mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I am 31 years old and I have one son, he is 11 years old. My husband is 36. I have been married for the last 10 years, in March next year it will be our 11^th year. Unlike other married couples my marriage has always been a complicated one in every way possible.

Maurice asks,

What do you mean by unlike our couples?

She replies,

Out of the 10 years of marriage I have lived with the father of my child for 2 years.

Maurice asks,

Why have you only lived together for 2 years?

She replies,

After we got married he gave me 2 happy years though we still had our ups and downs then on the third year he was transferred to a different town just over 200 kilometers away. Since then he has moved towns twice due to work commitments and he has always insisted on living apart in the pretext of me running our established business in Nyeri. He visits us twice a month and at times he stays over during weekends. But even when he is here, he is either watching TV or on his phone.

Maurice asks,

So what exactly is your concern?

She replies,

For the last 8 years I have lived in misery and have been extremely lonely. It has never been enough that he comes to visit over weekends. Even though my husband provides for us, our son has gone without a stable consistent father figure and that hurts me. For years he has asked why Daddy is never home and I have to make excuses to paint a positive picture of his father. Can you imagine that, I have resulted to deceiving my own son. Over the last 4 years we have had major quarrels. I once called his phone at 2am and a woman answered, my husband said it was his noisy house help. Another time he had told me that he was not reachable because he had traveled to a remote area for 3 days on duty. I called his office and his colleague volunteered information which confirmed there was no such business trip. I feel as if our living apart arrangement was an avenue for him to be free of us.

My question to you is, will he ever step up and tell me the truth about what I call our convenient marriage and do I just move on? He has brushed off my concerns for years by showering me with money and making sure that our business prospers so that I don’t have to bother him.

Maurice replies,

Based on the information you have given, it is my opinion that indeed your marriage may be a convenient one. It may have taken him 2 years to realize that he married you for the wrong reason and at that point he felt obligated to secure your financial future and at the same time find a way out of your life as a couple. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks so in regards to him stepping up, I don’t see that occurring, he is perfectly content with status quo. I advice that you concentrate on raising your son and securing his future and let your husband be. If your husband ever steps up then you will cross that bridge when the time comes but for now move on with your life and stop stressing over a man who has committed to being apart from his family.

She replies,

Thanks Maurice I needed you to confirm what I have known for awhile. I have another matter and I need your advise.

Maurice replies,

Please share.

She replies,

I have a male friend who I have been spending time with and he has been helping me out for the last one year. My feelings about him are their but clouded by my marriage. The point is I am sexually attracted to this man and I feel that it is time to give myself to him. Not out of love but because I want him.

Maurice replies,

I can only imagine your craving for sexual companionship but don’t you think that will complicate your marriage?

She replies,

As I said I needed you to confirm my future and based on your opinion I feel that I have sacrificed enough in this dead end marriage and I need to feel like a woman of which I haven’t felt in years.

When I am having lunch with this other man I see the way he looks at me, the way he makes me smile and the way he subtly flirts and affirms to me that I am still sexy. I can’t let that feeling go and at this moment I am ready to allow that man to awake the woman I once was years ago. You write about orgasms and I also read on your blog about women squirting and I envy each one of them. It is time I felt real affection from a man, don’t you think?

Maurice replies,

I guess you do. Every woman deserves to feel the sensations that are owed to her. It is now your prerogative to explore what feels right.