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Stresses of Dowry

Posted in Dear Maurice, Relationships on October 17, 2012| 10 Comments »

What’s up Maurice.

Dude I never thought I would be writing to any man to solve my issues but at this juncture I need your honest opinion before I make my decision.

Maurice asks,

What’s going on mate?

He replies,

Well, I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years and I finally surprised her and proposed to her, on my knees if I may add.

Maurice asks,

When did you propose to her?

He replies,

I proposed to her in February during Valentines at our favorite restaurant. Dude she cried it was just the most perfect moment and the setting was priceless.

Maurice asks,

So where’s the issue?

He replies,

After knowing and living with someone for 4 years it is a bit shocking when she decides to side with her family especially after she had assured me that she would never allow her family to bully me. My side of the family have already gone through the traditional meetings and the main issue for me and for my family is that her family are literally selling her to us.

Maurice asks,

What do you mean, please expound?

He replies,

Apart from the customary livestock that I should provide. Her Dad and uncles have seen some capitalistic opportunity and are now demanding for a further 30 cattle and a cash payment of ksh1,500,000. Note that the wedding will cost roughly the same. Dude that’s over 3 million bob. I don’t even earn 10% of that amount.

Maurice replies,

If I may ask, how old are you and what do you do for a living? And are you by any chance from a wealthy family?

He replies,

Dude I am 28 and I am a middle management banker. My father is very established in real-estate, he has been for over 40 years so yes my father has money but I am still trying to grow myself like he did.

Maurice my biggest issue right now is that my fiancee has shown me a side of her that I had never witnessed before. She refuses to see logic, I told her that the total dowry being demanded for is out of my ability. She told me that my family could afford it. I then just walked away and I put a stop on the family meetings. I love my fiancee with all my heart but I do not want my father to pay for my bride. If I can’t afford her I would rather not have her in my life. What is your opinion on the matter?

Maurice replies,

Let’s look at the facts.

1) Your fiancee should be on your side no matter what. If you can’t side with each other now what kind of a marriage will you have!

2) Dowry is a customary offering to the parents of the bride that should never  be ‘an avenue to gain wealth’. And dowry is paid over a period of time. That used to be the norm but nowadays it’s too commercial.

3) Your fiancee is priceless like the setting you had when you proposed to her. No amount of cash should be tagged on her. No amount of cash should be able to buy any woman.

4) Newly weds should never ever start the foundation of marriage with financial constraints, this inevitably asserts a lot of pressure on the marriage with other marital obligations and demands not being met.

In my experience I have seen too many men walk out of their marriage within one year, not because of love but because they could not keep up the lifestyle the wife demanded, why? Because they gave all their savings to their father-in-law in the name of gaining their bride.

Maurice asks,

Do you feel like walking away ‘be honest’?

He replies,

Yes I do. I have contemplated leaving. But we have come so far for me to give up.

Maurice replies,

I hear bro. You need to remind your fiancee where you have both come from, from your infant beginnings to where you are now. Tell her, it’s not that you don’t value her, the fact is you can’t meet her family’s demands. I can not predict if she will see the light but without her unconditional support at this early stage I can only imagine what precedent she has set in your mind and trust me, you do not want to begin to resent your wife to be in the future due to her actions today. That will gradually crumble your marriage.

Talk to her, make her understand that you want to be your own man. You want to gain her as your wife through your own effort not through your father’s wealth. She is your woman, the woman you love with all your heart. She is not a commodity with a price tag.

I wish you the best and I really hope she sides with you.

He replies,

Thanks Maurice. I do hope things work out.

A WOMAN WHO TRULY LOVES A MAN UNCONDITIONALLY WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS TO BE MARRIED TO HIM AND BE BY HIS SIDE ALWAYS, THEY WILL THEN GROW TOGETHER AND BUILD THEIR OWN EMPIRE

Ladies, do not let your family dictate to your man or bully your man. You may let go of or discourage your true love because he could not meet the dowry demands and end up marrying the man who can afford everything but all he can offer you in return is a lot of misery. The choice is yours, make the right one.

