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Your vagina is fine….

Posted in Dear Maurice, Sex on May 29, 2012| 24 Comments »

ebonylabiaDear Maurice,

I have been dating my soon to be husband for just over one year. I read your articles a lot and you seem to understand us women quite well so please advise.

I am 24 and I have quite a large labia that hangs down about 6cm? I am really scared, I even asked my friend but I don’t think she knew what it was. My husband to be and I are going to have sex for the very first time and he has never seen my vagina before, and my two flaps close together. So I was wondering how I am supposed to have sex without him holding my flaps open? And also is my long labia normal?

Maurice replies,

My dear you are completely normal, there is an incredible variation of labia shapes, sizes and even colour, every woman is different. When you are aroused and you get wet your labia will not be noticed, when aroused the labia naturally spread apart.

ebonyorgasmMake sure that you are in control when you have sex. Do not let him thrust into you, he needs to be gentle and I recommend it being your first time you apply plenty of lubrication like K Y Jelly or Durex lubricants (highly recommended). It is advisable that he also lubricates his penis, especially the penis head before he attempts insertion.

If I may add, over the years I have noticed that women with small labia minora do not respond well to sex most of the time. Those with bigger labia minora want sex more often to satisfy their sexually desire. It has a lot to do with one’s nerve ends. When the membranes of the inner lips are stimulated by touch or asserted pressure, glands are stimulated to produce secretions. The resulting lubrication helps keep the labia and the vagina moist and aids in penetration. The labia is packed with blood vessels and nerves that swell when stimulated. This makes the inner lips incredibly sensitive and receptive, resulting to immense pleasure in the right conditions.

The labia minora also aids in protecting the vagina from bacterial infections. The glands of the inner labia minora produce secretions that kill bacteria.

Please do not overwhelm yourself with worry, look forward to your first sexually experience, take your time on the night and have fun as you explore each other.

*Women who touch themselves often are more aware of their pleasure zones, their arousal areas, with this to their advantage they are able to instruct men on how they would like to be pleasured. Sex is a science, a mixture of neuro-chemicals and an array of nerves that respond to touch. If touched in the right way the pleasures can be ‘out of this World’.

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Are MEN putting effort in the bedroom….

Posted in Dear Maurice, Sex on May 22, 2012| 22 Comments »

Dear Maurice,

I follow your blog whenever I can and I could not resist to ask you after reading the story about the guy who has issues with his penis. Do you find that Kenyan men are under performing in the bedroom. I just feel from my past experience that a lot of men talk big and deliver very little. Personally I love sex but it must be with a man who knows how to read a woman’s body, in this case my body which is different from other women, I find that many men are in such a hurry to please that they end up pleasing only themselves and leaving women like me yearning for more.

I have dated a guy who had a massive penis and yet with all that equipment he never really did it for me, yes I could feel him way inside me but the thrill was short lived when he came too fast, as in, within a few minutes he was done and asleep, that really put me off him and you can imagine that I had to put up with that sexual status for over 2 years. Eventually I cheated on him with a white guy. I guess this is where the comparison came to play. The white guy was no where near my ex in penis size but boy did he quickly learn to please me. He was not afraid to be creative and please me with other parts of his body apart from just having intercourse. He would go down on me for what seemed to be a life time, he willingly took his time, by the time we had intercourse I would have had an orgasm or two through cunnilingus. In short, he knew how to fire me up. I hate to put you on the spot but why do you Kenyan men not put in effort to please us women?

Maurice replies,

Unfortunately this is a question this is too often asked, some lazy guys out there are making others look bad, I call them the weakest link. I’m glad you ask because we need to face the facts that quite a number of Kenyan men need to step up their game. That said some no matter what they try will never be able to improve in bed, why? their genetic sexual build up does not allow for improvement. There is no magical pill that will enhance the sexuality of a 2 minute man, maybe in the future science will offer a solution but for now its trial and error for you ladies.

Relating is your experience with the white guy, well not to generalise but men from the Western World tend to be more exposed, with that exposure comes the creative mind set in the bedroom, they have a keen willingness to satisfy a woman with multiple skill sets, the use of ‘touch’ either by using their fingers, their tongue and they explore sexual positions that will hit your arousal spot(s). They understand that sex is a journey, there must be a build up that will lead to a satisfying sexual session for both of you.

