I am a 31 year old woman who has been married for 8 years. My husband and I have 3 kids and for most of our marriage we have been happy however there are rumours flying around amongst our social circles that my husband had a fling with a mutual friend. This fling allegedly took place over a camping trip that he went for 4 months ago. I unfortunately was not able to join him because I was also out of town visiting my folks. As you can imagine this news has stressed me for months.
Maurice asks,
What do you think about the rumour and how credible is the source?
She replies,
To be honest I don’t know what to think. I keep asking myself why this rumour emerged and the source of this rumour is a mystery to me because it is said that someone who was at the same resort saw him in the arms of our mutual friend. This someone has no name, I have tried to track the rumour trial but all has been in vain.
Maurice asks,
Have you mentioned this to your husband?
She replies,
Yes I did after it was eating me up for too long and I needed clarification. My husband’s response was in form of a question, he asked me how I could doubt his loyalty and that he was very disappointed after all these years of remaining faithful how I could dare accuse him of adultery. I must admit he was pretty convincing because I had never seen him that annoyed before.
Maurice asks,
So you believe your husband?
She replies,
I have never suspected my husband of cheating and I have always considered him a loyal man who loves me and our children but now I am in a mental stalemate. And to complicate matters further he has posted his sentiments on social media and he has also alerted both our folks, now the whole World knows. He hasn’t spoken to me in a civil manner for the last 3 weeks and my kids are questioning the current status quo in our home. Our friends have taken sides and my husband’s mind has been polluted with my alleged past wrong doings. We are arguing about non-issues of our past. This saga has given birth to a flurry of other problems and I don’t know how to bring some normalcy and resolve our dilemma, what should I do?
Maurice replies,
In my opinion, there’s nothing concrete about your husband’s alleged infidelity. It’s all hearsay and it has cost you a state of harmony in your marriage. I recommend that you defuse this issue by apologizing to your husband and making it clear to your parents that it was all a misunderstanding caused by rumour mongers within your circle of friends. It may seem unfair that you have to apologise for something you did not start but the bigger picture is that you will restore your connection with your husband. Marital bonds have been severed over trivial issues and I believe you do not want to risk your marriage based on hearsay.
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I concur Maurice, in as much as where there is smoke there is fire, where there is no concrete evidence, it is difficult to prove someone wrong. Prayer calms all troubles, if at all there was infidelity, it will be brought to light.
I think I agree with you Maurice but the husband’s response is very interesting. Why air it all out to the world and cause so much drama if he has nothing to hide?
i think your husband has blown everything out of proportion. question is Why? is he trying to cover up his infidelity? as the saying goes…. the truth hurts, and for sure it is hurting him. For now, just apologise as Maurice says, play your role as a loving wife and dont entertain rumours/ strories about your husband. “If he continues fooling around, trust one day you will bust him with his pants down, but before you do just sit back and enjoy the joys of marriage!
I guess the main cause of the drift could have been caused by how she approached the husband, I have come to realize the way a question is asked determines the reaction and especially in marriage.