mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I really need your consult on an issue that is about to turn my marriage upside down. I am 46 years old, my hubby is 54, and we have been married for 17 years. We have 3 children. For the last 11 years my husband has cheated on me with several women and after experiencing so much pain and dramatic periods in my life I came to accept him for the man he is, a persistent relentless cheat. You may find it odd that I chose to stay but for me I could not see an alternative life and from my point of view better the devil I know. As long as he provides for me and the children that was enough for me and still is, however I don’t know why I started doing some digging into the ownership of our properties and to my shock I discovered that my husband shares ownership of our current urban home with a woman other than myself. From what I have found out this has been the case for the last 4 years. What would make a man behave in this manner, does this mean he is planning to leave me, I am in disbelieve?

Maurice replies,

Some men do go through an array of behavioral changes as they grow older, like mid life crisis, however your husband’s choice to co-own your home with another woman is extreme to say the least. Considering you know your husband’s infidelity had been going on for years, how do you live under the same roof, do you communicate, are you intimate, did you chose to stay as his wife and play your role and ignore his other deeds?

She replies,

After he had his third affair I quickly realized that I knew the man I married, he was a womanizer when we met and I guess that was one of the attractive traits in him but I expected him to one day exhaust that side of him, clearly I was mistaken, even in his fifties he is still prowling the social scene looking for his next high from younger women. I believe I tolerate him and in some strange way I still love him. I guess I did subconsciously make a choice to stay knowing that after all his deeds out there he would eventually return home to his family. In regards to our intimacy, well our last born was conceived 9 years ago. Our sex life is probably once or twice a month. My major worry right now is how do I confront him about the information I have about our home, I don’t want him to know that I have been snooping around; I fear how he may react?

Maurice asks,

Did you acquire that property together?

She replies,

Yes we did but at the time he refused to co-own our home with me, though our up-country home is solely in my name.

Maurice replies,

I can’t comment on the legal aspects of your current situation but I can tell you that you have every right as his wife to question the ownership of your home. If he denies you the information you seek then I recommend you seek legal advice to know what your options are. It is also extremely critical that you both get tested considering your husband has had multiple partners and you are still having sex with him.