The short falls of African men is either lack of exposure, misinformed about pleasuring a woman; this is where ‘out dated’ cultural or traditional believes prevent a man from exploring. Double standards are witnessed with a man demanding for oral sex and yet he refuses to go down on you (what a shame), eventually someone else does it for him. Others do not see the point of having a sexual session that lasts for an hour or more, they are content with 10 to 15 minutes (if you are lucky), and the truth is that time period for a lot of women in today’s World is just the beginning of foreplay.

Sex is not plug and play but unfortunately a lot of African men will treat it as such. An African man will ask…. if he was able to ‘cum’ within 10 minutes then why is the woman not able to do the same? It’s not a stupid question but in my opinion it shows a lack of willingness to find out what a particular woman wants during sex.

Women differ when it comes to arousal zones, hence why its essential to find out how she wants to be aroused, clever men or should I say ‘wise men’ who end up earning themselves bedroom bonga points more often than not are eager to LEARN.

As a man if you are willing to take every sexual session with your woman as a learning process then you will be well above other men, why? because you are able to read her body language, some women orgasm through external arousal, stimulation of the clitoris, and whether you are using your fingers or tongue MEN please remember to take your time to observe how she rides the tidal waves you are generating. Like a vessel at sea your woman will want to ride out the stormy waves and be steered in the right direction, if you read her right you will lead her along the passage of climax. That should be every man’s goal.

The scary fact for some men in today’s World is that sex has grown into a ‘sport’, it’s an arena where only the sexual Gladiators reign. These are the men who are not selfish between the sheets, men with sexual endurance. These men are open to exploring a woman’s body for as long as it takes to get her fully aroused, their mental focus is not on self gratification but solely on applying their energy on a woman and ‘taking her there’ beyond the realms of ordinary pleasure.

*To MEN…. we were not born with a vagina so it’s only logical to ask a woman how she likes it, don’t assume and don’t let your male ego stand in the way of LEARNING how to ignite your woman, with knowledge comes the ability to apply your skill.

Take note, those who hesitate will masturbate.

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Is my penis satisfying….

Posted in Dear Maurice, Sex on May 16, 2012| 23 Comments »

Hi Maurice,

I have contemplated whether to seek your advise or not and finally I decided I need to swallow my pride and just ask you some rather personal questions regarding my current sex life. I have been going out with this girl for 7 months. I am totally in-love with her. I have never dated anyone as hot as her and I find our open conversation refreshing. However the problem I am experiencing was brought about stemming from our open policy to discuss anything. About 2 months ago we were discussing our past experiences with our ex’s and the topic of sex was part of our discussion. Needless to say she revealed details of her sexual encounters that kind of made me feel inadequate.

Maurice replies,

Let me guess, penis size was mentioned?

He replies,

Yes, she told me stories about several ex’s and one stood out.

Maurice replies,

Let me guess again, one of her ex’s stood out because he had a big one? I must ask, did you pry for details?

He replies,

Yes I did but I was not expecting to hear what she told me.

Maurice replies,

You do realise that you were playing with pandora’s box. When you pry for information you must be ready to digest what you find out. I know you were hoping to hear that her sex life was not that interesting till she met you however that is the hope of many men, that hope can be futile, and the question begs why in hell would you want to know about other men’s penises?

Fair enough, its a great feeling to be told that your penis is the best she has ever had but we both know the topic of size is very ego sensitive so why did you go there knowing the consequences could lower your confidence and sexual libido?

He replies,

It was after sex and we were both in high spirits and the pillow talk just took the wrong conversation route.

Maurice replies,

My good man, I hear you, I know what you were seeking to hear from her but let’s be real, who in his right mind will strike a conversation about other penises especially after sex. I’m sure there’s a part of you as you were having your pillow talk that was just screaming out “this might back fire on me”. And surely it did. If I may ask, what did she say that really affected you?

He replies,

She told me that her ex could make her cum within minutes because he had a long thick dick. But she also said compared to me he could not have sex for long. Even though that was somewhat comforting it did not help.

