mauricetherapy

According to me an ex can be anyone you were ever involved with, the time period or any relationship titles are not relevant, its simply two people who had some form of obligation to each other and things eventually went south. Let’s review what happens to relationships. How cozy everything and everyone is then the walls cave in, why?

A fling; two people meet up, maybe spend some time to know each other then one of them in time if they read the signals of attraction right, they take a chance and reveal their liking for the other. They then make it clear that they don’t want a very ‘serious’ or ‘heavy’ relationship, they just want a fling. Personally I’ve never literally weighed a relationship so I have no idea how heavy it can get!

Anyway back to the story in hand, after receiving the ‘declaration’ of fatal attraction the other person (normally the woman) has to decide whether they are OK with a non serious relationship, meaning they are not entirely exclusive to each other. The woman then says ‘yes’ to the idea of seeing this guy. At this point it’s pretty clear that whatever happens between them should not grow beyond the status of a fling.

Do you realize that this fling type of relationship slowing evolves into friends with benefits? This phenomenon occurs with frequent visitations that end up steamy if you get my drift. Oh yes it does, agree or disagree your mind will play tricks on you and you won’t even know it. At this point you know each other pretty well and it helps if you were almost hitting the friendship only zone, but got derailed and fell for each other instead, because by then you share stuff that you would normally not share with a random person who you met at a social place and liked immediately. Because human beings with their ‘first impressions count’ theory have a way of sugar coating their personalities hence why every ‘dog’ used to be a nice charming guy ‘you see the circle’ of inconclusive profiling! But hey there are some good loving people out there ‘somewhere’ I think it’s far, you may need a visa to reach them ‘I don’t know’ when you find them do let me know.

So at the stage of friends with benefits the two get comfy in this relationship setting and without knowing one suddenly has a change of heart. What change of heart you ask! Well they one day, while in the house, just enjoying each other’s company stare deep into their ‘friend with benefits eyes’ and see a new person, a reborn sense of liking that has matured to ‘Love’ but they dare not say because it will ruin everything. Which means they are now going to play a role instead of being ‘themselves’ as they were before.

What has changed, come on let’s not BS each other…. what has changed really; the man is still as handsome or ugly as before, his penis is still the same size unless a new pill has been launched for mega girth and length, his bedroom skills are still above average ‘hopefully’, the girl’s appearance is still the same ‘sizzling hot’, more to the point her vagina has not moved to her chin that could be challenging during a BJ ‘so much choice in one area’. I mean everything can’t be upstairs, no more going ‘down town’ and I do love my Chinese if you get my drift!

The relationship has mutated, one of you is so in love but can’t say it and the other is playing by the same rules enjoying every moment as they did before but wait!!!! They notice a change in the playfulness of the other, the play is more sentimental, more lovey dovey, more ‘honey’ can we just cuddle, more ‘baby’ please massage me gently and after I’ll surprise you with a delicious meal…. the other is thinking ‘what happened to us tearing each others clothes off at a drop of a hat’ whenever we met anywhere and everywhere.

Now it’s all mushy and tender ‘why are we marinating our meat and having romantic picnics instead of answering to our primal instincts and having animalistic sex out of town in a foreign place. It’s not even called ‘love making’ its sensual but rough ‘you feel me’, its sweaty and no one cares about the shower, the natural human scent does just fine to arouse the shaft but now Armani, Gucci and Calvin Klein have invaded your sex life to the point where at times you’re finding it hard to breath with all the new nostril overpowering fragrances that in turn lower libido or ‘staying power’ because you need air to flow through your blood to maintain your erection. But for some reason designer products and a ‘love struck partner’ who has totally gone through some form of metamorphosis into someone you just don’t recognize is not enough ‘evidence’ for you to flag up an anomaly in the relationship. Instead just like them you start to play your ‘nothing has changed role’ and yet people are surprised that at one point they give up on each other. It’s because of this faking, this acting that was not necessary that caused your relationship type to collapse. If you find a formula that works for you please ‘stick to it’.

Being ‘honesty’ is only appreciated in certain forums however between women and men it seems to not benefit the men even though women demand for it. I could give example as a therapist but we would be here all day and night.

The word ‘Love’ should be associated with the human ability to ‘care’ for another human being period but from years of experience in my therapy field the word is usually used (mostly by men) to either convince, deceive, attract, confirm or assure the opposite sex, all 5 words are strategically placed in sentences to gain access, to gain a level of trust, we all know where I am going with this so I don’t need to expound.

Have the balls to state your case without using the word ‘Love’

However as they say there is always two sides to a story or situation, for instance women who may disagree with me will say that they need the word(s) to be uttered by a man (or woman) to feel secure and yet many can attest that after dating several guys the word ‘Love’ never got them anything in the long run but pure ‘heartache’. This means short term solutions are just like cheap stuff ‘its expensive to the human heart’ because a broken heart is the end result but they say a heart mends and one forgives the past hence why people have more than one ex.

