mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

About 8 months ago I met this amazing guy and we hit it off and started to see each other regularly and that has now developed into a relationship. When we are together I feel great and he treats me like no other has.

Maurice replies,

I am waiting for the but….

She replies,

I have a man but he is abroad but at one point he will be returning to claim me as his wife. We talk frequently and this other guy knows about him. How can I love two men, is it possible or must one eventually fade away?

Maurice replies,

That is a tricky predicament. Some may tell you to pick the one who is more serious which in a Kenyan context is referring to the man who seems to be the obvious husband material ‘whatever that means’. That was rude of me to assume, you are Kenyan right?

She replies,

Yes I am. My friends have been telling me the same thing. That I should concentrate on the one who will add value to my live. The one who will marry me and take care of me.

Maurice replies,

That sounds very encouraging and somewhat practical but will you be happy with the man who fulfills that criteria. There are plenty of women who have acquired the ‘Mrs’ status but they are miserable at home alone with no emotional or physical connection with their alleged love of their life aka husband. I have a feeling that you want direction from me but sometimes your instincts will favour the right guy for you, the question is will you follow your instincts or will you settle for the man who fits the bill financially.

The worst thing you can do is settle because after a while life will shine a light on the one you should have picked. You will then probably reconnect with him as your side dish and before you know it you will be having an affair that may be far sweeter than your marriage. The other guy might as well be your second husband because of the bond you will most likely have. Living a double life is not easy but you won’t be the first nor last if you ever end up in that predicament.

She replies,

Speaking of husbands and double life, the other guy is married with a family. He is not happy at home but he was honest enough to tell me what I was getting into. The one thing I like about him is that he is real. He does not mince his words neither does he give me false hope about our future. He can never be mine but we cannot leave each other. He does not know this but when he comes to my place I feel complete and his love is so obvious with the little things he does for me.

Maurice replies,

The reality of things is that at one point your man will return to claim you as you put it and if indeed this other guy is in love with you he will definitely get hurt when you pull back from him to give your attention to your potential future husband.

She replies,

Maurice, what do I do? I do not want to regret my choice.

Maurice replies,

I cannot steer you to the right man for you because only your feelings know who that man is. All I can advice is that you go with that man who gives you goosebumps whenever you look at your phone’s caller ID and its him calling you. The man that induces excitement, the one that makes you smile like an idiot in public and people around you are wondering why you are so happy. The man who spoons with you and there is no other place you would rather be but right there in his arms. That is the man you should keep.

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