mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

It was good to finally meet you. I attended a bridal shower where you were the speaker and a scenario you described hit home with me. I am currently in a situation of my own making and I don’t know why it has become such a big deal.

Maurice asks,

What is going on?

She replies,

At the session you describe a woman who was shopping and happened to have met her ex boyfriend with his family. You described her reaction when she saw her ex with his family looking so happy. You said she was not a happy bunny thereafter. I must confess I went through the same thing but my situation did not end at the shopping centre.

Maurice replies,

Expound.

She replies,

At the time I met my ex I was with my husband and it was my ex who saw me and after 8 years I was surprised he still recognised me, I am not the size 8 girl he once dated. Anyway, he came over with his wife and said hello. I thought to myself ‘what an awkward moment’ but little did I know my husband was going to make it worst after we introduced ourselves as old friends from back in the day.

Maurice asks,

What did your husband do?

She replies,

He invited them to join us for a drink the next day and my ex said “yes that sounds great”. That drink up transformed into a dinner, the two men had exchanged numbers and between them decided that a local drink up would not be appropriate so they arranged a double date kind of dinner and to my horror they both love Chinese food. It was the most tense dinner ever. Making up stories of how we know each other and why we lost touch. All this time my ex’s wife was quite sociable but you could tell she had question marks.

Maurice replies,

So from what I have visualized you had an awkward meeting and dinner with your ex, but where is the problem?

She replies,

I hate myself for feeling this way but I was jealous of my ex because he looked happy, his wife was very touchy with him and they stole moments and kissed several times during the dinner.

Maurice replies,

I am guessing you and your husband don’t have those moments currently?

She replies,

We have never had those moments. Seeing my ex with his wife reminded me of how we used to be together. Its like she replaced me. We used to have so much fun together and with our mutual friends. My ex is a fun loving guy and it was no surprise that he is still the same man and with his fun loving nature he still found a woman who agreed to marry him. I recall a close girlfriend told me I would live to regret leaving such a guy. But at the time I had to.

Maurice replies,

Let me guess. You left him because you thought he would never grow up to be a responsible stable husband?

She replies,

I could not believe they have 2 children and they only live about 10 minutes from our home and have done for the last 5 years.

Maurice replies,

Something tells me things for you have changed since that dinner.

She replies,

Maurice, I want to ask him out for a coffee. I am curious about so many things. Why is he so happy and I am not. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband for who he is but we have never shared that magic, that connection that gives you goosebumps.

Maurice replies,

My dear. If you are asking me whether you should go on that coffee date then the answer is no. Why, because as innocent as those coffee dates may seem they also manifest into affairs that damage families. Tell me the truth, if he held you and attempted to kiss you would you kiss him back?

She replies,

Yes I would.

Maurice replies,

Your own admission should tell you that any further prolonged contact with your ex will be detrimental to your marriage and why create an avenue that could also damage his marriage. I know you careless about the other woman but why plant a seed that could break her family. Considering he may be faithfully in love with his wife he may reject you, do you really want to take that risk, either way you will not come out as a winner.

Before you met your ex at the shopping centre did you feel like kissing anyone else? You may not have that magic with your husband but is your marriage working? Those are the questions you need to ask yourself. Temptation is everywhere but sometimes it can lead you to a much darker place. You made the choice to leave your ex so be content with the man you have. You have not described your husband as a horrible irresponsible husband all you seek right now is a cheap thrill from memories of the past and I don’t see the point of embarking on that non productive journey.

She replies,

Maurice, I agree with you but I keep thinking about what could have been. I think I am going nuts, at work I think about him and even while driving home, its like he is haunting me. He and my husband have been communicating so what is a girl to do if that temptation is forced upon you.

Maurice replies,

I highly doubt they are going to become best of friends and regularly hang out so what you need to do is cleverly discourage any further contact. If you have to you need to tell your ex that for the sake of both your marriages further contact needs to be terminated.

She replies,

Why do I not have that magical connection with my hubby?

Maurice replies,

Its simple, your social compatibility was with your ex, not everyone we fall for or marry will be able to bridge or fulfill every social element. You had a criteria that made your current husband the man you would marry. Like I said you need to be content with your husband if you aim to continue being married to him. Your husband may not be that playful fun liberal guy your ex was but you chose him, when he proposed you said yes and when you were courting I am sure you compared him to your past experiences and yet you went along and became his wife. I would like to bet that part of your criteria was his ability to provide security which majority of women seek in a man when they want to ‘settle down’. A chance meeting with your ex should not dictate or redirect your affections. Refocus on your marriage and make the most of it.

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To my readers,

I want to thank you for your support over the years. You are my driving force and without you I wouldn’t have my current readership. Thank you for your referrals and loyalty.

I want to thank those ladies that have allowed sessions to take place in their home.

I would like to urge those interested to text or whatsapp me 0720229351 (whatsapp preferred) so we can create a mixed gender group and agree on a date, place and time to host a mixed forum to discuss ‘why relationships are not working’. The sessions will create a platform for both men and women to express their thoughts on many social dynamics their make relationship a challenge.  It is NOT a forum to judge or be judged. It’s about time the truth about individual sentiments came out so relationships can move forward.

To the men, women have constantly accused you of being ignorant I would like to believe that not all men deserve that label so please contact me and tell me you want to join the mixed forum (indicate your name). Please note: for me to organise an open session its all about numbers. As much as I love to help people in their relationships it has to make financial sense for the session to take place. Numbers also make the individual fee affordable. I look forward to hearing from you.

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*Oh, I want to say hi to my newly acquired following in Australia.

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