Dear Maurice,
My husband chats for many hours with his colleague on Whatsapp. I found their messages and read them. She said how much she misses my husband and that he has shown her what real love is.
Maurice asks,
Is he aware that you know?
She replies,
I confronted him and accused him of cheating, I told him that I hated that he would get back on whatsapp after we had sex or when he thought I was asleep, but he denied cheating on me. He said they only flirt and that they have never had sex. He also said he hangs out with her for polite drinks after work and enjoys their deep conversations and that he has kissed her twice but not out of love but drunken lust.
Maurice asks,
What was your reaction?
She replies,
This made me very mad because I can never get him to talk to me for long like he does with his colleague. He insists that he is not actually cheating because he has never slept with her, but for me emotional cheating is even worse than the physical. How do I get him to see that he is jeopardising our relationship?
Maurice replies,
The reality of your situation is that your husband has not been faithfully. It does not matter how he defines or labels his relationship with this other woman. The fact that he admits to kissing her breaks his vow to you. I believe you have suspected him of cheating for a while after you noticed his phone distraction. I also believe that for you to be seeking help you are looking for a way forward that may not involve leaving him. On that front I do not bear good news because for your husband to be confident enough to admit to his relations with another woman he must also not be in fear of any repercussions. In my opinion that means there is a major disconnect in your marriage. At this juncture of your marriage what you need to find out is why. Why was he not afraid to implicate himself and what led him to seek social comfort from another woman? Once you isolate the root cause of his actions then you can both make a decision on whether you have a future or not. I will await your feedback.
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If required to travel out of Nairobi, travel cost and accommodation must be catered for.
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Link to package details: https://mauricetherapy.com/session-packages/
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I read your post on Sexting.
I went through the same thing with my husband lately last year. I was not disappointed because of the relationship he had reignited with his ex. I was more disappointed because they spoke negatively about me.
I have given him two children and worked hard to help him finish the house. I never ask him for money yet he wants me to stop being philanthropic with mine.
I have not had any sexual contact with him because I saw that they were planning on having a child together.
I don’t believe that he ever loved me.
He married me because she refused to marry him since he was not rich. She married another man who has given her a comfortable life.
My husband is not kinky and honestly I find it hard to forget even though we talked about it and I forgave him but could not risk my babies lives with a man who planned on having babies with another woman.
She is beautiful and I understand his weakness. I would not have been disappointed if it was senseless sex and nothing more. I believe in openness and I have, with time, accepted that human beings, in this generation, are promiscuous.
But discussing me negatively with his ex is disheartening.