mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I am curious about the Eros group. It is a friend of mine who forwarded one of your videos where you have women looking for serious men. I want to join but I want you to clarify a few things about men. I am 37 and I have never been lucky with love. I have dated six men in my life and all turn out to have very different outlooks to life. I want a family. I want a man who is present at all times. I want a man who can play with his children and be there for me at my lowest moments. Are there men out there who want to be serious with a woman?

Maurice replies,

It would be easy for me to tell you that there are plenty of men who can fulfill a woman’s needs but for me to give you an accurate response it is better I give you a view of the broader picture by asking you to clarify a few things. Out of the men you dated, how long was the shortest and longest relationship?

She replies,

The shortest was 4 months and the longest was 3 years.

Maurice replies,

Why did those relationships end and because I know women I request you give me a brief version, be to the point?

She replies,

The 4 month relationship was amazing but I had to flee because the sex became addictive and he had already told me that he had come out of a 11 year marriage and was not looking to settle down again. I saw him every week and despite our agreement to be each other’s friend with benefits the feelings flooded in. At that point I asked him to let me go and he did. We were like a couple but not quite, you know what I mean!

Maurice replies,

Yes I do. He was like a boyfriend but without the title.

She replies,

He made me feel things that I was not meant to feel. He had a way of bringing out the white girl in me! He is also the only man to hold me after sex, most just turn round and sleep. He was great at the sentimental parts and for me that just made me fall deeper for him. I respected him for his honesty from the onset.

Maurice replies,

What about your longest relationship, why did that not work?

She replies,

The man was married. Matheka, when I met him through a work’s seminar I told him that I do not do married men but he persisted. He is a senior guy and could not take no for an answer. He showered me with gifts at the office and I found myself loving the attention. He was a gentleman and never pressured me for sex for about 9 months, then he flew us to Australia and that is where we had sex for the first time.

Maurice replies,

What kept him relevant for 3 years considering he caused you to break your married men rule, were you deeply in love, was it the sex, did he promise to make you his second wife?

She replies,

If I am honest, his networks and what they did for me made him as you say relevant. Did I love him, yes but I have loved more before. He treated me like a woman would like to be treated and his ability to open doors for me was an added bonus. Because of him I live in the home I have always wanted. He did not buy me my home he just made it possible for lucrative tenders to come my way. I left him earlier this year when I found a text message between him and a much younger woman. He is 52 and his wife is 44. I confronted him and he did not deny that he was having a fling with her. As we exchanged words, he reminded me of all the things I had gained from knowing him and told me I had no right to question because his own wife doesn’t. After that I knew it was time to leave.

Maurice replies,

So here we have a profile of two men who you were involved with and both had their unique relevance. Out of the six men, is there a worthy additional profile you would like to mention?

She replies,

Actually Matheka, the shortest relationship was about a month but he is not worth mentioning. Out of the six, the two are the only ones I connected with.

Maurice replies,

If I may ask, your lover who was married for 11 years, did he by any chance tell you why his marriage ended?

She replies,

He said at their 6th year, they stopped being friends and that the idea to marry only came about when she got pregnant. It was more family pressure than them wanting to get married at that point of their life. Their divorce was a mutual decision. What I admire about them is that they found a way to still be civil and friends. I would over hear them talking family things on the phone and she once found me at his place and funny enough she was absolutely cool. Then again, he had told her about our arrangement.

Maurice replies,

So to answer your question. Whenever women look for a boyfriend, companion, partner, lover, husband, whatever you label those potentials! The one word that truly ‘fucks the broth’ is the word ‘serious’. What they need to be looking for is a man who can be their best friend, a man who can hold an honest conversation, and not a man who can say all the right things. This is where women come to regret that word ‘serious’ when they end up with a man who seriously lies, seriously tells a woman what she wants or needs to hear, a man who says he loves you out of obligation but also tells others he loves them but in this regard the ‘I love you’ is based on how he is made to feel by external influences. A man who is serious can seriously hurt you, it is important to remember that. The couples I have ever met who I can confidently say have a functional relationship, all have something in common. No, it is not love but genuine friendship. Their relevance for each other is maintained by brutal honesty whether good or bad. They allow themselves to cry and have fun together. It is a friendship that lacks in many marriages in my experienced opinion. The other thing, and I really wish men were more honest about this. Men do not mind being providers but many today are tired of having that label define them. Economic times have changed and many men do not prescribe to women who believe in ‘my money is mine and his money is ours’ mentality. I know for a fact that this reality is causing men to withhold financially. Men are always seeking thrills, if you are not part of the thrill you are part of the problem. There must be a balance between family and fun. Some will say, fun does not pay bills or school fees, which is true. But remember thrills and fun cause erections which are not evoked by bills! Even those tenders are driven by heightened testosterone which allows for doors & vaginas to open alike! One must always find their relevance and work on maintaining it without affecting the relationship psychology. The simple equation is to meet a bigger pool of men, not for sex, but to enable you to meet an assortment of characters who you can evaluate and hopefully find compatibility rather than falling for any man just because he seems to say all the right things and most likely he is in a position to fulfill your eagerness to get married. Thereafter you become my client complaining how you gain the title but lost the man. There are also times when unknowingly women have met a perfect guy but spoil it by displaying insecurity and neediness that renders a woman unattractive.  Again, know your relevance.

It is far better to meet a man who tells you things you would rather not hear but makes it his life to protect you and be your exclusive man not because he has to but because he made a conscious decision to share good and bad times without feeling obligated to that course of life.

She replies,

Wow, I was not aware of so much. There is such a major difference between men and women. But Matheka, men are not speaking out their truth.

Maurice replies,

You are right. Many of my brothers are pretending in silence. It is time for men to tell it as it is otherwise our social problems will only get worse.

She replies,

Matheka, I am willing to go by your guidance. I need to find this potential friend and hopefully we can be genuine enough to find mutual interests and map out a future. What I do know is my age bracket of interest is mostly of men who are married so I hope we can find at least a divorcee.

Maurice replies,

Only time will tell, I shall do my best.

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