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I can feel my man inside me from start to finish

Posted in Relationships, Sex on August 30, 2012| 4 Comments »

Hi Maurice,

I do hope you are fine, I love your work. I have been wanting to share with you for quite a while and after your last post I kind of felt that it was about time to tell you my story.

I am 33 years old and I was married for 6 years to a man who came from a wealthy family, he is British Kenyan and I am also Kenyan but with a mix of white and Asian. I truly loved my ex husband wholesomely with every ounce of me. He was my pillar for a long while but unfortunately I was only a trophy wife, looking back after our divorce the signs were there but as we women do we ignore our instincts hoping that things will work out.

Anyway to be perfectly honest after I could not take the loneliness anymore I begun an affair with a black Kenyan, what a man he turned out to be. He treats me like a Queen, we are in our 4th year and I am loving every minute of my life with him. My friends don’t get it because my man isn’t rich but he brings home a pay cheque and so do I and we manage to maintain a fun and stable lifestyle. I used to receive a brand new car and expensive jewelry just out of the blue and visit very exclusive Hotels but now all that is over shadowed by a genuine effort to take me out for dinner to wine and dine me as I enjoy my favorite Chinese meals. What more can a girl ask for.

Oh and my man in my opinion gave me my first intense orgasm, the difference, one is has endurance and he is so blessed. I have actually met you years ago but I am sure you can’t recall but in the forum we were in I recall your blunt self mentioning that a man’s penis girth makes all the difference, and boy were you right. I can feel my man inside me from start to finish, he really spreads my vaginal walls and it creates such an intense orgasm. For the last 4 years I have known and achieved what they call multiple orgasms. Life is great what can I say.

Keep doing what you do, you give a lot of people hope in many ways.
Maurice replies,

Thank you for sharing. It’s readers like you that keep me going.

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Can MONEY buy happiness….

Posted in Dear Maurice, Relationships on July 4, 2012| 13 Comments »

Hi Maurice,

I could not resist but to respond to your facebook status which implied that money in a relationship can not assure happiness or love. Well I am inclined to agree with you but I must tell you my story so that you understand why.

I am a 56 year old woman and I am extremely happy in my marriage however that was not always the case.

I was married at the age of 24, I was married to a man who was 12 years my senior. This man showered me with irresistible flattering compliments, with luxuries that only a few women ever get to experience. Let me break it down for you.

I was a Muthaiga lady, I was part of the elite society, I can not mention the people I rubbed shoulders with but they were the cream of Kenya.

My ex husband was wealthy not rich, rich people were considered poor in our social circles, this was old money.

We lived in what I can only describe as a 8 bedroom Castle, calling it a mansion would be an understatement. We had 6 cars and the cheapest car was worth 5 million Kenya shillings, and we never had second hand cars all our cars were bought in cash from dealership showrooms in Nairobi.

My ex husband was generous enough to grant me a monthly allowance of ksh300,000 excluding the two businesses in my name. In other words the allowance was for my hair and cosmetics.

In the 21 years we were married I traveled to over 30 Countries around the World. All my travels were to shop and holiday, it was heavenly.

But what I am not telling you is that despite the lavish lifestyle I was lonely, my heart was hollow, for almost two decades I would cry myself to sleep. I was emotionally abused by that man, he married a beautiful young girl and what he pursued to achieve was to break my spirit and self worth, and remind me that without him I would have amounted to nothing. Most of our public appearances were just a facade, we played the in-love couple but in reality love was never part of the deal.

When I reflect back I see a young naive woman who was swept off her feet by a man who was looking to get married to a triumph girl, a girl he could show off and she loved the attention at first but it was short lived when reality checked in.

The only regret I do not have because they are my blessing are my 2 grown up children. They love us both and I will never keep them from bonding with their father.

