Dear Maurice,
A year ago, I reconnected with a longtime acquaintance when he sent me a friend request on Facebook. He then asked me out and by the second month I was pregnant. He took responsibility, was supportive and even suggested that we get married, but I declined because we had been dating for a short period and I was not ready to have a wedding while pregnant. He was not happy about my decision but we are still together. He rented me a bigger house because of the baby and he visits every weekend – that is if he is not with his friends. He spends more time with them instead of us, and when he is with us he is always on his phone or asleep. He provides everything, and the only thing I lack is his attention. Is there something wrong with our relationship?
Maurice replies,
Based on the information you have given me I believe that your reconnection led to a reunion that was bound to fail. Considering the limited time you had spent together your first error was to have unprotected sex
with a man you hardly knew. Once you got pregnant he most likely felt an obligation to support you but this obligation was not based on love. Despite his suggestion to get married I believe that he was not entirely ready to become a family man hence why he is currently behaving in that manner. Two months is not an adequate period to take such a step as to plan for a family. It is unfortunate but it was circumstances that led you to your current predicament.
with a man you hardly knew. Once you got pregnant he most likely felt an obligation to support you but this obligation was not based on love. Despite his suggestion to get married I believe that he was not entirely ready to become a family man hence why he is currently behaving in that manner. Two months is not an adequate period to take such a step as to plan for a family. It is unfortunate but it was circumstances that led you to your current predicament. If he wants to give you attention he will, do not attempt to force it out of him. When it comes to the matters of the heart, it is best to have someone do something not because they must do it but because they want to do it. I advise that for now you concentrate on the welfare of your child as your number one priority.
If you want to know how he really feels about your relationship, then you must create an atmosphere where he will feel free to open up and tell you the truth without judgement. One way of doing so is to tell him that you know that things happened really fast and that it is time for both of you to have a heart to heart to establish whether you have a future together but regardless of your mutual decision to be together or not you will both raise your child. Whatever you do, do not pressure him to love you, and do not force a relationship because you have a child together. That kind of union rarely works. You do not want a marriage of convenience because that will only lead to future resentment and unhappiness.
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