Maurice replies,

Well, how could it help when all your mind was fixated on was the mention of a ‘long thick dick’ that statement in itself can bruise a lot of male egos even if she affirms that your sexual endurance is much higher. In short, men just hate to hear words that confirm a big penis that is not ours. How badly has this affected your sex life?

He replies,

I am a bit conscious of my manhood right now. I know I shouldn’t be but I can’t stop thinking about what she said.

Maurice asks,

Before your discussion your penis was adequate ‘right’, unless you felt you did not satisfy her prior?

He replies,

Yes it was, our sex was awesome, her feedback is encouraging and I do make her orgasm which as a man is the pivotal goal.

Maurice replies,

Then you need to snap out of it and stop thinking about another man’s penis, and stop thinking about yours being smaller because what you will gradually do, is lower your desire for sex till you won’t be able to gain an erection.

By the way how old are you both?

He replies,

I am 32 and she is 26.

Maurice replies,

Take a deep breathe and let go of that negative voice in your head, drown it. You know that you satisfy your woman, after all you make her orgasm (give yourself some bonga points for that) so don’t let mental images of insecurity flood your mind. Concentrate on what you can achieve with her in bed and if anything obsess more over new ways of exploring her body, learning her body, ask her to show you where her arousal zones are, discover new ways of making her orgasm and concentrate on that and that alone. The aim is to psychological intensify your sexual ego, your sexual drive to satisfy her beyond her wildest dreams, trust me, it can be done, the question is, what is your priority? Make it the right one.

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Gents, your tongue is a weapon of pleasure ‘use it’

Posted in Sex on May 11, 2012| 16 Comments »

Women too often complain about the man’s ability to perform cunnilingus or lets call it oral sex, ‘going down town’, personally I love my Chinese if you get my drift.

There are millions of women who are gagging for a good suck! Its time men ‘took time and interest’ to learn the vagina and the amazing things that guys (and girls) can do to it with their tongues.

If you’re not much of a vaginal vacuum and are hesitant to try oral sex because of odors or whatever other preconceived notions that you have, ensuring that she has just come out of the shower will ease your tension and you’ll be able to let loose orally. There are men who absolutely refuse to perform oral sex; I suggest you get over yourself, because your woman likes to receive oral sex as much as you like to receive a blow job.
Sensual licking, gentle sucking or all around moisture from the mouth to the vaginal entrance, the labia (lips) or the clitoris will surely make you popular with her. It is paramount that you handle the vagina with care, many men tend to mess up by moving in there like a bulldozer, stop it. When you begin to give her oral sex, it’s important to start slowly. Women like it when a man takes his time to appreciate her body. What she won’t like is an overachiever who jumps right in with an aggressive tongue, remember the bulldozer!
Pretend that her entire vagina is an cone ice-cream with multiple scoops of your favorite flavour; if you don’t like ice cream suck it like you would a lolli pop. Apply your tongue to lick her vagina from its entrance up to the clitoris. Remember to chill out and relax; her vagina is not relocating to her jaw anytime soon, so take your time, enjoy yourself and don’t get tense and end up biting her. Move your tongue freely from her inner lips to her outer labia on one side. Once you’ve done that, draw her vaginal lips into your mouth and massage them with your tongue. And since the other side will probably get jealous, move on to the other side ‘it’s only fair you tend to her entire vagina’ be generous with your tongue.
Gents, were you aware that the tongue is the body’s strongest muscle? So with that info, imagine what you could do with your tongue if you were giving her stimulating oral sex. Since you have more control with your tongue than with your penis, the sensations will drive her crazy. Not only is your tongue naturally lubricated with saliva, you can maneuver it in ways that a penis never could or ever will (unless your penis is elastic). So why not use your tongue to have sex with her? Thrust your tongue in and out of her vagina, and take a break from time to time to explore her inner walls. While you’re roaming around down there, vary your cadence (rhythmic flow) and the firmness of your tongue. Use your firm, flexed tongue for pinpoint accuracy, such as when you circle the clitoris, and use a limber, flat tongue to cover more ground. Remember to continuously return to her clitoris since most women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation. However, don’t apply too much pressure to her clitoris right away because it may irritate her and turn her off. Start out gently and increase pressure and speed according to her reaction, her body language.
When you have her as hot as a lioness on heat, applied oral sex techniques are going to drive her wild. It is crucial that you pay attention to her reactions and body language at all times. With her clitoris still exposed, give it quick little sucks by enveloping it with your mouth momentarily and releasing it. This will definitely have a positive effect on her entire body. Next, take her clitoris into your mouth and gently suck on it while you simultaneously flick your tongue over and around it. You can perform this oral technique very lightly or aggressively, depending on what she likes, follow her instructions, ask her how she wants it. If you combine these oral sex techniques with your fingers, she is more likely to experience a mind blowing orgasm.
Gents, please remember following instructions does not mean you don’t know how to please her, that said, she is the one with a vagina so it only makes sense that you keenly follow her instructions so that over time you become the stud of licking pussy. I believe many men would love that ‘title’.
Above all, have fun down there, and keep her on her toes (or off as the case may be).

