mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 14 years, I got married when I was 26 and my wife was 24. For the last 14 years I have done nothing but be a good husband and provide for my family.

We have two kids who are both in boarding school so my wife and I get to have quality time or should I say used to have quality time. Things in my opinion changed about a year ago when she suddenly gained her own life, she started to exclude me from her day to day activities and it moved on to her going on short breaks alone I assume, don’t get me wrong we have always made time for ourselves to give each other space and as they say the heart grows fonder. Maurice I felt alone for such a long while until I confronted the matter with her a week ago and she shocked me with her testimonial, if I may call it that. She claims that after our four year of marriage I became too predictable and what hurt me most was to hear her say that our sex life has never ‘taken her there’ I believe as men we both know what she means. I am in a stalemate; she has bruised my ego, my manhood completely and I have no idea where the marriage is going. Is there a marriage to salvage?

Maurice replies,

Despite your unfortunate predicament it sounds like you are contemplating leaving or are those just emotions getting the better of you?

He says,

To be frank I have dedicated my life to my wife and looking back I had many opportunities to cheat on her to satisfy my own cheap thrills but I honesty thought our marriage was next to perfect. Can you believe I have never come home later than 7pm and I always kept her updated of my movements, isn’t that what women look for in a man, a man who loves to go home to his wife or did I misunderstand my vows to her? Fourteen years is a long time to throw it all a way but what option do I have, I can’t live in the same home with my wife as if we were housemates and we are somewhat in that situation.

Maurice replies,

Have you asked her if there’s more to this than you being predicable and does she still love you?

He says,

I am even embarrassed to say it but she did say that she still loves me but as a friend she can’t see me as a sexual partner anymore and she made it very clear that if she chooses to see someone else I will be the first to know. Seriously, what is wrong with humanity, what do women want, you give your life to one woman and you get the same treatment as a man who cheats or worse. Right now I am fearful for our kids. I fear separation will affect them I don’t even want to think about it. Maurice what do you advise I do, be honest do you see this marriage going back to what it once was? Can she change her mind and see that she is making the biggest mistake of her life?

Maurice replies,

In my professional opinion your wife is either going through a phase of some kind of mid life crisis or she wants out of the marriage. However without having a session with the both of you this is mere speculation and I would hate to categories your relationship status based on scenario probabilities. What is clear is that for the last 10 years your wife has harboured negative energy and like a volcano she has finally erupted and now here you are in this dilemma. There’s a logical reason why couples seek counseling and I highly recommend that we go down that avenue to attempt to resolve this by finding out what is really eating her up. I know you are hurting, but it would be productive to hear both sides of the story so we have a set foundation to more forward.