mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

My husband and I would like to give you our sincere gratitude for your candid directive over the period we met you. When we look back we realised that we almost jumped ship because we were not willing to accept the issues we had in our marriage. Even though we thought you were overly blunt we totally appreciated your no nonsense approach. One question that comes to mind was when you asked us at our first session if we were holding hands to mask problems or were we so in-love which would render the purpose of the session non productive. You also asked us if we both wanted the same out of the session, you emphasized on whether we were both targeting the finish line. Well, I can confirm that we made it to the finish line.

To my readers,

The above is based on feedback that I had requested from the couple. Like many couple when they came to me they were almost at the end of the road. The reason why I share this story is because this couple had unique variables. They had dated for 3 years and when I met them they were only 6 weeks into their marriage. They do not have a child so it would have been easy for them to just walk away from each other but instead they chose to face their issues head on.

It was the wife who made the initial contact. She claimed that her young marriage was a false marriage because what they really felt was swept under the carpet and had been from the onset. She did mention during our phone conversation that when she said “I do” she felt a wave of mixed emotions because at that moment she knew she had embarked into a wormhole with unsolved issues.

Fortunately, her husband agreed to a session where all was laid on the table. Let me put it into context, her husband was a great financial provider but in the department of affection and sex he was closed for renovations which seemed to take as long as the construction of the Nairobi by pass.

During the session it was abundantly clear that over 90% of their daily arguments about trivial matters were given birth by the fact that their intimacy was almost non existent. Here is a list of her sentiments:

1) You hardly compliment me, I need to feel attractive

2) Apart from the morning kiss, why do I always initiate physical affection

3) In public, you never hold my hand or kiss me, are you ashamed of me

4) You only check up on me at work when you need something

5) In the bedroom, I have tried and tried to direct you to the bodily areas that turn me on but instead you indirectly brush me off by pretending to listen then you go on and do things that put me off sex

6) I need you to sometimes make me breakfast or we make breakfast together and make out in the kitchen

Satisfactory sex especially in relation to female pleasure is 15% to 30% of what makes a relationship work however if your sex life is unsatisfactory then it becomes 80% to 90% of your relationship. Sex then becomes a commodity.

When the husband opened up he did admit that he knew of his short coming but was too embarrassed to talk about them. In his opinion a married woman was not touched in public. I don’t blame him. I blame our useless primitive societal school of thought that needs to update itself with today’s social dynamics of matrimony and relationships in general.

He also highlighted the things that were outlined during their premarital counseling. From his understanding, his core duties were to be the man of the house and provide for his wife and future family. In the context of that ancient ideology he is not at fault, if anything he should be handed a medal of honour. But in the context of modern age where women are not door mats and know their sexual rights he neglected his primal duties as a man.

The program I gave them set them on a journey where they would rediscover their social arena; going for movies, sharing a conversational lunch or dinner and flirting as they share sexual desires. I made it very clear that the above means nothing if they do not share a mutual target to succeed. As the saying goes ‘it takes two to tango’.

On the topic of sex when I had a session with the husband alone he like many men before him had no clue what was physically done for a woman to feel like her man was making love to her.

My reply was shift and to the point. What women regard as making love is the act of sex where they feel loved, feel an immense connection with their partner, and experience a flow of endless passion during the sexual motions. This is where the wiring of a man and woman collide. We actual mean the same thing but how it is describes psychologically registers differently between men and women.

Many women respond to the notion of ‘making love’, on the other hand the word ‘fucking’ registers with most men as a positive act which arouses them. Many women (thankfully not all) think the word ‘fucking’ is disrespectful and describes non loving sex (whatever that means). The fact is, making love or fucking is exactly the same sexual act, the difference only applies when it comes down to who is driving your vagina. If the driver is selfish it will not matter what you tag your sex session, chances are he will disappoint regardless. Once I explained the above to him things were clearer.

It was encouraging that during their therapy program they ventured into the unknown. She had never given him oral sex (because he had declined) and he had never ever thought of going down to the Valley of erotic juices.He is now a certified cupcake licker. He is proudly kissing his woman in public, spanking her in public is currently work in progress. He has also revised his attitude towards complimenting his woman’s look. He did confess to finding his wife attractive but the thought of complimenting her was going against everything he thought was manly. Thankfully that is no longer the case. I am glad that they chose the path of developing their relationship and I strongly believe their new sense of liberation will enhance their long term bond.

There is no prescribe formula that will revive, save or enhance your relationship but the key ingredient is a mutual acceptance of a problem and the willingness to do whatever it takes to fuel the flames of attraction.

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I am encouraging more men to attend my sessions with their partners, it is a platform to voice your views without judgement. I would like to organise for such a forum in May. All I need is 10 couples to show interest at a fee of 4K per couple, once I have the numbers we will set a date, time and venue. The preferred day will be on a Saturday. If interested you can text me or whatsapp me on 0720229351.