mauricetherapy

Dear Matheka,

I have been following your work for many years but until I saw your video where you called certain women dating married men idiots I had no reason to write you. I admire your honesty but it was cruel in my opinion, I guess that is why you are you. Anyway I write you because I have dated a married man for the last 9 years but as of the last 3 years things between us drastically changed. Oh, I am 34 years. I was married at 21 and by 23 we were filing for divorce because he was physically violent.

I dated a few guys but nothing serious until I met the married man. The reason I agreed to the relationship is because he was honest from the beginning. He told me that he was married with four children. He also told me that he had been unfaithful to his wife two times prior to meeting me because from the onset he knew his wife was great for nurturing a family but was always a boring sexual lover. He basically told me that if I was a good fit, meaning if we were sexually compatible he would maintain me as his only woman apart from his wife whom he would never leave for anyone. He made it very clear that passionate kissing was also his thing and that he never had that connection with his wife. All this was shared on our first date, stating that he was not interested in wasting his or my time. He said to me ‘if I don’t hear from you have a good life’. That was it. I was so drawn to his approach that I literally held back from calling him immediately and telling him that I was going to be his naughty sexy vixen. On the third day I called him and jokingly asked ‘when do I start’, he laughed and said my decision was the beginning of a wonderful love affair. So after we had sex several times I kind of passed my probation so to speak. To be honest, your video on facebook really struck a cord. What did you mean by a woman knowing her relevance?

Maurice replies,

Thank you for reaching out but for me to give you the answer that is relevant to your context I need to understand what changed in the last 3 years, assuming for the first 6 years of your affair things were good and sustained as per your liking?

She replies,

When we started dating he gave me specific ground rules. No discussing his wife or kids, no changing into a wifely figure, no mothering him and that I should maintain my bodily figure and attitude. He never forced it, it was a take it or leave it scenario. His promise to me was that he would maintain my lifestyle, even though I too am a high flyer in my own right. He has been the perfect man in relation to my lifestyle but 3 years ago he stopped being exclusive to me. I found out that he was seeing two other ladies and I felt betrayed considering all the time I had and have put into him.

Maurice asks,

Explain what you mean by time put into him, do you by any chance feel that he used you, that your vagina was over worked and he owed you exclusivity? I would also like to know how old is the gent in question?

She replies,

If I did not know you Matheka, I would have found your line of questioning rude but I appreciate your boldness. He is 51 years old. I just feel that a man should find it in himself to stick to the woman he loves, especially after the great erotic sex he speaks about that I give you. I know he is married but he told me that I was different so why would he have sexual relations with other women?

Maurice replies,

Before I respond, tell me how old his wife is, if you know that is?

She replies,

His wife is 43 years old.

Maurice replies,

Obviously I would be able to give you a better profile reading if I met him but at this point having dealt with these scenarios plenty of times before, I can confidently tell you that my hypothesis on your case is as follows. You met a married man who was 42 with a wife who was then 35 and she had already given him two children which meant she had met her relevance of giving birth which is backed up by his testimony of not finding her sexually attractive, by your account he proceeded to tag her as a ‘boring sexual lover’. When he met you, you were 25 and a possible candidate to embark on some notion of an affair that would facilitate for both his need for sexual compatibility and focus on one woman which you translated into a declaration of exclusivity. Are we together so far? And if my findings are not to your liking please feel free to let me know!

She replies,

We are together Matheka, go on.

Maurice replies,

At 25 you were his potential lust factor and after your probation it was clear that your vagina qualified. He then gave you a series of conditions to assess your moral point, again you qualified because his blunt honesty aroused your entire vulva causing your clitoris to flap in joy, and his lure and verbalization of his demands most likely had you changing panty liners with vaginal hysterics. Looking at the facts, his wife was your age when he decided to seek out what was to be your 9 year affair. Human behavioural patterns rarely deviate, most stick to their trait. The only reason you have lasted 9 years with this man is not because he loves, that’s usual fantasy romantic notions in most cases, you have had a relevancy and still do. At this point it is more probable that he has grown to care for you hence why he maintains your lifestyle but unfortunately for women, most men are too practical to mix emotion and sex. It is not uncommon for a man to detach himself once he cultivates a certain degree of emotions towards a woman and truth be told ‘erections’ don’t relate or recognize love, though there is a population of men who have mastered the art of pretending they understand or feel love just like women do. Men are more caring being than loving. A man who uses love to influence a woman’s emotional thought process has a higher probability of not being faithful compared to a man who cares enough to respect his bond and maintains fidelity because he made a conscious decision to work with one vagina.

She replies,

Oh my oh my oh my. So what you are saying is that my once relevance of having a tasty pussy and positive attitude without my knowledge turned into a wife and his perception of me changed. He has basically replaced me with younger women who project his sexual criteria, is that what you are saying?

Maurice replies,

I can see you would make a good profiler, yes that is exactly what I am saying. He does not love you any less but your relevance moved into how he can sustain his partnership with you, the same way he found a balance with his wife. Question, you mentioned ‘younger’ does that mean you know the age of the women and after 9 years does his wife know you co-share?

She replies,

The women are 22 and 27. She called me once after the 3rd year of our affair to tell me she knows I exist and that she has no issue with me. I found that odd but I never mentioned it to him.

Maurice replies,

I have worked with women for almost 17 years now and one thing I have learnt is that women have accurate instincts whether they choose to ignore them of not. I am sure at some point in her courtship period or in her marriage she saw his character traits and made a conscious decision to stay no matter what and that is why she accorded you the call to let you know that she knew and as long as you do not affect her space she was accepting of the co-sharing. I am curious, you haven’t mentioned children with him, why is that?

She replies,

I should have mentioned, he medically made sure he could not have children and he told me before hand. I knew what I was getting into but 9 years later I am experiencing a change of heart. I would like a child but he is closed off from any option. I really wanted to be seen as special by a man and by becoming his compatible sex mate I had that but once for some reason that excitement is not there. I do not want to leave him. I know for a fact that pastures are not greener out there but how do I rewire myself to run with status quo without showing that it bothers me.

Maurice replies,

Only you can make that choice. If you left, would you find a better version of man who will give you all the social variables you want, the chances are very slim so better the devil you know. On the other hand, is your sanity and peace of mind worth status quo considering only age will slow him down and by then it is more of less guaranteed that if your sexual appetite remains you will inevitably explore other sexual suitors.

She replies,

Gosh, I never looked at it that way. So it’s up to me to decide what’s best looking into the future.

Maurice replies,

Yes my dear. Do this, take a piece of paper and draw a line in the middle. On one side list all the things that you love about him and your current life. Also list the things that you would miss if you were to leave. On the other side list what 10 years from now would look like in your ideal World, list 10 things that are important to you, especially without him in your life and probably you fall in-love again. One of the sides will draw you to pursue it, give yourself 8 weeks and after sometime you will find yourself sub consciously drifting into spicing status quo or preparing to embark on a new journey. Whatever your choice do not live your life in regret.

She replies,

Thank you Matheka. You have been more than helpful and given me a new perspective on my situation. Be blessed.

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