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Satisfied woman….

Posted in Sex on April 26, 2012| 9 Comments »

 Hi Maurice,

I hope you are ok. As promised I wanted to give you feedback on the 3 in 1 g-spot finder vibrator I bought from you in January. I must say it has been doing its job perfectly and my husband is equally enjoying using it on me. It’s our play toy. I am extremely lucky to have such a liberal minded man and we would like to thank you for the foreplay tips you gave us.

Last week I paid a visit to the shop you recommended on Moi Avenue and I will definitely be going back for the French Maid outfit, hubby loves the idea of me in the costume. Next time round I might try the nurse costume.

Before I forget, I recently spoke to my husband about inviting your business partner Sue, and he is fine with it, so that she can teach us more about sex styles and I am also curious on how to squirt, as I told you I only managed to squirt once years ago and that was by mere chance and back then I thought it was pee lol.

We would like to book Sue sometime in May. I will call you with further details of tentative dates.  Regarding privacy, the kids will be shipped off to my mother’s.

Till then keep well.

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Ladies….some essential foreplay

Posted in Kinky Sex on April 11, 2012| 11 Comments »

 Foreplay is vital when it comes to keeping the fire burning in a couple’s sex life. For many women while cooking you tend to fire up the pot before the actual cooking starts, the same applies when it comes to foreplay. It is the fueling ingredient that leads to extra potent intimacy. Another big part to the journey of ecstasy is communication while performing the act of foreplay. This is the ample time to put on your sexiest voice and explore your man’s body, ask him where he likes to be touched, ask him what turns him on. For most men foreplay is the sexual show of intent, that mental picture alone can be a very big tease. The anticipation builds so much that he can’t control himself so you have to slow him down ‘tame him’ with your erotic voice, whispers, let him lead you to his pleasure zones; whispering in his ear will both arouse him and tickle him depending on his sensitivity. Foreplay is all about having fun, teasing each other, leading up to an ultimate night of playful intimacy.

Here is some treasure hunt foreplay you can incorporate into a night of surprises and erotic pleasure. What you need is a writing pad, a pen, three A4 size envelopes. I know, those are not sexy items at all so here’s what you are going to do for your man on this particular day or night. Let’s assume it’s a Friday and you’ve been at work the whole day but you make sure that you energise your thoughts that whole week with positive energy. Sometime in the afternoon call your man and ask him to be home at 9pm sharp. Make sure you have arranged for a private night, just for you and your man.

Now you arrive home well before him. Take off the panty you have been wearing the whole day and put it in a presentable envelope and seal or container of your choice. When your man finally gets home he will open the door and go straight into the sitting room where he will find an envelope with his name on it (it is OK to give him a hint of where to look when he gets home). He will then read the seductive note inside which you will instruct him on where to go next.  By now his heart will be beating fast with anticipation, he knows something hot is on the menu tonight but he hasn’t a clue. Your next instruction will lead him to your panty which in this case is the ‘hidden treasure’ that will lead him to the secret garden.

