Dear Maurice,
I think you are the only guy I know who can make sense of an issue I have in my relationship. I have been dating my girlfriend for 14 months and she is a dream come true apart from one thing about her.
Maurice asks,
What is that one thing?
He replies,
She has many male friends and I have a problem with a few of them.
Maurice replies,
Do you have a problem with her having male friends or is it specific male friends?
He replies,
After reading your blog it hit me that my concern of male friends having sexual intentions is real. That is why I am asking for your opinion.
Maurice replies,
In regards to the stats of 60% of male friends having other intentions towards their female friend is real, over decades there have been plenty of studies that have confirmed this fact. But I can only advise you more accurately if you give me all the facts in your relationship.
He replies,
My issue is that a few of them still call her at odd hours of the night when she is at my place.
Maurice asks,
What are odd hours?
He replies,
Calls at midnight when we are enjoying our quality time, even as late as 4am she will still pick calls. They proceed to imply they could pick her up for a night out. It gets frustrating that she does not always make it clear she is at her boyfriend’s place and even when she does I can imagine those guys have no respect for me at all. Would they appreciate me calling their women at odd hours? I do not think so. They must see me as a passing cloud.
Maurice asks,
How old are you both and are you exclusive to one another and what does she want from this relationship?
He replies,
Yes as far as I know we are exclusive. She is 29 and I am 34. She wants us to take it further in September 2015, she wants us to get married and have kids.
Maurice replies,
I am guessing you want the same?
He replies,
Yes I do. She says I am paranoid and that insecurity in a man is not attractive. What she forgets is that I have plenty of female friends too but I made a choice 6 months ago to have her as my priority and those who are real friends will understand and be supportive of my relationship.
Maurice replies,
Well, in my opinion there’s a very thin line between being paranoid and seeing the obvious. I believe your concern is valid and if she really wants this relationship to work long term she needs to realise that lifestyle adjustments are required otherwise she will cause you to lose interest if you have to fight for simple things. Phone calls from male friends at odd hours will not benefit your relationship. The same way odd hour calls from females directed to you would not be tolerated by her. That said, we must consider her status.
He replies,
What do you mean?
Maurice replies,
Is she ‘really’ ready to commit to you with the same level of commitment? The answer will determine your future. She may genuinely want to be with you but she may also not be willing to disconnect with her social life. In your case it is a reality that has not yet be laid on the table. She has probably noticed your dedication to her and decided to play along in form of words but in reality she wants to balance you and her social life, to maintain her life that she had before you came into the picture. What I do know is that ‘balancing’ is not workable because one partner ‘you’ will feel that they are giving more to the relationship. That sentiment alone will inevitable be destructive if you do not establish a mutual way forward.
He replies,
Maurice, I have told her over and over but she always wiggles out with some justification or by making me feel I am fussing for no reason.
Maurice replies,
One thing I do not advocate for is begging. Out of love and many other emotional feelings one can attempt to prove themselves and end up looking desperate. Do not get me wrong I believe if someone is worth fighting for then you should do your best but there comes a point where you can do no more. It takes two to tango. She must also be able to identify a man who is committed and from that she is able to showcase her commitment to you willingly. You can’t and should not force it, her feelings towards you should be as clear as a blue sky. If indeed she wants to spend her life with you she should make you feel like the most important person in her life by default. That is the foundation that will give your relationship a living chance in the long term.
He replies,
Thank you. I think I will make her read this.
mauricetherapy 
that mama is not ready
why 2015, she must have unfinished business
dude dont let love blind you
unless you make a woman jealous she will walk all over you so do yourself a favor and show her other women are attracted to you
@patrick That is why Matheka is the therapist, logic is clearly not your friend, have you been hurt before is that it?
Good advice Maurice, love your work, keep it up.
My ex husband of 9 years insisted they were just friends until I found out he had a friends with benefits pact with a woman I used to share everything with. She was his friend for 12 years. So Maurice I agree with you. Some friends are not what they seem.
y don’t u start by Callin ur girlfriends al the time then u c how she will react.
lol! good one!
Homeboy Maurice,the advice is on point and like any other thing we humans do or need,they all come with requirements and specifications so is every relationship,if indeed she does respect what they have,then even the pals will respect it,but if she doesn’t then that’s why even at 4am its okay she be called n picked.he needs to know that some things are not rocket science and actions speak louder than words.
Hmmm
hi maurice i have an issue.have been dating this guy for close to 4yrs and he seems to flirt with any new chic he finds attractive.when i snoop and get watsapp messages,texts etc of him doind his ‘thing’ he promises hell change says hes sorry then does it again afew mnths or weeks later with a new chic or an old 1 that hed said hed keep away from.I sometymz feel like I dont understand him coz when i ask why he does it,he says ‘he doesnt know’.Iv told him repaetedly I dont like it and cant understand why he cant just be friends with girls without flirting.did i mention weve brojen up twice this year.1st was because I found nude pics of a chic I had enquired about and he had constantly lied they are just pals that were keeping tabs on each other after they met @ an interview! And the 2nd breakup is recent as I found out he went out of his way to ask for a girls no. That Iv suspected hes had a thing for since campus and apperently drunk dialled her as he wanted to go to where she was……whats up with this??Im a good woman,treat him good and all but I think sometimes the physical appearance is all he lives for in a woman and that I dont quite fit in his criteria.also why does he come back to me mnths later and speak of a future and the l word!
Your advice is on point !!