mauricetherapy

Human behaviour has always been an interest of mine. Even with societal unwritten rules of how we should live together humans are ever breaking away from set rules. I guess in my experienced opinion the reason is simple, we may be an intelligent being but like animals when we feel caged in whatever context we attempt to break out.

After speaking to a forum of men socially it was crystal clear that   the notion of the picket fence family has slowly mutated into different forms of unions. In an ideal setting the picket fence family is the model we should all desire.

One man’s narration stood out but it is more common than people think. His perspective on marriage was not what women would like to hear but it was based on a logic that has been adopted by many men, especially those men who acquired their wealth without a woman’s influence.

He was proud to be a family man but his pride was given birth by the sense of achievement. What do I mean? Well, his mother once told him that he was not getting any younger and that she wanted grand children. After several reminders he one day set out to find himself a wife, a woman who would give him ‘good looking’ children and the key criteria was looks over brains. She had to visually excite him even though that excitement might be short lived. What do I mean by ‘short lived’? He had 3 goals when he was searching for a wife. He needed to find a suitable attractive candidate. He needed to fulfill his mother’s wishes and lastly he needed to acquire a new status in society. That status would gain him credentials that would aid in a potential promotion at work or aid in business networking, how you may ask? In the society we live in it is thought that men who are married are more responsible and that sense of responsibility reflects in their work as they ‘work harder’ to climb the ladder of success to provide for their family. In my opinion that ideology is flawed.

So where were we, when he achieves his goals his social efforts take a sudden dip and his wife takes notice and confronts him. If she is unfortunate to have married a blunt man she is then hit by a response she never thought she would receive from her ‘loving husband’. Without any hesitation he tells her that he has adequately provided for her and that she has no right to question him.

Whenever I have interviewed this kind of man, the thought process is always the same. He will say “Maurice, I have given her everything, our kids go to elite schools, she has multiple cars to pick from, she has a generous allowance to shop every month, she lives in luxury, she has a mansion with a pool and she gets to travel around the World at least 3 to 4 times a year”. I then ask him, do you love her? He then makes it very clear that he had an agenda. His reply was “I married her because she was suitable and available at the time but my marrying her did not come with a promise to love her in the context of emotional attachment”.

The days when couples would tell a story of their humble days that gradually over years saw them join high society are rare. Economics of the World today have made humans money hungry and that craving for the ‘high life’ has its consequences.

Because men have the label of being ‘providers’ the above will directly affect women because they pick their alleged eternal soul mate by a criteria that is driven by comforts. There is nothing wrong with comforts, everyone wants to prosper and graduate to a better lifestyle but at what cost is usually the question most ignore. Despite wanting wealth, many women who have acquired it one day wake up to the reality that their life is surrounded by material things but love was never and will never be part of the package.

Make the right choice. Marry for the right reasons and most importantly do not rush for a gold mine that you had no input in. Marrying into a bank volt may grant you all your material desires but it will not grant you a partner who unconditionally loves you. Again the choice is yours, and learn to live with the one you decide to make.