Dear Maurice,
I hope this finds you well. I wanted to update you on my marriage. Last year in May when we approached you and we had our three sessions with you things got much better between my wife and I. During the sessions I honestly got to understand my manhood and especially got better at pleasuring my wife. She even complimented my efforts for a period of time. But I believe our marriage is in troubled waters. After all the strides we have made to better our connection, a week ago I found out that she was still having an affair with the young man who caused us to seek your consult. As you know after 9 years of nothing but loyalty towards her it is extremely hurtful to know that your wife shares a bed with another man or in this case a 24 year old boy.
Maurice, I need you to explain to me why she could go back to him. How does a 29 year old woman fall for a boy. When we met she told me she was only interested in older men so is a 41 year old man not enough for her and considering I have given her everything she has ever wanted.
Maurice replies,
If I may, let me take you down memory lane. You married her when she was 20 and pregnant. You then took responsibility and embarked on a journey to learn how to love her and keep her happy and safe. Am I on the right track so far?
He replies,
Yes, what’s your point?
Maurice replies,
In an ideal World, all your actions towards your wife should brand you as man of the year but due to the many social variables that also influence our relationship, as you took on your responsibilities you neglected to make her feel like a woman. As you confirmed there was little affection other than your ability to flood her with luxury. Granted, you are actually a good man when it comes to providing for your family but you failed in the area of emotion and dispensing of love. Your sex life completely lacked seduction. For most of your years it was obligational sex. Then the so called boy uncloaks within her periphery. She had only known you as her only sex partner. For almost 8 years she had nothing to compare. Here comes a young man who unveils to her another World of pleasures and confuses her sexual orbit. When sexual stimulus is registered in our brain it usually becomes an addiction which lapses until ignited again. When you both came to me, I made it very clear that moving forward would have to be mutual and that you needed to leave the past to have a chance of a new beginning. For the duration of our sessions, I witnessed a lot of commitment from both of you and what made it easier was that you were both willing to reconnect by doing things that were out of your comfort zone. We dealt with both your relationship & sexual psychology and by the time we had our last session you were heading in the right direction. So in your opinion what changed, have you confronted her about her continued affair?
He replies,
I admit I was not the most affectionate husband but after I forgave and agreed to change she still goes ahead and betrays me again. She is a mother of a 9 year old boy. She is meant to be a respectable house wife not acting like a whore.
Maurice replies,
Just based on your last comment, need I remind you that you were once a 31 year old man who preyed on a young girl and I am sure it’s her whore-ish attributes that you were interested in at that period. You have every right to be annoyed but do not forget the fact that your courtship foundation was weak. It comprised of lustful moments and periods shared between you and her. The two of you were never in-love but you were soaked in infatuation which is not a bad thing but considering your predicament today your initial intent never had futuristic projections.
He replies,
I hear what you are saying but it does not justify her behaviour does it?
Maurice replies,
For me right now its about finding out why she went back to that young man. I can only make a relevant deduction once I have the facts. You did not answer me, have you confronted her?
He replies,
Yes, I was avoiding that question. She said something hurtful.
Maurice asks,
Which was?
He replies,
She said, she is not sure if she ever really loved me. She said, she was too young to know what it really means to love a man. She allegedly has feelings for him that she never had for me. She mentioned that his touch was different, what the hell does that even mean!Were those words not just meant to hurt me! Is she not just dicktimised and going through a phase. For me to write you, I am willing to do anything to fix this. You have my consent to reach out to her and tell her that this is madness. Is she willing to sacrifice the lifestyle I afford her for this loser. Remind her that with all my opportunities I never ever cheated on her. My only failure was thinking that splashing her with money and gifts was enough. Maurice, I don’t know what magic you will have to perform but I need my wife back. Whatever classes we need to attend I will but this cannot be the begin of the end.
Maurice replies,
I will reach out to her but I cannot make any promises. The most I can do is get her side of the story and profile your relations within the last 12 months inclusive of establishing any triggers that may have caused her diversion.
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The unholy me would have just let her have her slices on the side. Someone said sio sabuni. Just because you are one woman, doesn’t mean she has to. That side dish might just make your sex life better. HIV is real though. And so is a myriad of many STDs
Just by the way the guy describes his wife, it is obvious he does not love or respect her. He simply sees her as some possession that he owns. He must be a poor lover judging by her response. Clearly, he is not enough for her. Material things will not make her love you, especially since you seem to view her as some lowly being that must conform to your idea of what an ideal wife should be. His desire to win her back has nothing to do with his feelings for her, which are non-existent. He just wants a boost to his ego that he got her back from a 24 year old.
What he fails to realize is that women crave love. If you love us, we’ll walk to the moon and back for you. Nothing else matters.
Please stop referring to the mother to your child as a whore when you are the one who has failed her. You are no match for her so step aside.