As for me I left at my own will after I finally told myself enough is enough. Long story but I lost my businesses and I only left with my cherished possessions. I needed a fresh start. It was hard after my income was almost non-existent, and no more disposable cash. But somehow I survived. I eventually got a job and was sharing an apartment with a friend who I had initially dismissed due to my high lifestyle. It was then that I knew who my real friends were. None from my click of Muthaiga girlfriends even acknowledge me today, if anything they look down on me but guess what there was light at the end of the tunnel for me.

Eight years ago I met a very humble businessman who did not try to impress me with money but just opened his heart and life to me and now he is part of  my  life as my husband. We have been married for 6 years.

Maurice, I am so happy and loved that honestly words alone can not describe the genuine attention I receive from this man. We collectively earn roughly what used to be my allowance and we live well. We live in Kitengela, in our own 3 bedroom home and compound, and we only have one car between us. Life is about how much we love and appreciate each other. Whether we gain material stuff or not the most important thing is that we have each other and we support each other in everything we do.

My husband wines and dines me willingly and with so much passion, he is a true romantic, very sentimental in character and I love him for all those things that he is. Above all I must mention that my husband is rich at heart, he is rich in the love he soaks me in, it’s so intoxicating and sweet. I never thought such love existed, maybe only in the movies.

A friend once asked me if I miss my old life, she was referring to the lifestyle, and I confidently said ‘no I don’t’. I would not even want to live that level of luxury with my husband today because I saw it ‘first hand’ that a certain level of wealth is poisonous. Life becomes so artificial.

Just to take you back a bit. I actually met you at a bridal shower years ago and one thing you said stood out and that was “men do not know how to love but they are good at caring for a woman who means something to them”, how true that is. When my husband says he cares for me I equate it to a million I love yous, I totally understood what you meant though I recall that many of the women at that bridal shower were disappointed by your comment. They failed to read between the lines, all they heard was that men can not love a woman which is not what you said. Truth be told us women can be shallow because we are so accustomed to hearing a man say ‘I love you’. Now I know better.

I have the most caring and loving man that I could ever wish for and he tells me the truth whether it hurts or not but everything he does or says is for my own good. I am thankful that God gave me another chance at love and I am happy.

Maurice, if my story can awaken one woman’s mind and save her from the  ordeal I underwent I will have done something. In my opinion many women today are lost in the search for a provider and most of the time they want one who has spending power, how misguided they are. Only if they could allow themselves to grow with their chosen partner, that way they would gradually acquire the wealth together as a couple.

I want you to know that at the bridal shower I watched you closely and listened to you attentively and what I read was a man who is incredibly passionate about his work. That’s great but please remember that you can’t save every soul out there, do what you can and hope that others will hear your message and take it upon themselves to make the right decisions in their life.

God bless you.

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Loving that younger woman….

Posted in Dear Maurice, Relationships on June 3, 2012| 5 Comments »

Dear Maurice,

I met a woman in early 2010 and begun to date her and until today she is still in my life. My main concern is that she has never shown me the level of commitment that I have shown her?

Maurice replies,

Please expound on your commitment?

He replies,

When I met her she was living between her mother’s and her sister’s place. It was not always smooth going at her sister’s due to the sister having 2 kids and a husband. I then took it upon myself to make her life easier.

Maurice asks,

How?

He replies,

I started by making sure she always had enough cash for the month so she can be more independent.

Maurice asks,

Was she not in employment?

He replies,

She had a temp job with a law firm and received a minimal allowance which was more like bus fare. It was not enough to sustain a comfortable living. I then proceeded to get her a one bedroom apartment, paid her rent which I still do and all other utility bills. Now she wants a car to run around with which is not really a big deal but she needs to show me that we are heading somewhere. I was once married for 7 years so I know women through experience.

Maurice asks,

What does she have to do to show you that she is serious in your relationship?