Next to the envelope hosting the panty you will plant another note in another envelope, instructing him to remove the content of the envelope next to it. He should then proceed and smell your panty especially the vaginal area, kinkier still he should put your panty in his mouth to soak up your vaginal erotic scent. He should sniff your panty so good that he feels intoxicated by your natural scent. By the time he gets to your location in your home his testosterone levels will have peaked. Men can smell a woman’s natural scent unconsciously, yes it’s that powerful. After smelling your panty for a few minutes, you will then lead your man to you with other female garments that will arouse him just by sight alone. It should be a trail of your sexy underwear that gets him to the bedroom door.  You can also use chocolate cubes, not too many, you want to get him horny not full.

What should you be wearing? Well, many women tend to go over the top and buy themselves expensive sexy lingerie, there’s no need. If your man’s sexuality is in order then what you can do to really get him going with his member erect; is to wear torn stockings. Make sure that the tares are sexy, get creative, and make sure there’s a slight tare between your legs so that he can bathe in the Alpha male feeling of thrusting his penis through the stocking. That will give some men a feeling of might, power. Also take an old t-shirt and apply a tare around one nipple are and on the other side be a bit obscure and have a tare below or above the nipple area. Ladies, that desirable look I have just described is a sure winner and it will definitely turn your man on. When he enters the room, your sexy new look will for sure sustain his manhood otherwise known as an erection, take him by the hand and tell him to lie down and from there on start to tease him till his member begins to throb. Lick his outer ear, lick his neck ‘slowly’, in short, lick him from head to toe ‘literally’ and when you get to his shaft gently tease him with a slight lick on the shaft’s head and by-pass the area for now. Head south and as you explore his body with your tongue ask him where his most sensitive areas are and play with his mind which feels like exploding by now. Foreplay can last 30 minutes to even 2 hours. It all depends on your creativity in bed. However, prolonging intercourse for majority of men for 20 to 30 minutes of foreplay is sufficient time to get his libido juices going and in-turn he will get yours going as well as he explores your secret garden (your vagina).

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3some – 1 woman 2 men

Posted in Dear Maurice, Sex on March 20, 2012| 5 Comments »

Dear Maurice,

 As you know last year in October my relationship was at rock bottom, the spice had decreased especially in the bedroom but with your intervention you managed to counsel us to explore other avenues.

You remember I bought your 2 dvds in Jan and they really helped myself and my girlfriend to open up to our sexual fantasies. Anyway since watching the dvds we have tried a three way with another girl. That was awesome, watching my girl and the other girl playing with each other was stimulating to say the least. Dude you have no idea, you have transformed our sex life.

We also recently tried it with another guy and that worked for both of us, in short we have gone wild and exploring as per what you told us and we are enjoying every moment. If anything the guy is soon coming over with another so called wild girl he knows. Don’t worry I’ll keep you posted on that four-some when it takes place. For now I just need your advise on a small matter. When we were having the three way with the guy I notice he was taking my mama on a roller coaster, it was a bit intimidating but at the same time it turned me on. Is there anything apart from viagra that I can take to maintain my erection for longer, for at least an hour or more? I don’t have a problem with premature ejaculation I just need something that will boost my stamina.

Maurice replies,

First, I’m glad you are not taking viagra, its pretty addictive. What you could try is enzoy vitality drink, it comes in powder form. However before you take anything please consult with your pharmacist or doctor they will advise you further on any short or long term side effects. I’m glad to hear that things have worked out for the best for your relationship but please do play safe in whatever you do.

He replies,

I will. And one thing I have learnt after your counsel is that you have to do anything to save your relationship, as you said last year, those whom hesitate to assert effort will eventually break up. Thanks for all you have done.

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Unorthodox Marriage

Posted in Relationships, Sex on March 1, 2012| 2 Comments »

Dear Maurice,

  I want to share a story about my life as a girlfriend and my life as a wife and how I have come to view life. I was married a virgin at the age of 26. My husband was 35. I knew what I wanted and I was a big believer of that special day with someone I love dearly. Little did I know that life had other plans for me. We have now been  married for 9 years of which 3 were out of this World and I can proudly say that.

On our fourth year my husband hired an intern and you can guess what was going on behind my back however I only found out when he decided to tell me the truth after a 2 year affair. My husband has 2 kids with me and a one with his youthful mistress.

When I was his girlfriend for 4 years everything was bliss, exciting at all times. I had a man with potential and so did he become successful in his business but with riches came indiscretion, that’s my opinion.

