mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I need your help. I don’t know where to begin because I don’t want judgement. I need to figure out why my girl is stepping out on me. I am Ghanaian. I have lived in Kenya for 6 years.

Maurice replies,

My job is not to judge, that’s the job for non professionals. Once I have all the social variables of your story, mine is to profile, deduce and share my analysis of your predicament. Does that make sense?

He replies,

Yes it does. Thank you. I was a bit worried because I consulted with a religious counselor and there was nothing but judgement.

Maurice replies,

Worry not, please do share.

He replies,

I have been seeing this lady for the last 2 years. It’s an affair that went beyond it’s expiry date but I am not complaining because I grew to really like her but now I noticed, after going through her phone, that she is still fucking her ex-husband who lives with another woman.

Maurice asks,

You mentioned it was an affair, does that mean she is currently dating someone else, I just need to be clear with the facts?

He replies,

Yes, she separated with her ex-husband 6 years ago. She has a current boyfriend, they have been together about 3 years. When we met she told me she quickly realised she did not love him and at the time they met she just needed a companion. They live apart because of her two children.

Maurice asks,

How old are you and how old are the people in this love nest if you don’t mind me asking?

He replies,

I am 41. She is 32. Her ex is 47 and her current boyfriend is 35.

Maurice asks,

Have you confronted her with the information and why would you do through her phone? What are you seeking to be in her life?

He replies,

I did not tell her I went through her phone but I told her that I had a feeling she was fucking another man and she did not hesitate to casually share with me that she was sexual active with her ex.

Maurice replies,

Well, why is that a problem considering you are also having sexual relations with her, it can’t be an issue of exclusivity because you are tasting her vagina without consent from her boyfriend, isn’t that fact?

He replies, 

I was just shocked and hurt that she was fucking another behind my back. I am okay with her fucking her boyfriend but I don’t expect to share her with two men. I am spending over $1,000 every month to give her a certain lifestyle so she should limit her sexual activities to me and her boyfriend.

Maurice asks,

Did you ask her why she was still having sex with her ex and I am curious, do you by any chance know their sex schedule?

He replies,

From their chat, they normally meet at different venues. I could not believe that she was honest enough to tell me that they made a pact that if they ever broke up she would still have the privilege of his ‘sweet dick’. How could she share such with me, your Kenyan women are strange. Where I am from a woman would not dare to reveal such in fear of a beating.

Maurice replies,

My good man, let us stay away from beating women, not unless you are referring to a tongue lashing on her clit that makes her cum in your mouth. Anyway, I digress, as you have said, you had no intention of making your affair long term but due to human feelings that grow and change the relationship dynamic at some point you got hooked. Most of all, you forgot your relevance in your relations with her. You were her fling, her avenue of thrills but once you prolonged your stay, your psychology became one of provision. You became what Kenyans call a ‘sponsor’. I am sure you did not receive the memo but that is your relevance at this point in time. Her ex-husband’s relevance is ‘his dick’ and that is why despite having you and her boyfriend she indulges with his shaft. For those who care to listen, I have always stated that lust is the driving force behind human sexual behaviour. In my opinion, her boyfriend is her companion. Someone she finds stability with, with whom she can attempt to love and co-exist. She may not love him the way she once thought she could but he still has some relevance. You, my friend, were her foreign thrill and still remain to have relevance but your main problem right now hence why you approached me, is the story of that man’s penis. I don’t know whether she ever complimented your sexual prowess but this revelation about her ex’s sexual skills is burning you from the inside out and has most likely made you doubt your own manhood.

The reason why she confidently shared is because she feels you have that liberal friendship and connection that allows for anything to be shared. My only worry for you, is that if you show her that you are intimidated by her sharing trait then she might in turn point out that your relationship is not about exclusivity nor conservative relations. I hope you understand what I am saying otherwise you need to rethink your relationship with her. Sometimes a woman just needs a liberal male friend she can fuck once in awhile and most of all a man who is a non-judgmental friend with whom she can share her life stories with. Perhaps her boyfriend is not the listener type. Unless you want to leave, if I were you I would be working on improving my relevance, be a better listener, a better lover, work on new ways of delivering orgasmic intimacy and stop thinking about a penis that is not on your body.

He replies,

Boss, you do not mince your words do you! I never looked at it that way. Very insightful. But also not easy to accept but I appreciate your candor. Actually a Kenyan friend of mine was like Matheka will lay it down for you.

Maurice replies,

I am curious, after 2 years of this affair what made you suspicious of her?

He replies,

I have known her routine and she is usually honest about her day to day activities. But there is a day I asked her where she was and she lied she was at work. She works in Nairobi but her phone locator said she was in Naivasha. She told me they had a Directors meeting only for me to find out she was in another type of ‘meeting’. I asked her why she had never told me about fucking her ex expeditions and she replied “I don’t tell him about you fucking me and neither do I ask you if you are fucking anyone else”.

Maurice replies,

Clearly she knows what she wants from her relations. It’s time you realign yourself into the network or you eject yourself. I do not see her conforming to any restrictive conservative parameters.

He replies,

Thank you Maurice. What I have understood is that I was ready to fool around with someone’s woman but the minute I grew feelings for her I became obsessive and emotionally invested in a relationship I manufactured in my head.

Maurice replies,

That is a very good prognosis of your psychological condition. So now, its down to choice. Please do keep me posted.