mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 2 years, I am 39 years old and I have 3 kids. The last 2 years have been pretty difficult for me. My husband has not been behaving as a husband and father to my children should. Over the last 2 years he has constantly provoked me to initiate arguments in our home because he does not follow my requests or demands. He would rather spend his money socializing and partying with his peers till well past midnight. He finally gets home at 2am and expects me to be fine with his arrival time. He is driving me up the wall and I do not know how much of this I can take. He tells me he loves me everyday and we are still intimate but why then does he spend so much time away from his family. I have a feeling he is doing much more than just hanging out with his friends.

Maurice asks,

You suspect he is cheating on you?

She replies,

I have found Hotel receipts and what I can only assume are dining receipts. He leaves evidence everywhere so it’s not so hard to find it. My husband is not the romantic dinner kind of guy so he must be going out of his way to impress some woman or maybe women. I was previously married to an older man who tormented me for 7 years and I can’t go through that emotional pain again.

Maurice asks,

How old is your husband and is he the father of your kids?

She replies,

My husband is 31 and he is the father of one of my children, why do you ask?

Maurice replies,

You mentioned you were married to an older man so it hit me that your current husband may be younger which you have confirmed.

She replies,

What does this mean?

Maurice replies,

Well, your concerns about possible infidelity may be valid but in the other hand your husband may only be acting out his age. He is no child at 31 however if you married a socially active man, despite his responsibilities as your husband, he may still want to be active in the social arena hence your predicament. If I may ask, what lead you to marrying him?

She replies,

After my divorce I closed myself from men for 4 years. Three years ago I met my husband, a young charming man who gave me more attention than I had ever known before. He unlocked the woman in me, the lonely memories of torment had gone and for the first time in a very long while I was happy.

Maurice asks,

Did he propose to you?

She replies,

Not really, we just spoke about marriage for a while till one day we begun planning for our wedding.

Maurice replies,

Based on the information, I am leaning more on the notion that your husband, although the thought may have excited him, was not ready for the responsibilities of being a husband and father hence why he still says he loves you and that your bedroom affairs are alive and healthy. In his mind he is still your boyfriend. You need to groom him over time to become that husband you desire and you also need to find a balance where he does not feel trapped in the marriage.