mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

My World has hit rock bottom. I have been married for 14 years. We have known each other for 15 years. We have 2 kids. I am 35 years old and my husband is 42.

Maurice asks,

Why do you feel like you have hit rock bottom?

She replies,

I actually thought that I was in a near perfect marriage. My husband has always been the sole provider and has been consistent in making sure he catered for his family without fail. From what I have heard from my lady friends men hardly keep to their marriage vows but my husband has or so I thought he had. He has been a progressive husband making sure his business prospers over the years and assuring that our kids receive the best education possible. Despite the ups and downs of marriage my husband had fulfilled my every expectation apart from one.

Maurice asks,

Which one did he not fulfill?

She replies,

About a year ago my husband altered his weekly routines and his time away from home increased. I noticed the gradual change and although he always had an excuse to every question I was very suspicious.

Maurice asks,

So what did you do about your suspicion?

She replies,

I did my own scouting and found a reliable agent to trail him for a month. I needed to know exactly what my husband was up to behind my back.

Maurice asks,

And what did you find?

She replies,

My investigator gave me a weekly report of all the places my husband had visited and a pattern started to form. After receiving the final findings I decided to visit a certain home that he had been trialed to several times over the month and what I discovered came as a massive shock to me. I could not believe what I was hearing.

Maurice asks,

What did you discover?

She replies,

That my husband had lived a double life for 16 years, and that he had another entire family living only an hour from our home. When I knocked on the door a woman answered and asked how she could help me and I proceeded to ask her questions and she invited me into her home. As soon as I entered it was evident that my husband was involved with her, their photos together were all over the house similar to my home. She told me that they had 3 kids and that he took care of them. She also admitted that she knew about me from the beginning. My husband had impregnated her 2 years before our marriage and he swore he would provide for her and their child. Their affair escalated over the years and now they have a newly born hence why my husband’s routine had changed. Now that I know the truth, how do I handle this deception? I am deeply in-love but how do I trust my husband, how do I confront him?

Maurice replies,

Many at this point would tell you to leave, though that would be an irrational reflex of emotion. I am not excusing what you have found out about your husband’s double life but in my opinion, you need to approach this rationally. The main question which will map out your future is, how much do you value your marriage?

This is how I see it, years ago your husband got a woman pregnant and he stood by that woman which is reflection of his character as a responsible man. His major error was to keep that other relationship from you.

It is your prerogative but if you confront your husband you will be opening a can of worms that may create a permanent rift in your marriage and disrupt that near perfect marriage you mentioned. Are you willing to take that risk? It’s not easy to pretend not to know but the repercussions are unknown. Life is not a straight line and it will always throw a variable to test your commitment. I strongly urge if you are still in-love that you move on from this revelation and continuing embracing what has kept you in-love with your husband for all these years.