Maurice, my partner and I recently started having sexual intercourse after dating for 4 months. He has a lot of girth to his penis so there’s a lot of vaginal wall friction. Another problem is that I am on a low estrogen birth control and have difficulties with vaginal lubrication, but he doesn’t like to use lubrication. Is there anything I can do to make it easier for us, and easier for me to get lubricated vaginally?
It can be challenging enough to find a partner who is attractive, smart, interesting, exciting, and compatible. To find someone who has all of these qualities, and whose body fits with one’s own, can be an even bigger challenge. Fortunately, human beings are adaptive. We look for ways to make our lives and our bodies fit comfortably with that of our partner.
Because estrogen is associated with vaginal lubrication, some women do notice a change in their vaginal lubrication when they use a low dose estrogen birth control pill.
Then again, many women notice differences in their vaginal lubrication throughout their menstrual cycle and regardless of whether or not they are using a hormonal method of birth control.
If you would like to try another type of pill, or another form of birth control, to see if it makes a difference to your vaginal lubrication, ask your general practitioner or gynecologist about your options.
Many women find that they can enhance their ability to become “wet” through vaginal lubrication by spending more time doing the kinds of things that they find sexually arousing prior to indulging in vaginal penetration, whether that means sexual intercourse, fingering, or by using a toy like the famous rabbit, emissary rabbit, g-spot finder and bullet. For many couples, this means spending more time in the sensual act of foreplay. More time spent kissing, licking, vaccum sucking, touching over and over and over and over, under the clothes, breast touching, back massages, or time spent doing things to your partner’s body that you find exciting or arousing. This can be an opportune moment to bring out the yoghurt “don’t you think”.
For some couples, it may also be worth exploring your feelings about your partner, as you didn’t mention how you feel about him. Are you romantically or sexually attracted to him?
It may be worth sitting down and talking with your partner, during a time when you are not about to have sex and sharing with each other what you each find exciting, arousing and most pleasurable as part of your sexual play.
When a woman becomes sexually aroused, vaginal lubrication tends to increase and a process called vaginal tenting occurs whereby the uterus tips upward, making the vagina grow in length and width, it blossoms, such a spectacular phenomena, allowing more room for a sizable penis, a girth penis.
It is worth noting that although there is some amount of vaginal expansion that occurs with sexual intercourse, the fact that you have limited sexual intercourse experience is not to “blame” in terms of sex being uncomfortable for you two, and your vagina is unlikely to enlarge permanently as a result of having sex with your new partner.
The vagina is muscular and tends to return to its typical size internally, even though the labia minora itself may slightly enlarge with sexual experience or other types of experience such as vaginal birth. Though it eventually contracts.
Also, as wondrous a process as vaginal tenting may be, there is a limit to the amount of tenting that occurs. A vagina can only grow so much.
If your partner’s size is considerable in relation to your body, then a personal lubricant may be necessary in terms of enhancing your pleasure, minimizing discomfort or pain, or simply making intercourse possible at all.
That said, lubricants vary considerably in terms of their consistency and it may be that you two might want to try different types of lubricants so that you can find one that feels good for both of you.
More important than penis size, is its functionality. It is known that a member gone trough some form of intervention is more prone to erectile dysfunction in the future due to the growing need for blood to maintain an erection. Also, the risk of needing future treatment is much greater.
Bottom line you do not want to jeopardize your male health. Another interesting fact is the woman’s sexual anatomy. The vagina has depths ranging from 9 to 12 cm. Most nerve endings related to sexual pleasure ‘the G-spot’ are just at the entrance. The thickness of the penis becomes more important.