea of what I need to do. And thank you for listening, I will contact you if I need any further advice.

I have noticed a trend and it needs to end today, it needs to end now. Women keep telling me that my fellow Kenyan brothers are unwilling to learn how to pleasure them to the point they fantasies over some imaginary man who can ‘take them there’. I want to believe that many of these women are wrong but too often do I hear the same story across the Country.

I have a passion of liberating people sexually and especially when I receive positive feedback from couples it makes my work worthwhile. However, there seems to be a category of married men who have refused to explore their limits, which translates to they are not willing to gain skills that will pleasure their wife. Correct me if I am wrong but I have always known men to want to please their woman sexually or have times changed. I am no special case, I am a Kenyan man like any other but at one point in my life I was man enough to say “I do not know everything about women and sex but I am willing to learn”. Now here I am with a finger more effective than most penises and I have no apologies to make. I also have the ability to read a woman’s body. How did I acquire this skill. It is simple, I was willing to learn. I did not have the attitude that just because I was born a man and I have a penis I naturally know it all. That is shallow thinking and I would like to think that there are men out there who want to join the club of giving a woman an orgasm. It is a woman’s right to have an orgasm. And it is our duty as men to make sure she orgasms whether through your penis, fingers or tongue.

Trust me, the club has its rewards. Wanting to acquire new knowledge about sex does not mean you are currently inadequate it just means that in your hood your male neighbours will start to view you as the alpha because they frequently hear your wife calling out your name in a orgasmic context. Wouldn’t you want to be the envy of your social circles, when people are complaining about what is lacking in their bedroom you just sit there with a grin on your face.

Gents, we were not born with female bodily attributes so lets not pretend we are experts because frankly I am getting tired of women complaining about men who can’t kiss, on a serious note how lazy can your lips be, how can they lack coordination, and men who handle nipples as if they are searching for a radio frequency. I am also tired of hearing how some men go down on a woman and instead of experiencing pleasure she feels like she is under going surgery. This has to stop. Ask her how she likes it and she will tell you and direct you to a path of pleasure.

I am not saying that women do not have their faults, they do especially those women who firmly hold your penis during a blow job and handle the penis as if it were a vehicle stick shift, not a pleasant experience at all. But gents the spot light is unfortunately on you because during sex a man will ejaculate but it is not a guarantee that a woman will orgasm. We as men should be open to learning new things, you have nothing to lose (unless she leaves you) and everything to gain. That should be your mentality. Let me remind you, a sexually satisfied woman is a very grateful productive woman.

Together lets prove women wrong, lets show them that Kenyan men are open minded and are willing to move mountains to ensure that sex is equally as exciting for her as it is for you. Gents the ball is in your court, I recall saying that this year 2014 I want to have men in my sessions so if you know you have a click of boys who would like to learn how to stimulate a vagina till a woman squirts, all you have to do is call me and we can start a revolution. If it was up to me there would be a National orgasm day where all women would orgasm in harmony. What an ideal sexually liberated society that would be ‘wet beds everywhere’.

Wherever you are make sure to remind your partner how sexy they are, let them know that they rock your World. Getting used to each other is not an option. It is a key ingredient to relationship survival for both parties to boost each other positively. You initial union was based on attraction and that should never be allowed to die. Gents, I am giving you a challenge and I want you to take it on and let our Nation be known for men who pleasure their woman at a moments notice.

Human behaviour has always been an interest of mine. Even with societal unwritten rules of how we should live together humans are ever breaking away from set rules. I guess in my experienced opinion the reason is simple, we may be an intelligent being but like animals when we feel caged in whatever context we attempt to break out.

After speaking to a forum of men socially it was crystal clear that   the notion of the picket fence family has slowly mutated into different forms of unions. In an ideal setting the picket fence family is the model we should all desire.

One man’s narration stood out but it is more common than people think. His perspective on marriage was not what women would like to hear but it was based on a logic that has been adopted by many men, especially those men who acquired their wealth without a woman’s influence.

He was proud to be a family man but his pride was given birth by the sense of achievement. What do I mean? Well, his mother once told him that he was not getting any younger and that she wanted grand children. After several reminders he one day set out to find himself a wife, a woman who would give him ‘good looking’ children and the key criteria was looks over brains. She had to visually excite him even though that excitement might be short lived. What do I mean by ‘short lived’? He had 3 goals when he was searching for a wife. He needed to find a suitable attractive candidate. He needed to fulfill his mother’s wishes and lastly he needed to acquire a new status in society. That status would gain him credentials that would aid in a potential promotion at work or aid in business networking, how you may ask? In the society we live in it is thought that men who are married are more responsible and that sense of responsibility reflects in their work as they ‘work harder’ to climb the ladder of success to provide for their family. In my opinion that ideology is flawed.

So where were we, when he achieves his goals his social efforts take a sudden dip and his wife takes notice and confronts him. If she is unfortunate to have married a blunt man she is then hit by a response she never thought she would receive from her ‘loving husband’. Without any hesitation he tells her that he has adequately provided for her and that she has no right to question him.

Whenever I have interviewed this kind of man, the thought process is always the same. He will say “Maurice, I have given her everything, our kids go to elite schools, she has multiple cars to pick from, she has a generous allowance to shop every month, she lives in luxury, she has a mansion with a pool and she gets to travel around the World at least 3 to 4 times a year”. I then ask him, do you love her? He then makes it very clear that he had an agenda. His reply was “I married her because she was suitable and available at the time but my marrying her did not come with a promise to love her in the context of emotional attachment”.

The days when couples would tell a story of their humble days that gradually over years saw them join high society are rare. Economics of the World today have made humans money hungry and that craving for the ‘high life’ has its consequences.

Because men have the label of being ‘providers’ the above will directly affect women because they pick their alleged eternal soul mate by a criteria that is driven by comforts. There is nothing wrong with comforts, everyone wants to prosper and graduate to a better lifestyle but at what cost is usually the question most ignore. Despite wanting wealth, many women who have acquired it one day wake up to the reality that their life is surrounded by material things but love was never and will never be part of the package.

Make the right choice. Marry for the right reasons and most importantly do not rush for a gold mine that you had no input in. Marrying into a bank volt may grant you all your material desires but it will not grant you a partner who unconditionally loves you. Again the choice is yours, and learn to live with the one you decide to make.