What’s up Maurice.
Dude I never thought I would be writing to any man to solve my issues but at this juncture I need your honest opinion before I make my decision.
Maurice asks,
What’s going on mate?
He replies,
Well, I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years and I finally surprised her and proposed to her, on my knees if I may add.
Maurice asks,
When did you propose to her?
He replies,
I proposed to her in February during Valentines at our favorite restaurant. Dude she cried it was just the most perfect moment and the setting was priceless.
Maurice asks,
So where’s the issue?
He replies,
After knowing and living with someone for 4 years it is a bit shocking when she decides to side with her family especially after she had assured me that she would never allow her family to bully me. My side of the family have already gone through the traditional meetings and the main issue for me and for my family is that her family are literally selling her to us.
Maurice asks,
What do you mean, please expound?
He replies,
Apart from the customary livestock that I should provide. Her Dad and uncles have seen some capitalistic opportunity and are now demanding for a further 30 cattle and a cash payment of ksh1,500,000. Note that the wedding will cost roughly the same. Dude that’s over 3 million bob. I don’t even earn 10% of that amount.
Maurice replies,
If I may ask, how old are you and what do you do for a living? And are you by any chance from a wealthy family?
He replies,
Dude I am 28 and I am a middle management banker. My father is very established in real-estate, he has been for over 40 years so yes my father has money but I am still trying to grow myself like he did.
Maurice my biggest issue right now is that my fiancee has shown me a side of her that I had never witnessed before. She refuses to see logic, I told her that the total dowry being demanded for is out of my ability. She told me that my family could afford it. I then just walked away and I put a stop on the family meetings. I love my fiancee with all my heart but I do not want my father to pay for my bride. If I can’t afford her I would rather not have her in my life. What is your opinion on the matter?
Maurice replies,
Let’s look at the facts.
1) Your fiancee should be on your side no matter what. If you can’t side with each other now what kind of a marriage will you have!
2) Dowry is a customary offering to the parents of the bride that should never be ‘an avenue to gain wealth’. And dowry is paid over a period of time. That used to be the norm but nowadays it’s too commercial.
3) Your fiancee is priceless like the setting you had when you proposed to her. No amount of cash should be tagged on her. No amount of cash should be able to buy any woman.
4) Newly weds should never ever start the foundation of marriage with financial constraints, this inevitably asserts a lot of pressure on the marriage with other marital obligations and demands not being met.
In my experience I have seen too many men walk out of their marriage within one year, not because of love but because they could not keep up the lifestyle the wife demanded, why? Because they gave all their savings to their father-in-law in the name of gaining their bride.
Maurice asks,
Do you feel like walking away ‘be honest’?
He replies,
Yes I do. I have contemplated leaving. But we have come so far for me to give up.
Maurice replies, 
I hear bro. You need to remind your fiancee where you have both come from, from your infant beginnings to where you are now. Tell her, it’s not that you don’t value her, the fact is you can’t meet her family’s demands. I can not predict if she will see the light but without her unconditional support at this early stage I can only imagine what precedent she has set in your mind and trust me, you do not want to begin to resent your wife to be in the future due to her actions today. That will gradually crumble your marriage.
Talk to her, make her understand that you want to be your own man. You want to gain her as your wife through your own effort not through your father’s wealth. She is your woman, the woman you love with all your heart. She is not a commodity with a price tag.
I wish you the best and I really hope she sides with you.
He replies,
Thanks Maurice. I do hope things work out.
A WOMAN WHO TRULY LOVES A MAN UNCONDITIONALLY WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS TO BE MARRIED TO HIM AND BE BY HIS SIDE ALWAYS, THEY WILL THEN GROW TOGETHER AND BUILD THEIR OWN EMPIRE
Ladies, do not let your family dictate to your man or bully your man. You may let go of or discourage your true love because he could not meet the dowry demands and end up marrying the man who can afford everything but all he can offer you in return is a lot of misery. The choice is yours, make the right one.
mauricetherapy 
Our African backward thinking and ancient traditions are killing marriages
Matheka, the highest bidder wins
Been there done that, families met once and I bailed there after similar story
why get married if this is the stress levels you will encounter, there are so many women you can’t maliza them you get daktari
maurice i drove my husband away after 10 months of marriage and can you imagine before that we were so happy for a good 6 years. he is married again and he is happy but guess what i am single with no husband and no child. sometimes us women are influenced by family and at that time of organizing the wedding you can easily be in a status of them vs us. i pressured him to deliver and i lost a good man thats all i know.
aaaati what, how much, you must be joking
maurice what is this bull shit, there’s no time for diplomacy tell the guy to run
When I got married 9 years ago I thought the asking price was way too steep for me so I broke a few rules and requested for a one on one with my wife’s father. He accepted and we engaged he a cordial chat, with all due respect I voiced my concerns and I told him how I felt about his daughter and what I promise to give her in 5 years and so on and so forth and he understood where I was coming from and the dowry was reduced. I was then able to plan our future. It is very true a marriage started while you are broke will land you in troubled waters. Until today I still do things for my in-laws not because I have to but because I want to. And yes it is crucial that your partner supports you all the way otherwise as you said you will resent her for not siding with you when you needed her most.
Good advise.
Maybe he should man up and try Joe’s. All said and done, its all money. We die we leave it here, holding on to it too much will stress you for nothing. What does your father say about all this? Is he gladly willing to dish out 3M as a gift to his son? Is your pride getting in the way of receiving this gift? How much do you figure she’s worth?
Then again, maybe your marriage is already doomed. Your wife probably thinks you are a mean person. 3M means different things to different people.
Think it through, very very carefully. Ask for wisdom from God. Don’t let emotion cloud your decision. Remember it will be a few days/weeks thinking that will affect the next half of your life.
maurice i prefer it when you write about sex 🙂
damp her she aint worth sh.1.50 even.there mny better fish in the sea kwani anathahabu nini bure kabisa.
Young man that was sound advise I have been married for 41 years
Keep it up