mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I am 23 years old and I am six weeks pregnant. Unfortunately the baby I’m carrying belongs to a married man and not my boyfriend. My boyfriend loves me very much but we have never had sex, because he is waiting for us to get married in the near future. We even already met each others families in preparation for our marriage. The married man says that I should carry the baby to term and that he will support and take care of it, yet we have no future together. What should I do because I love my boyfriend so much. Please help.

Maurice replies,

I will give you my opinion based on certain facts. Abortion is definitely not an option and never is in case the thought was linger in your mind. We now have a scenario where a child is involved and should be considered priority number one. You currently need resources and mental stability (no stress) until you give birth and thereafter. If you can provide for yourself and your child well and good that is your choice, that said, if indeed the father (the sperm donor) has confirmed that he will be responsible you need to consider securing that avenue. To avoid disappointments in the future I recommend that you seek legal advise. It is crucial that your child’s welfare comes first.

I do not want to dwell on your love status or point fingers but you need to realise that you made a choice to sleep with another man yet you state to love your boyfriend. The right thing to do is to be honest with your boyfriend however my concern with that is I do not know of his temperament. Your safety takes priority and regardless of how much you think you know someone you can never know how they will react to certain news. Perhaps you can break the news with someone neutral present.

If your boyfriend decides to stay by your side then the future will tell if that wedding will take place. From past experience with these scenarios I would advise strongly that you do not solely rely on your boyfriend to be by yourself always. I say this because it is common for a man to take up responsibility based on current emotional attachment only to later disclose to you that he is either no longer going to provide for your child or he has suddenly changed his mind about loving you and he wants to leave, why? Because all along through the months and years it has been eating him up that he is raising another man’s child. That is a risk that you cannot afford to take. So please legally secure your child’s future and whether you have a man in your life or not secure your future by attaining financial independence. If you are pursing further studies then make sure you complete them. If you are currently working, it is your duty to secure your job and career so that you can be self reliant.

I hope my advise has helped. If you need any further clarification do not hesitate to contact me.

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