mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I can not believe or comprehend what has befallen me in my marriage. I am 24 and have been married for 6 years. I do not know what is of most relevance to you so I will start from the beginning. When I was 16 years old living up country with my parents I was introduced to a man I could only describe as my uncle at the time. He frequently visited our home as he was very close to my father and little did I know that my father was master minding my future with this man. When I turned 17 my parents arranged for me to leave home and move to Nairobi with this man and so I did. The pretext looking back now, was that I was moving to Nairobi to further my studies at a college. I was a form one drop out so this move was very exciting for me. When we arrived, I enrolled at a college and did my best to gain an education, for me this was my second chance to gain an education. During the same period the man who was supposed to be my guardian lured me into his bed and I got pregnant. Soon after he asked my father to bless our plans to wed and he received it. Today I am a house wife and mother, and I am extremely unhappy. My husband is hardly home, always coming home late and I know he has other women.

Maurice asks,

Are you still studying?

She replies,

No, I am a full time house wife. My husband forbid me from continuing with my college studies. He told me I did not need to study or work and that he would take care of me and his son.

Maurice asks,

How old is your husband, and was he ever married before?

She replies,

My husband is 41, he is a civil servant. I know he has another family up Country. He told me about his other family just before we got married.

Maurice asks,

How can I help you?

She replies,

I do not love and I have never loved him, everything I have undergone was because I had no choice but now I feel I need to get away with my baby and start a fresh and attempt to make something of myself. My main issue is that I don’t know how I will survive without him.

Maurice replies,

Do you have anyone in Nairobi that can take you in as you decide on your way forward?

She replies,

Yes I have an older sister and cousin both married but how do I burden them with my issues?

Maurice replies,

In your situation there are no easy decisions to make and if you are close with your sister and cousin they will either advise you further on a way forward or formulate a way to accommodate you and your child for a period of time. But you do realize that your husband will most likely come looking for you.

She replies,

Once I am out I can deal with him when the time comes, for now it’s priority that I leave this prison.

Maurice replies,

Seek shelter and comfort from your family members with the aim to becoming independent through their assistance.