He replies,

I would like her to act more like my woman than a girl who has just left school. She is always wants to go out on Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and with the combination of her peers there’s always an influenced out of town getaway which I end up paying for to cover her costs whether I am going or not.

I am looking for stability in my life. For some reason, in my opinion, I tend to attract playful women. I am divorced because my ex wife betrayed me with her colleague, she too loved to party, I caught them red handed and that was a painful period of my life. I love my current girlfriend and I need her to assure me that she will not put me through what my ex wife did.

Maurice replies,

So I’m assuming you have shared your past with your girlfriend?

He replies,                                           

Yes I have, when I was courting her I told her everything, no stone unturned, no surprises, she knows my history more than I know hers. I don’t expect her to open up as much as I did but I would like to see from her a certain level of maturity and interest in our future.

Maurice replies,

If I may, how old are you and how old is she?

He replies,

I am 38 and she is 23.

Maurice replies,

When did you divorce?

He replies,

In September 2009.

Maurice replies,

Not that dating women of your age bracket will guarantee commitment but have you thought about your age difference and the fact that she is going through a certain phase as you probably did when you were 23?

He replies,

Oh yes, when we met though I really liked her it was evident that our social interests were a tad different at times. I too enjoy a good time like any man would especially with a young beauty in my arms but when its too frequent it tends to tire me out.

Maurice replies,

I hear you, however that’s part of her life that you should not attempt to change, because if you do she will detach herself from you as a lover and see you more as a father figure who is trying to limit her youthful experiences. If you want to continue with your relationship then you must be prepared to tolerate some of her generational habits and trends.

What is your age difference with your ex wife?

He replies,

She is 3 years younger.

Maurice replies,

Like I said before this has nothing to do with age compatibility but the acceptance that a woman of a certain age will want to socially indulge in activities that may not suit you today, why? because you already went through that phase years ago, so it’s only logically and fair that you give her the freedom to experience life and come to some balance in time to come.

Do you believe she is faithful to you?

He replies,

At my age or rather with experience I have come to understand that loyalty is a choice one makes, to avoid hurting each other I made it very clear that we should be upfront with one another, if either of us finds that the relationship is not to their liking then we should split up before we move on to someone else.

Maurice replies,

Very wise, that makes perfect sense. What I would like to add is that instead of solely giving her a lifestyle and maintaining it as if she was your triumph, for her own freedom and social independence I would advise that you steer her towards gaining an education, an eventual career path, so that she has a strong foundation to support herself in life, tomorrow is not promised, there are no relationship guarantees and if you indeed truly love her then empower her with the wealth of education. Give her the opportunity to an empowered future, she will one day thank you for it. I wish you both the best my good man.

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Tradition and Culture

Posted in Dear Maurice, Relationships on April 5, 2012| 5 Comments »

 Dear Maurice,

I have been married for the last 17 years to a Kenyan gentleman or so I thought. I am 39 years old. My Nationality is Italian. We have 3 teenage children. We moved to Kenya 2 years ago and to be perfectly honest with you I regret the day we left the UK.

My husband is a financial consultant and I am a house wife, though I do help out in a few charitable organizations. We met in the UK and fell in-love; it was love at first sight when I think back. We both attended the same University but he was 2 years ahead of me.

Maurice asks,

What seems to be the problem?

She replies,

Let me start from the beginning. As I have said we met in campus and after only 6 months moved in together and that was over 2 decades ago. We were soul mate, I know it sounds cheesy but we were. I had never dated an African before and he was the perfect gentle. I thought Italian men from home were the most romantic, I guess he out did himself and swept me off my feet. We have lived a good life in harmony but everything changed when we both agreed to move to his home Country Kenya.

I have received nothing but grief from his family. It’s a bit odd because they were ever so supportive while we lived in the UK. We have flown them over 4 times in the last 10 years and once they arrived we would take them around Europe. We traveled to my home town in Italy for our parents to meet, luckily for us, both our parents were fluent in English and they got on like a house on fire.

