Dear Maurice,
I have been following your work for quite a number of years. I find your insights on human interaction interesting which brings me to picking your brain on my dilemma. I
am a Kenyan but most of my up bringing has been outside the Country. Since I was 16, I have only dated Western girls. My parents gave me an opportunity to discover the World since I was 14. I am 27 years old and successful. I currently work in Vienna. I have three holiday destination that I must visit every year, Spain, Malaysia and Kenya. Kenya is home but it’s not home at the same time, if you get my drift. I always have this culture shock especially on people’s weird behaviours and disloyalty. The amount of money that I have lost due to non starter projects is colossal but that is a story for another day. What is wrong with Kenyan women?
Maurice replies,
What do you mean, be specific?
He replies,
They are always out for money even the ones who earn good salaries. I have dated both younger and older thinking that age would make a difference but all seems to have similar traits. They just use different tactics to lure you into their seductive traps. There is this woman I was dating or so I thought, she was 30 years and successful in her own right but after investing $8,000 in some project we were doing together, I found out that she is married and yet she had told me that she was 4 years into her separation. She talked a good game and I believed her, I had no reason not to. I haven’t lived in a society where you second guess or doubt one’s honesty. Whenever I visited Kenya, I would stay at her place. After she owned up she admitted that was a house her husband was not aware of. His travels for business accorded her social flexibility and cause of work she also does a bit of travel. I was so shocked considering we dated comfortably for 2 years. I only found out when her husband called me and told me to keep off but he was pretty understanding when I made it clear that I was misled. In good conscious I would not date a married woman, that is just a no no but it seems to be normal in Kenya. I ended our relationship in December 2017. In your opinion, why do people get married, what is the point of vows that are hardly kept?
Maurice replies,
The short version of the answer is basically social pressures to qualify and conform to societal/religious expectations. It’s like a way of passage to gain social status and respect. There are couples in Kenya who lead very productive relations but they are the exemption not the norm.
He replies,
I thought so. Out of 12 men who I consider my boys through keeping in-touch, all have a side chick so I get your synopsis of the Kenyan phenomenon. I still have another 7 years out here and I do want to find a worthy woman to make my own but what I have witnessed is not encouraging. I do have a fuck mate in Spain, she is 24, a Spanish beauty, and she knows that one day we shall end our fling but for now we have an incredible sex life, we see each other 4 times a month. She knows about you from me and we tried out your teachings and wow she is such a squirter since last year February. I met her during a 4 day relaxation trip, the irony considering we do not relax whenever we meet lol. I 
was in Kenya in April and I took a trip out of Nairobi with a freaky 26 year old BBWI met online and boy did she show me what Kenya is made of, it was a wild weekend, full of nakedness and squirting, that shit is magical bro. She invited her pal to join us on our second night out there. I was in Kenya for 3 weeks so you can imagine the stuff that went down. My boys got me covered but after all that squirting, the major put off is the random solicitation of money. You have lived out here so you know that shit does not happen over here. Two consenting adults have sex for mutual fun but in Kenya the roller coaster is thrilling however it ends up leaving a bad taste in your mouth when you get the feeling that some woman did you a favour sleeping with you and yet I financially covered for the entire experience. No offense bro, but you guys started a culture of paying for shit that you have no need paying for. I have had Austrian, Spanish, Italian and Eastern European women take me out for dinner or on a trip, and you know how fine they can be, without the sense of doing each other favours, just two consenting adults treating each other to a good time. I am so used to going dutch, so the concept of having to pay for everything is not appealing.
Maurice replies,
I hear you loud & clear, and I do agree that the culture is not the most appealing. Personally, a woman who can spend on me is extremely a turn on. And it’s not about keeping count, but just having a man and woman who do not mind treating each other. Though, some of our brothers claim to feel manly when they take up the tab but still complain about women using them to fellow men! Then again, some have no social skills so the wallet gets them female company.
He replies,
By the way, thank you for your time. This has been good banter. I need to ask though. If I do decide to move back and settle, what would you advise I go for when it comes to finding what I would deem as a good woman for me?
Maurice replies,
It is all about compatibility but most rely on being loved or loving which is a weak ingredient to sustain any relationship. The question is, what does moving to Kenya look like for you, you need a woman who understands your version of existence rather than the common norm of being a provider just because you happen to have testicles!
He replies,
Hehehe.. I see what you did there. A move to Kenya for me has to be away from the concrete jungle. I would most likely build a cottage like home over looking some amazing scenery. I have been to such homes around Maanzoni. The morning and sunsets are out of this World. I am a consultant so thankfully I would not be confined to an 8 to 5. Have a few top breed dogs. My home must have a clay built hot tub. I am a believer of using building material locally sourced, I love a natural look. It’s like having a mini resort that happens to be your home. Two off road vehicles. I am a Land Rover kind of guy. I have traveled the World and I live a descent life but even then I always subscribe to simplicity in life.
Maurice replies,
Then what I recommend, is that you take you time and find a woman who would love to live your kind of life. If you date a City mentality woman or a woman who will periodically attempt to move you nearer to her comforts you will just experience constant headaches and as you know mara moja does not squirt. I also feel that you will need a woman of your class or by some luck a woman who happens to love the Countryside life you aspire to establish. And this has little to do with her age but everything to do with her chilled out open minded attitude. For example, you cannot live in Maanzoni with a woman who does not appreciate nature, wild animals and especially lacks the love for K9s. If her natural habitat is frequent visits to expensive salons and mall and the oh so frequent ‘ can you do me a favour’ malarkey then my good man you stay in Kenya will be one of discontentment. You have been socialized in a different social order so a typical Kenyan will not suit you. The woman you need is out there, it is a matter of finding her. I believe what you put out to the Universe is what you attract, there is hope, you just need to socialize in the right circles.
He replies,
So true Matheka. I tell you what, I visit in December or April so let us keep the banter 
going and we can meet up and have a good single malt as we discuss my options. Again, thank you for your time. For now, I will maintain my fuck mate relations that keep us mutually entertained in more ways than one. Oh, I should have mentioned, I love a woman who has a bisexual nature. We can’t be in all that wilderness and not explore with a imported third party, you feel me bro?
Maurice replies,
I share your sentiments and I live that reality. You cannot be overly liberal and date an opposite, that is pure madness. I look forward to that single malt.
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