Dear Maurice,
I need your honest opinion on something. I have been married for 18 years. I am 44 and I have done well for myself. I live the life I have always wanted but the one thing that evaded me was true love. Within our first 4 years of marriage I realised that my wife married me for comfort and luxury. She has also had a reason to entertaining her friends over the years to show off how well she has done for herself. Little do they know what a witch she really is.
Maurice asks,
Why do you say that?
He replies,
I am a very out going kind of guy but as for my wife when we got married she changed into someone I could not recognise or relate with. With no warning she became a bitter woman yet I paid her a lot of attention. I gave her a dream wedding and treated her like a Queen but it was never enough. I then made a conscious decision to seek attention elsewhere.
Maurice asks,
Did that fill the void?
He replies,
Well, that is why I need your opinion. Within the last 11 years I have had 3 girlfriends, and I love them plus size. I am on my third now but they all end up breaking set rules that I stipulate from the onset.
Maurice replies,
Please elaborate on the rules.
He replies,
I have always maintain strict rules with my girlfriends. They need to fulfill my sexual appetite and make me feel like a man at all times. No shouting like my wife just calm and collected dialogue so that we mutually find a solution to whatever hurdle we face. In return I buy them an apartment and give them a car. If they so wish I even start them a small business that they can grow. I never ask for a coin, no refund of investment, just treat me well and I will deliver how a man should.
Maurice replies,
I see you have formulated a relationship model that works for you, so where is the problem?
He replies,
The problem is that it only works for a period of time, my first girl was in my life for 5 years, my second girl was there for 4 years and now my third has been in my life for 2 years, until recently all was well she is a great lover in every aspect but she like the rest broke the cardinal rule when she uttered the words ‘I love you’. To make things worse we were having sex at the time. Once she said it she tried to down play her words but it was too late and she knew it. All the above women knew that I was not in for love but for companionship that is based on fun, more or less a friends with benefits arrangement.
Maurice replies,
I hear you loud and clear but I must ask, are your relationships with these women based on exclusivity or an open relationship?
He replies,
There is no way I can buy a girl an apartment and get her a car and allow her to sleep with other guys. Let’s be honest, does that make sense?
Maurice replies,
In the context or preserving one’s ego it makes sense that you would want them to be exclusive but in the context of not wanting them to love you I must point out that your strategy was always going to be short lived because women are not the best players of the ‘friends with benefits’ game. At some stage even if it takes years a woman will develop feelings that will lead her to love you or fall in love head over heels, altering your verbal contract.
What about your wife?
He replies,
What about her?
Maurice asks,
Is it too late to rekindle with her?
He replies,
My wife and I live like brother and sister. Rekindling is not an option. She does not even turn me on yet so many guys find her incredibly sexy. She is, but for me, I know her for her other unpleasant side that got me stressed for a long while to the point I could not even raise to the occasion. If we ever loved each other that died long ago. My question to you is whether I should just go along with this love factor and tell my girlfriend I love you even though what I love is what she does for me in and out of bed. The emotion of love does not register with me anymore, my wife killed that part of me when she took me for granted. What drives me today is the fun and excitement a woman can offer me. I am a highly sexual guy and women I have dated have confirmed it. My current girlfriend also has a love for dick and that turns me on, she is naughty just the way I like it and she is the freak I have wanted for a long time. But this love thing has distorted my imagine of her. I fear next she will ask to be my second wife or she will demand I leave my wife. I need her to snap out of this love thing and go back to loving my bodily attributes and material things that I give her. The other problem is if I do play along once I start to say I love you I will gradually lose my sexual desire for her.
Maurice replies,
I totally understand what you are saying, so what I recommend is that you sit her down and explain to her how your psyche works. If she is your compatible mate especially in relation to intimacy then you should not give up on her. What I do know is that despite your acceptable psychological tagging of your relationship that makes you comfortable you both feel the same way but the words you use to express yourselves are different. In the realm of sexuality lust and love are not that far apart. Men love things that women do or say that trigger positive energy within us. Women love with heart and soul, if you are lucky unconditionally but at the end of it all words are words, what sustains a relationship is the mutual bond, the connection between two people. In my opinion there is too much tagging of relationships and status seeking rather than getting to know someone and caring for they no matter what. Our society is full of conditions/rules and that is why humans do what they do best ‘break the rules’.
I am curious, how old are the women you date?
He replies,
I only date women over 30 years of age. I tried women in their 20s and that was a disaster. Especially women under 25, the only good thing about them is that they send you sexy naughty photos (major turn on) BUT they are also undecided species, jumpy, don’t pick calls and soon enough you find you are not the only guy in their life. They have the ability to stress you as you monitor their moves and it could cause heart ailments.
I dated a girl who was 23 once upon a time and within a few months I realised I was sharing her with 2 other guys and yet it was her who wanted to be exclusive. I left for my own sanity. Maurice, thank you for your view on the matter I believe you have highlighted and confirmed a few things. It is now very clear what I need to do.
Keep doing what you do and I like your informative you tube videos.
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mauricetherapy 
Shocking!
When a good man comes into your life you treat him so bad that you push him away
I have dated married men and I have no apologies
Wow! The complexity of men and women. As you aptly put it, men are visual creatures and women are emotional creatures. No matter how much we may want a “no commitment” relationship, we always end up getting our emotions involved and getting attached to our friends with benefits.
Too much connection with ladies while entertaining your bodily desires tend to drive them closer, the emotion thing develops. What to do next as a man is a burden.
So so true. Those young ones are stressful. I feel the dude. Been there, you give and give and give and she doesn’t realise how you feel until it is too late. Good counsel. He should maintain his current girl.
the young ones r kiddish
“Within our first 4 years of marriage I realised that my wife married me for comfort and luxury.”…Seems like 4yrs to late. They way women love is far different from the way men perceive it to be. It is driven at it’s root by biology, and the need to secure provisioning, good genes or a balance of both.
Sadly the way this plays out in the real world, especially taking socialization into consideration, is exactly the scenario you’re in, that is, if you are not aware of the basic man-woman dynamic.
“What drives me today is the fun and excitement a woman can offer me.” – Then don’t settle on one, have at at least 3, on average….4 or 5 yrs to keep them around is too long…thousand fish in the sea fam!
you might also need to get a hobbie, or find things that you love to do.
“There is no way I can buy a girl an apartment and get her a car and allow her to sleep with other guys.”…Then don’t bruh!!
“women should only ever be a compliment to a man’s life, never the focus of it.” – Rollo Tomassi
@Douglas – “Been there, you give and give and give and she doesn’t realise how you feel until it is too late. Good counsel. He should maintain his current girl”
Or more than one. 😉 Many men have been there, but as men we don’t vocalise this shit. Part of it is our innate desire to protect women and the rest is a pattern of socialization over the past 70 yrs to aid women in optimizing plan A:plan B, i.e. hypergamy.
As a wife……(i hope I get an answer)…… Am just wondering, why can’t he just leave this wife that is very bitter and a witch?????? I don’t understand!!!! Then he can live his wife in peace full of sex and without the witch…..