What bewilders me is how suddenly your in-laws can turn on you; I had been warned by my husband’s close friend in the UK that some Kenyan men change character when they travel back home, can you shed light on this?

Maurice asks,

Where did all the trouble stem from, did you offend anyone or have a misunderstanding with your in-laws?

She replies,

Not at all Maurice. It’s like they changed into people I don’t recognize about 3 months into our arrival. It started with my dressing which my husband all of a sudden found did not suit ‘a mother of 3’ as he put it. He also said that I was embarrassing him when I address men from his home town, that I should respect African culture. That’s when I recalled the warning I received in the UK. We don’t even hold hands any more, yet we have done that for over 20 years. What is happening to my marriage and where did the man I married go?

Maurice replies,

Over the years I have witnessed this phenomenon of men changing their characters when they settle back home. Some become traditionalists yet while living abroad they were very liberal and adapted to the way of life wherever they lived. If I may ask, why have you waited for 2 years before voicing out your concern, or had you sort help from your husband’s friends or relatives that may support you?

She replies,

I have reached out to a number of close friends and his relatives that I consider close to me and all have told me that it is the way of life once a Kenyan returns home. I don’t believe them and I know it was their polite way of saying they do not want to be involved. To top it all off, my husband has been told to marry one of his own tribe’s women and that is why I am writing to you. That in my view is unacceptable and if he persists I will leave him. I will not share him regardless of what his tradition allows. Last week he returned home after his travels from his home town and that is when he announced that he was in the process of getting a second wife.

Maurice asks,

In all the years have you ever discussed his traditional believes jokingly or otherwise? Did he ever hint that things would be different once back in Kenya?

She replies,

No we never discussed tradition or polygamy and if he had hinted jokingly or otherwise I would have stayed in the UK and avoided all these shenanigans. My life is being turned upside down I truly regret our choice to move here. How do I get him back to his senses?

Maurice replies,

I have dealt with your scenario before, the only option you have is to sit your husband down of which I’m sure you still can, and tell him that you are uncomfortable with his new found traditional lifestyle and that he needs to remember what it took to stay married for 17 years not counting your years in campus together. If you mean the World to him, he will rethink his position and be man enough to prioritise on his immediate family ‘his wife and kids’ and not the wishes of his extended family. In life we must make tough choices to survive a situation or otherwise fail. I will be more than willing to meet the two of you to shed light on the  prospects of your future. Please keep me in the loop and don’t give up on your marriage.

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Unorthodox Marriage

Posted in Relationships, Sex on March 1, 2012| 2 Comments »

Dear Maurice,

  I want to share a story about my life as a girlfriend and my life as a wife and how I have come to view life. I was married a virgin at the age of 26. My husband was 35. I knew what I wanted and I was a big believer of that special day with someone I love dearly. Little did I know that life had other plans for me. We have now been  married for 9 years of which 3 were out of this World and I can proudly say that.

On our fourth year my husband hired an intern and you can guess what was going on behind my back however I only found out when he decided to tell me the truth after a 2 year affair. My husband has 2 kids with me and a one with his youthful mistress.

When I was his girlfriend for 4 years everything was bliss, exciting at all times. I had a man with potential and so did he become successful in his business but with riches came indiscretion, that’s my opinion.

Now we live a life our false friendship and tolerance, but we still have sex, why? because that’s the only thing that I can’t keep myself from, he knows my body inside out and he has plenty of stamina just the way we ladies like it. I have come to understand that marriage is just a status and for me I am having my cake and eating it too. As you can guess we are not exclusive to each other however, ever since we made that pact we have found a renewed love for each others company but I can’t state that we are in-love. Despite all I can’t complain, my World is no-longer about worrying where he is because I too have my fun outside wedlock and yet I still need him for his bedroom duties. It’s a balance of humanly needs and requirements. He is a great father and provider, well he can afford it plus he has no choice but to take care of his family or should I say families.

