Dear Maurice,
I am angry; I am disappointed and very frustrated. My life has been turned upside down with just one phone call. I have known my husband for 8 years but we have been married for 5 of those years. Nine years ago I used to work in Mombasa for a foreign couple who ran a holiday resort. I was their resort manager till November 2009 when I moved to Nairobi to further my career in the Hotel industry. The move was also good for my marriage because my husband was based in Nairobi.
Maurice asks,
So what went wrong?
She replies,
In early 2010 the couple I worked for in Mombasa offered me an opportunity to study abroad, they offered to pay for my post grad studies as they knew I had always wanted to elevate my academic profile. Anyway I discussed it with my husband and believe it or not I sacrificed my opportunity for him to gain if the couple would agree to sponsor him instead of me. So I went ahead and requested that they sponsor my husband and they accepted to do it if that was my wish. By August 2010 my husband had left for the United States to pursue his first degree. It is important that you note that my sacrifice was so that my husband could gain a level of education that I already had.
Maurice replies,
Again if I may ask, what went wrong?
She replies,
Over 3 weeks ago my mother-in-law called me and asked me to get in-touch with my husband immediately, on hearing her tone of voice I asked if
everything was ok and she replied ‘call him’. I called my husband and asked him what was so urgent for his mother to call me, as she had never done that before. He replied ‘baby I messed up’. In a state of worry with him being in a foreign Country I asked him what he had done. He said that he had impregnated a girl. My first response was to ask who she was and he said he met her over a year ago and that he never meant to hurt me. I spoke to my mother and her sentiment was that I was a fool to sacrifice my life for ‘this man’ as she put it. My question to you is how do I handle this situation?
Maurice replies,
Apart from being angry how do you feel about your husband, how does he feel about you, is he going to raise his child and how does he feel about the other woman?
She replies,
I still love and care about him. He swears that he loves me but he also has feelings for the other woman. And yes he wants to raise his unborn child. And to think I begged him for a child before he left and he refused to conceive with me at the time. I do not want to start a fresh; I have invested too much into this marriage. I want him back home even if he comes with his mistress and child I still want to make it work. Do you think that set up will work?
Maurice replies,
As long as you have the will and drive to make it work, I don’t see why not. However the transition won’t be smooth, adapting to sharing your man won’t be a walk in the park and there’s no telling how two women in one home will react to one another. Personally I foresee a recipe for major domestic conflicts; that said it is your prerogative to embark on this unorthodox path in your marriage.


































