I have been reading your blog for close to one year and I am in need of your advice. I have been having an affair with my boy’s wife.
Maurice asks,
Are you going through a guilty trip and for how long have you had the affair?
He replies,
That there is the problem, I am not feeling guilty and neither is she. Her husband left for a job abroad 3 years ago. He visits 3 to 4 times a year. This is so complicated, we are in love, its been 14 months of pure bliss.
Maurice asks,
Do they have kids?
They have known each other for 5 years but married for 3 years. It was literally 4 months after the wedding that he was offered his current job. They planned to have kids but he left. They are both career people so having kids took a back seat.
Maurice asks,
And you took the front seat. I am curious, despite the fact that people around the globe have affairs when you say he is your boy, were you close and if so why his wife when there are so many women out there?
He replied,
We did not plan to fall for each other. I have known him for 11 years.
Maurice asks,
How much time have you been spending with her since he left?
He replies,
I know I am going to sound like a right brat but he asked me to take care of her while he was away so I have been seeing her every week since he left.
Maurice replies,
Well, something tells me ‘taking care of his wife’ did not involve ruining his marriage but at least you acknowledge that you have been a right brat when it comes to making the right choices. Now that you profess to be in love is your friend in the picture of things, or are you simmering a strategy of how to tell him.
He replies,
We are clueless. We thought to Skype him before he comes home next month. He will be home for 6 weeks and she does not want to pretend and share the same bed with him. We need a way of explaining what happened was not planned, we need him to understand that it was not a way of hurting him its just two people who fell in love.
Maurice replies,
My good man, there is no soft landing for your friend. The news is going to hit him hard. His wife betrayed him with his friend and you, the man he trusted broke the friend’s code ‘wives are off limits’. There is no way he will take this lightly.
I need to ask, by any chance do you know the intervals of his communication to his wife?
He replies,
Yes, he Skypes her every day especially at night between 9pm and 2am. When she is out they communicate via whatsapp.
Maurice asks,
And you know this how exactly?
He replies,
Its been over a year since our affair so I have been around whenever he calls.
Maurice replies,
So she has been spending time at your place?
He replies,
Sometimes she comes over or I go to her place.
In short, you have been sleeping with your friend’s wife in his bed?
He replies,
I know it sounds bad.
Maurice replies,
Mate, sounding bad is an under statement, it is crossing the line and beyond, having an affair is one thing but doing it in his territory is unacceptable. I strongly advice that you both face the music, the news must come from the two of you and you must have a mediator present. There is no telling how he will react but your experience will not be a walk in the Park.
The fact is couples fall out of love for many reasons or circumstances and that is part of life. The problem here is that you are no stranger, the man who is about to come home hoping to be received positively trusted you and you took his wife from him. Prepare to face the music and you also need to know that once your circle of friends get a whisper of your affair the men in your social circle will most likely keep you at arm’s length. I hope the sacrifices deriving from this affair will be worth it for the both of you.
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wow, dude. you’re a real piece of shit. I don’t care what your excuse is, but whatever it is, it’s invalid. Maurice was a hell of a lot more diplomatic in his response than I would’ve been, although his answers are right on point. don’t like my initial response? too bad. get used to it. I don’t know anyone, male or female, that would be any kinder. I guess you deserve each other though because she’s as big a piece of shit as you are for not putting up boundaries. really dude, your friends wife? you are a real asshole. sorry, Maurice, I tried to find a better easy to express myself, but that’s what came to mind.
Seriously dude?
There is no excuse or reason good enough to explain this kind of betrayal. Worst part is that it is metted by the man he trusted to look out for her in his absence.
We don’t just fall in love with random people on the streets. We choose whom we want to love by create familiarity and an enabling environment. You both made a concious decision to stab your boy in the back. For once be responsible enough to wait and tell him face-to-face as Maurice adviced. You owe your “friend” that much at least.
I have no words. They deserve each other. I doubt they will last once the thrill is over. She will run back begging. How can she trust a man who can stab his friend in the back. Maurice your diplomacy I admire.
That guy doesn’t feel guilty? Sleeping with his friends wife knowing him for 11 years and even doing it on their bed?? Really! Maurice slap some sense into his tiny brain! NOT ACCEPTABLE PERIOD.
What is happening with men nowadays? I know hoes ain’t loyal, but, the lack of honour among men nowadays is appalling and worrisome.
“We didn’t plan to fall in love,” nigguh please! Get pussy, men should always partake in an abundance of pussy. But brother(s) if there’s a ring on it, let it be…1,000 fish in the sea, I mean that literally.
Men, unlike women, should not talk about love so nonchalantly.
“Fucking…my…boys…wife” words no man should ever admit.
Shit happens and it has happened, but at the end of it there must come severe repercussion to both partners. Be ready for it broh
This is just grossly pathetic! Have some respect for yourself and most important your friend. If your counting on happily ever after after telling your friend you are so mistaken. The relationship started wrong and will end even worse. You both need to come to your senses end it and never ever tell. Love!! You think your in love with each other now???? What are you 12??
‘we dint plan to fall in love’???niga pleaseee.. that’s a whole load of Crap!!I can assure you your romance will fizzle out quickly than you expected and the chick will be running to the hubby for forgivenes which ofcourse will be too late and for you, all your friends will not want you near them.you made your bed now be ready to lie on it.