mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I have been married for 14 years. We have 3 grown up kids who have all left the home which leaves me and our two maids. I say this because for the last 5 years my husband has been an elusive figure in our home. Like a wild animal I think he only comes home to feed or to mate when his masculine instincts kick in. Couples have their ups and downs but this to my horror has dragged for far too long. How do I get my husband’s attention?

Maurice replies,

Firstly, 5 years is a long time to maintain a routine in one’s lifestyle so getting your husband to switch gears is going to be a tall order. When he is being elusive as you say, have you any idea where he goes?

She replies,

He is mostly with his friends at our local golf club or seeking out new social places.

Maurice asks,

Why are you not with him when he is out?

She replies,

I have never been an out doors person, to be perfectly honest it has been pretty difficult catching up and putting up with my husband’s social life. I also do not particularly like his friends. I believe a good majority are a bad influence.

Maurice asks,

Bad influence how?

She replies,

My husband is one of the older group members. He has always hanged out with younger friends. I don’t know if that makes him feel youthful but I wish he would make me his priority and not them.

Maurice asks,

Are you telling me that from the beginning you have tolerated your husband’s social life and never once enjoyed being part of his social circle?

She replies,

I married at 20 and my husband is 12 years my senior. He is all I have ever known. I have always fought for his attention but he always fought for his freedom.

Maurice asks,

Do you believe your husband loves you and has he ever given you a reason to doubt his fidelity?

She replies,

Yes I do believe he loves me and no he has never shown signs of infidelity. He just loves his social life too much. I know he works hard to sustain our lifestyle, and he has been a wonderful father to our kids but I don’t seem to get a piece of him when I need him. Whenever I confront him about his time share, he says I should mingle within his circles and that I should stop fussing.

Maurice replies,

I am convinced that your lack of social compatibility has been and still is your primary hurdle. My dear you need to open your mind to the reality that your husband will not transform into that man whom you want him to be. Based on what you have implied he has invited you to join him but you have be stubborn and declined his offers in the hope that he will relent and in doing so you have created a valley between you and your husband. I urge you to swallow that bitter pill and join him, appreciate that you have a loving husband and take that as a positive and join him in the environment he enjoys the most.  Cease the moment and start a fresh.