Dear Maurice,
I really need your help. I made one small mistake and now my man does not want me back in his life.
Maurice asks,
What did you do, and when you say your man, is he your boyfriend or husband?
She replies,
He is my ex boyfriend. Three years ago I left him because we were struggling financially. I left him with our child who was 2 years old at the time. We lived in an SQ in South B.
Maurice asks,
Why did you leave him?
She replies,
Please do not judge me. I just felt he was not trying hard enough to progress in life and I fell for another man who promised me a lot that I wanted only for him to disappoint me. I wanted bigger things in life and thought this other man would offer me a better life but all he did was use me.
Maurice replies,
So why do you want your ex back?
She replies,
Even though I was with the other guy I always followed up with my ex especially on social media. When I found out that his catering business had gained traction and that he had moved from the SQ to a two bedroom house I felt guilty for leaving him so I came back and begged him to see my son. He agreed and told me that he had never restricted me from seeing our son but we are done as a couple because I chose to leave him for another man. I have been staying with him since November because the man I was with stopped paying for my one bedroom apartment. I have tried everything to seduce him into bed but he said he can not even get an erection for me. Maurice, I am so stressed. Can you imagine he allows his casual girlfriend to sleep over with our son in the same house. When I am sleeping with my son I sometimes hear them having sex in the other room. This is so wrong. Please help, how do I get him to chase her and want me again?
Maurice replies,
Honestly, I really don’t see you having a future with him. The minute you left him because you felt he was not providing as you expected he was most likely hurt for a while and at some point he moved on. You are actually lucky you have a good ex who is mature enough not to punish your son by preventing you from contact. As for his ‘casual girlfriend’, that’s his house, you abide by his rules or you find your own place. He is very much entitled to have sex with whomever he wants. You have no right to attempt to dictate. You should be grateful that you have a roof over your head and I am sure he is feeding you. I am curious, this other man who let you go, what happened?
She replies,
Maurice, you are being so harsh with me. I made a mistake and I regret it.
Maurice replies,
That is fair enough, but it’s my duty to point out the facts. So what happened with the other guy?
She replies,
He is married. I was with him for 3 years. He treated me like a queen and last year in September out of nowhere he told me that he no longer loved me and that he was giving me 2 months to find a place to stay. I pleaded with him but he told me he had already invested more than he had planned to. He had promised marriage but kept delaying so last year in July I called his wife and told her that I no longer wanted to be a secret and that did not please him. He continued to pay my rent and upkeep but he went quiet for a month.
Maurice replies,
So you dated a married man for 3 years hoping that he would deliver paradise. I hope you realise that all your current problems are self inflicted. You left a man who was struggling with his hustle and decided to become another man’s lust factor, and then you killed that lust by disrupting his family. How old are you if I may ask?
She replies,
I am 24.
Maurice replies,
My dear, you need to humble yourself and slow your roll. I feel that you have a sense of entitlement and that you believe that you deserve luxury just because you are woman. You will not survive the social arena with that attitude. You have a commodity called a vagina and once men establish your material desires they will dangle that carrot and surely you will be baited ‘hook line & sinker’. By the time you realise your social errors your vagina will have mileage with nothing to show for it. Yes you made a mistake but it was not a small one. You crushed a man’s ego and now you want him back because he is doing well for himself which in my books means you want to be a parasite in his life. It is offensive to men to think that your wrongs can be rectified or forgiven by the use of your feminine lure. You are mistaken. I have seen your photo and I can attest to the fact that you are an attractive young woman but to your ex, your vagina lost value the minute your devalued his manhood. It’s as simple as that. For how long as he allowed you to stay at his place and if he were to ask you to leave where would you go?
She replies,
The married man never wanted me to work. He used to give me 40k per month after paying for my bills. I have a small salon but it is struggling. I can only afford a bedsitter but those areas are usually dangerous. He told me he is giving me until July to sort myself out. Instead of being rude can you give me a solution!
Maurice,
It is unfortunately that all you have digested is my perceived rudeness. It would be great to instantaneously pull out a rabbit from my magical hat at this point but after analyzingthe variables your odds are extremely slim. Maybe in the future he may want you back for some reason or another but for now I would advice that you live by his rules and seek out an alternative place to stay. Find a balance, live within your means as you reconnect with your son and find ways to improve your business. Those in my opinion are the things you need to concentrate on and stop meddling in your ex’s affair otherwise he might eject you sooner. I strongly urge you to remodel yourself and strife to becoming a better focused independent woman. If you continue to flaunt your youthful beauty the vultures of this World will devour you and if you meet the wrong click they will turn you in their recreational centre.
She replies,
So I am supposed to live under those conditions?
Maurice replies,
My dear, your ex is housing you and feeding you. After all you did to him he is also giving you access to your son. I know your issue is that you cannot handle rejection and that you hate having to see him sexually connected with his girlfriend but those are the consequences that befall you considering you were the one that planted the seed that led to this point. When I consider all the facts, it is not in my power to make your ex find you attractive. Like I said, your priority should be your son and your business. You should give love and men a break before they break you. I wish you luck my dear.
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Wow. Just wow. You live under someone’s roof and want to dictate terms on how he should live in his own house? There is nothing wrong with him bringing his girlfriend over to his house. What is wrong is that you think you can get any man and when that fails, you have the nerve to throw tantrums. Girl, grow up already. Get your shit together. You won’t be 24 forever.
this is a gone case my guy…………..no need to advise her.
Nice advice