I know some women will read this and think I am out of my mind but I chose to understand my man and according to me once in a while a man will want to venture out and taste a different vagina. So where not do the same, though I don’t randomly venture out sexually, most of the time I just tease men and go home a happy girl knowing I had all the control, that’s my thrill. Is our marriage the same, no it is not but I am not leaving him and neither is he leave me, we just have a mutual agreement to have our safe fun out there and eventually go home. Oh, we also make time for our kids and play happy family, at times the acting is actually fun and out of it all I get to orgasm. Not a bad deal if you ask me.

Just thought to share. Keep up the good work.

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Finally some good news….

Posted in Relationships on February 20, 2012| 2 Comments »

Dear Maurice,

I am writing to you to first thank you for persevering with us, it has been a long road since last year April. Secondly, my husband and I want to thank you for being brutally honest with us from the word go during our sessions. My husband didn’t like your technique and approach at first ‘just to let you know’. We actually thought you were too heavy handed but we came to understand why. We were not the easiest couple to deal with I am sure. Sorry for not following your program for the first 2 months, we almost gave up until you intervened. All I can say is, it was a make or break for us. What hit us as we eventually followed what you set out for us is whether we really wanted to fight for our marriage, if we wanted to be together as we did when we first met 12 years ago. We also quickly realised that your program was a stepping stone for us to create our own program, our own path in marriage. We did a lot of soul searching if I can call it that and we begun to open up to each other, something we had not done for years. We revisited the core contributor which was our busy individual lifestyles and decided that we can replace commodities and many other material things but we can not replace each other. We remember you repeatedly reminding us to the point where we both felt as if we were being grilled by you but all in all because of you things have worked out for the best. We have embarked on spending quality time with and without our kids and we have embraced each others’ hobbies and other interests.

There’s much more I could add but I’ll leave it there.

God Bless.

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Relationships – How they work or not….

Posted in Relationships on February 20, 2012| 6 Comments »

People say that relationships are hard, they may have a point depending on what exactly is ‘hard’ about a particular relationship!

In my opinion, relationships are NOT hard, what makes it hard are the choices we make within a relationship. A healthy relationship is meant to be a journey you take together through the good and bad its not supposed to be a season of Prison Break.

Lets look at TRUST  (not the condom)

 A word often used to describe a relationship without secrets, without adultery, without cheating in general. We say TRUST is earned but how much is it worth, what do I or we have to do to earn those vital TRUST bonga points??? It varies per relationship, there are conservative and liberal unions and they all have set parameters of what is acceptable and what is not. If you ask me it sounds like jail time. Trust is meant to be blind.

Never ever put your happiness in the control of someone else. By doing this you lessen your odds of long term happiness, brought about by the people you attract, the things you get involved in. Yes, its a great feeling when someone makes you feel wanted, needed, accepted for who you are….wow! what a feeling. However that feeling should be an added bonus to your already existing happy-self.

If you are happy with who you are, what you have then you are likelier to attract people who will relate to your social realm. In the other hand, if you are always seeking attention from others to fulfill your cavity of happiness then you may struggle to achieve true happiness. If you don’t love yourself how can you possible expect anyone to love you in equal measure.

I am a believer of positive thinking, even when all seems to work against you, if you do not believe that things will work out and work towards your goal you will undoubtedly fail. It is better to aim for 100% and only manage 80% through your efforts than to start any journey and doubt your ability.

Look within yourself and isolate the things in life that put a smile on your face, this action will gradually weed out the fake people around you till you are left with those who are truly your friends. It has worked for me over the years and today I can proudly say that I now know what really makes me happy and calms my soul. With this information I have been able to appreciate the little things in life. Unlike years ago when I went out of my way to please everyone, today I first make sure that I am happy and through this mind set I have accomplished a lot. Most importantly I have peace of mind.