Now we live a life our false friendship and tolerance, but we still have sex, why? because that’s the only thing that I can’t keep myself from, he knows my body inside out and he has plenty of stamina just the way we ladies like it. I have come to understand that marriage is just a status and for me I am having my cake and eating it too. As you can guess we are not exclusive to each other however, ever since we made that pact we have found a renewed love for each others company but I can’t state that we are in-love. Despite all I can’t complain, my World is no-longer about worrying where he is because I too have my fun outside wedlock and yet I still need him for his bedroom duties. It’s a balance of humanly needs and requirements. He is a great father and provider, well he can afford it plus he has no choice but to take care of his family or should I say families.

I know some women will read this and think I am out of my mind but I chose to understand my man and according to me once in a while a man will want to venture out and taste a different vagina. So where not do the same, though I don’t randomly venture out sexually, most of the time I just tease men and go home a happy girl knowing I had all the control, that’s my thrill. Is our marriage the same, no it is not but I am not leaving him and neither is he leave me, we just have a mutual agreement to have our safe fun out there and eventually go home. Oh, we also make time for our kids and play happy family, at times the acting is actually fun and out of it all I get to orgasm. Not a bad deal if you ask me.

Just thought to share. Keep up the good work.

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My improved sex life

Posted in Better Sex, Sex on February 27, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Hi Maurice,

I wanted you to know that I have managed to make myself squirt and it took me by surprise, one day I hope to share the experience with a man but that might have to wait as I get over my last 4 year relationship. What you enabled was a present to myself and my new friend the emissary vibrator is doing wonders. Who knew a gadget  As I told you when we met in November last year this was all new to me but I had to try it out and see if it was for me or not. I have no complaints, I am having a great time pleasuring myself.

Thank you for the private sessions and your patience with me. I will definitely recommend your services to my friends.

Keep up the good work.

vigrx shop banner

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He can’t have enough of me

Posted in Relationships, Sex on February 9, 2012| 1 Comment »

Hi Maurice,

My issue is a small one never the less it’s still an issue in my book. I am 22 and my 3 year boyfriend does not seem to have enough sex from me?

Maurice asks,

When you say 3 year boyfriend, I’m hoping he’s not 3 years old!

She replies,

Maurice you know what I mean don’t be silly. Anyway, is it normal for a guy to want to have sex 7 days a week and it’s been 3 years now I thought he would get tired after a few months but it’s getting worse if you ask me. He gets over excited to see me and starts to hint for some. I’m not complaining but it is tiring  to accommodate him at times. He is also pretty chunky downstairs so we always have to use lubrication.

Maurice replies,

First, this is not an issue, if I compare you with other women you are blessed to have a man who yearns for you to that magnitude and duration. What you need to do is just remind him that you are human and that you get tired. Once in a while he should let you rest your vagina before he either creates vaginal injuries or gradually puts you off your sex life. That will not be healthy for your relationship. Just remember it’s not what you say but how you say it, make it very clear to him that you yearn for him just as much but his stamina, libido and craving is much higher than yours. That should affirm to him that you still find him a stud in bed hence making him understand that you are not saying ‘no’ to sex but just need a breather whenever you feel exhausted or just not in the mood.

Apart from that is there anything else on your mind?

She replies,

Well, he has stopped taking me out as much as he used to, we still go out but unlike our every weekend outings we only go out like once a month. He prefers to stay home watch a movies and have plenty of marathon sex till neither of us can move.

Maurice asks,

How old is your boyfriend?

She replies,

He is 34, and before you ask, he is not married, I was lucky to find him after he had broken off his last relationship over lack of sex. I thought I was sexually active of which I am but not to his level.

Maurice replies,

So you are compatible sexually which is a bonus ‘trust me’, but he is a bit of a bull in bed always charging for your body. My dear to be honest I can’t fault him because he is performing unlike many who are not. In regards to your going out, it’s not surprising that you find his staying indoors a bit much you are still his junior by a good 12 years so you will find that your social interests will differ at times. Try and meet half way, instead of the 4 weekends that you were used to try agreeing to 2 weekends per month and take it from there. Also be careful not to calendar your social life otherwise it will remove the unknown thrill from the act of going out and it will become predictable.

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