The secure status I mentioned is what I call ‘artificial security’ which is just a trick of the mind but who is tricking who, most of the time you trick yourself into believing the word ‘Love’ carries weight, unfortunately we do not live in an ideal world where two people some how attracted to each other ‘for some reason’ can state their intentions ‘openly’ without judgment.

In short society has taught us how to manipulate each other with each of us being better at the game then the other hence why we have ‘players’ as they are called. People who intentionally embark on a journey to achieve their own gratification without ‘care’ for the other involved party.

Then again what do I know maybe I’ am wrong maybe I am right, who am I to categories and pigeon hole people and their intentions; that can only mean every body is happy and I must be on some really strong meds!

If it is paramount that you have some one on the side then play the game well, here are simple rules.

Keep both women happy (if your pocket allows, or if at all you can multitask).
Don’t be surprised that your woman will find out eventually and she may decide your relationship is not worth saving however for the unlucky men ‘she won’t leave you’, no no no she will just play you at you own game and ‘tough luck’ for you because you will never play that game better than a woman.

It is indeed every man’s nightmare to picture his woman in bed with another but you made your bed so please sleep in it without complaints. If your wife for instance is screaming another man’s name you must first ask yourself…. why are you sleeping around on her, ….why are you sleeping with another man’s girlfriend/wife not expecting the same to happen to you? It’s a fair question!

Decisions you make today will mold what tomorrow brings.

To the WOMEN:

When you decide to date a ‘taken’ man whether he has a long term girlfriend or wife remember this, it’s a position you went along with…. do not do the following:

1) Expect to replace the first lady (if I may call her that), why you ask? Well because even if you do replace her the unfortunate thing is the newly acquired title will only bring you the hurt your predecessor endured. Men love side-kicks cause they don’t bitch as much and when they do they use their feminine side to get their way, where as with many first ladies somewhere along the line the female side fades away and you know there can never be two ‘males’ in a relationship/home, it gradually destroys a man’s ego displacing his manhood which in-turn takes away vital attributes that keep most men interested in a woman like ‘libido’….it doesn’t matter how hot you are once a man’s libido is lowered and his ‘animal instinct of lust’ fades for you, you are surely doomed.

2) Don’t bitch when ‘first lady’ attends an event that your were invited to, he basically invited you because he wants to boost his ego by having his two women around, one of you he has to be with and the other when he looks at you he wishes he could get away and undress you (although he undresses you mentally many a times during the event) so being a ‘spare wheel’ isn’t that bad after all ah!!!!

3) Last but certainly not least remember the time you spend together is mostly dependent on his home commitments i.e daily/weekly schedule/routine….he is there when he can get away. Some men are in very loving relationships and multitask efficiently or should I say effectively! Others however are driven by the hunger for an ego boosting social arena hence why ‘you’ the side-kick are in his life. You are an ego fueling mechanism.

Oh just a polite word to the women who are planning to play their men as a form of ‘revenge’, please ask yourself is it worth it with the ‘health hazards’ of today and so that I don’t look like am denying you the opportunity ‘you can go ahead’, but have in mind that men are not emotionally attached to multiple partners, yes as women you are much better ‘players’ however by the time you adjust to your first ‘fling’ he will probably be on his 5th, 10th, 15th woman.

For men this game is a sport we take the game very serious but our victims are not taken seriously at all, it’s like Tuna fishing ‘harsh’ conditions are our territory.

It has puzzled me for years that even after knowing that as men we were born with the ability to take rejection, we continue to persist on one girl instead of moving on to the next, sorry girls, its not that your not worth chasing, its the time factor.

The period that some men chose to chase you for even after you have made it very clear that you are not interested, men ‘take the hint’ it’s like a big billboard, again we were born to be rejected many times in life especially as young inexperienced men before our mastering levels are acquired we get rejection after rejection after rejection.

Here’s a great example, why are you begging for ‘some’, dude when she grabs for something else other than you ‘like a novel’, your fate is sealed roll over and sleep no ‘mill and boon’ erotic escapades for you.

The older guys will understand this…. if you are in a club ‘lets stay’ if you take 2 hours to try courting one girl and within the 1st 30mins to an hour max there are no signs of interest then you are drumming up a night of loneliness…. some men know its a numbers game and the odds are always in your favor if you dont limit yourself ‘hey thats just the rules of the game’. So for those of you who tend to go home without even a peck on the cheek I would urge you change your tactics.

But if you are really bizarrely still lucky after your useless tactics have failed you, you might end up being a woman ‘chips funga’ but dont hold your breathe it is rare and usually she is so boozed up when she pulls you to the car ‘her car’, cause you dont drive, in her mind you are Denzel however if in the morning you awaken to a very inhospitable environment…. at that point just know when she woke up she was like ‘what the fuck’, asking herself “where were my friends when I picked up this primate”….hence no breakfast for you….my advise…. dress and quietly disappear.