If you ‘my readers’ and your friends and loved ones can adopt this way of thinking you will attract positive energy and the sky will not be the limit, you can go beyond and explore and venture into the things you have always wanted to do without having permission from anyone. A partnership should be cherished at all times but never ever let anyone stop you from pursuing your dreams.

Lets look at INSECURITY

Whenever you enter into a relationship you introduce an external influence to your life and well being. This is my take on the matter on a general note.

If you DO NOT trust your partner than its counter productive for you to stay in that relationship.

 If your partner receives more text messages than you than clearly you need to step up your game and get more friends. Don’t bother your partner with your trivial insecurities that are baseless or caused by rumours from friends. In short what I am saying is, if you start thinking that your partner is cheating without hard proof then you are 1) going to create a negative atmosphere and your partner will sense it and avoid you. 2) you are about to accuse an innocent party and create a rift in your already almost perfect relationship. I have witnessed couples who have spoiled a good relationship out of the fear of losing the other and true to their negative thoughts being emitted they lost each other in the end, out of nothing but your mind playing tricks on you.

If your partner goes out with your blessings PLEASE refrain from calling them every 15 minutes, if defeats the purposes of them going out to bond with friends. Humans have brains in-case you forgot, your partner is not going to be stolen or sold unless that is their wish.

Now speaking of their wish, this is the part you can never control. You have to believe that your partner cares about you enough for them to NOT indulge in actions that may hurt you. Ladies and gentlemen what our partners choose to do when we are not with them is their prerogative. Many people will say that a watchful eye will deter someone from misbehaving, in short, you are attempting to spy on your partner for your lifetime, don’t you have self worth. If they make that choice to hurt you then they were never truly there to stay. Never beg and never ask to be ‘promised’ because for some ‘promises’ are there to be broken.

To the MEN, if you truly believe that your woman is fine, then don’t make a fuss if other men stare at her, it only confirms that you have a woman they desire if anything that should be an ego booster not the opposite. If you have a rose you will show it off unless you think its ugly. Like it or not those are that is a fact.

To the ladies, most of you are jealous as hell, if you believe your man is fine then show him off but don’t announce your orgasmic bedroom escapades to your girl friends.

If you think your man is nothing but a’ dog’, a womaniser (then why are you still with him???), whatever you profess to feel for a man it should be unconditional. If they let you down, that was their intent all along, at that point you have not failed but the man has. Men won’t accept it but when a man messes up a good thing it really hurts cause we know that a good compatible woman is hard to find. Another thing STOP going through your man’s phone, you will most of the time find what you want to find and from experience most of what you find is innocent. Don’t break up good relationship over text messages ‘on a serious note’.

Remember, find happiness within you before you ask it of another.

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He can’t have enough of me

Posted in Relationships, Sex on February 9, 2012| 1 Comment »

Hi Maurice,

My issue is a small one never the less it’s still an issue in my book. I am 22 and my 3 year boyfriend does not seem to have enough sex from me?

Maurice asks,

When you say 3 year boyfriend, I’m hoping he’s not 3 years old!

She replies,

Maurice you know what I mean don’t be silly. Anyway, is it normal for a guy to want to have sex 7 days a week and it’s been 3 years now I thought he would get tired after a few months but it’s getting worse if you ask me. He gets over excited to see me and starts to hint for some. I’m not complaining but it is tiring  to accommodate him at times. He is also pretty chunky downstairs so we always have to use lubrication.

Maurice replies,

First, this is not an issue, if I compare you with other women you are blessed to have a man who yearns for you to that magnitude and duration. What you need to do is just remind him that you are human and that you get tired. Once in a while he should let you rest your vagina before he either creates vaginal injuries or gradually puts you off your sex life. That will not be healthy for your relationship. Just remember it’s not what you say but how you say it, make it very clear to him that you yearn for him just as much but his stamina, libido and craving is much higher than yours. That should affirm to him that you still find him a stud in bed hence making him understand that you are not saying ‘no’ to sex but just need a breather whenever you feel exhausted or just not in the mood.

Apart from that is there anything else on your mind?

She replies,

Well, he has stopped taking me out as much as he used to, we still go out but unlike our every weekend outings we only go out like once a month. He prefers to stay home watch a movies and have plenty of marathon sex till neither of us can move.

Maurice asks,

How old is your boyfriend?

She replies,

He is 34, and before you ask, he is not married, I was lucky to find him after he had broken off his last relationship over lack of sex. I thought I was sexually active of which I am but not to his level.

Maurice replies,

So you are compatible sexually which is a bonus ‘trust me’, but he is a bit of a bull in bed always charging for your body. My dear to be honest I can’t fault him because he is performing unlike many who are not. In regards to your going out, it’s not surprising that you find his staying indoors a bit much you are still his junior by a good 12 years so you will find that your social interests will differ at times. Try and meet half way, instead of the 4 weekends that you were used to try agreeing to 2 weekends per month and take it from there. Also be careful not to calendar your social life otherwise it will remove the unknown thrill from the act of going out and it will become predictable.

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What is it about the house help

Posted in Relationships on December 15, 2011| 2 Comments »

Women believe a man will sleep with anything that moves, there’s some degree of truth to it, but it’s not a fact. Men are visual beings who love the thrill of the chase and we need to be constantly paid attention to, enticed, stimulated by blood pumping visuals and generally made to feel manly at all times otherwise we get bored.

When as a woman you have a man who constantly pays you attention and likes to come home the mistake that, over time, women make is when you over look the attention you receive because it’s always there and you then assume it will always be there. Please note this only applies to the guy who is faithful to his partner. Now because the woman is used to the pampering she lets her guard down by placing her man’s needs second or third to all other things in her life at the time. This is especially common with couples who have kids. When you let your guard down in any form of human activity you are setting yourself for a shocking awakening.

Does lack of attention justify ‘cheating’ well that’s a debate in itself but I wont touch on that for now but I will say that men don’t know how not to receive attention so after a few rejections he will undoubtedly look else where. Regardless of his commitment to his woman, a man’s hunger for his ego to be fed must not be over looked. His sexual gratification is fragile and years of faithful dedication to one woman can easily be terminated and end up being a habit to seek pleasures else where.

Some men will seek for this gratification away from home however if you have a house help who has certain features like well toned legs, thighs and day in day out she wears those tight T-shirts and short cheap but sexy minis, and now and again your man keeps bumping into her after she has just washed some clothes looking like she is a participant in a ‘wet T-shirt contest’. Her nipples and well rounded B to C cup breasts clearly visible through the almost ‘see through’ 70% polyester 30% cotton T-shirt then you are doomed if his eyes and her eyes lock on! It’s like a jet fighter that has just locked onto its target and the weapon is armed and fired. You can just imagine how intense the blast will be considering the forbidden fruit and the erotic energy released by lust.

You may have once been Miss Kenya but if you slip up at home you will soon be replaced ‘sexually that is’ by a woman with limited looks but she rides your man’s ego like the majestic waves that hit the sea shores over the rocks. It doesn’t help that your house help’s nature scent is also very enticing to some men, if anything the human natural scent turns on many men and the constant smell of that sweat can trigger a firm erection and result to explosive orgasms with the lust element in the mix.

Ladies it costs nothing be sexy because it’s not about the most expensive sexy outfit its about the willingness to make a man feel like a man everyday. Take your old T-shirt and cut holes in it ‘be creative’ cut a hole for one nipple to be in full view and the other to be partially seen and take an old stocking and get creative their I’m sure you know the key area of a stocking and surprise your man when both you moods are portrays a night of sexual intent and go with the flow. Whether you think you can dance or not, it’s not an audition, give it a shot and perform some sexy dancing, its all in the movements of the hips, legs, how you touch yourself suggestively and last but not least make sure your facial expressions are sexy, that can make or break a man’s libido.

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