mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

My marriage may be coming to the end of the road and I am afraid of being alone and even worse the thought of having failed is killing me.

Maurice asks,

What is wrong my dear?

She replies,

I had never caught my husband red handed before but 2 weeks ago I did. It was undoubtedly the worst day of my life.

Maurice asks,

So you have suspected your husband of cheating for a while?

She replies,

Rumours have it that he cheated on me on our wedding night during our after party. That was 13 years ago. I was mad but no one had proof of that deed so I let it go. Another incident occurred 4 years ago when he told me he was out of town on business yet he was seen by one of my girlfriends at a City bar & restaurant dining with another woman. When I confronted him about it he said he was out of town and that my friend was mistaken. That made me wonder; if it was true then he was either spending nights with her at her place or in a Hotel. For my own sanity I convinced myself that I was not that stupid or naïve not to notice an affair going on in-front of me, again I mentally dismissed the possibilities. In my eyes there was never any evidence or hint of infidelity.

Maurice asks,

What eventually led you to discover infidelity was taking place?

She replies,

Two weeks ago my hubby’s phone rang repeatedly, my first suspicion was drawn to the name saved, and it read ‘sweetz’ so I decided to answer it out of curiosity. No surprise, there was a female voice at the other end of the phone and I asked if I could help her, she replied, where is the owner of the phone? I then quoted the name of the owner and introduced myself as the wife. She suddenly went quiet for a few seconds upon which she said “I’m sorry it must be a wrong number”, I quickly replied, “I have no qualms with you” please tell me who you are. She replied, “I had no idea he was married”. We decided not to continue our dialogue on phone but to meet face to face. We did and she told me they had been dating for almost 6 months. At that juncture we decided that we had to set a trap for him to walk into.

Maurice replies,

Go on.

She replies,

We agreed that she would lure him to her apartment and I would be waiting for him in her bedroom. Our plan worked and he was led to the bedroom, he opened the door and there I was as quiet as a church mouse. Before I could say anything he turned and ran off, we watched him get into his car and drove off. I thanked her and left for home where I thought he had gone but he did not turn up that night. Two weeks later he has not come home, neither does he answer my calls or messages at his place of work. I still love him and I think I will for a long while but I need to move on without him, I need closure, what should I do?

Maurice replies,

First and foremost, you did not fail, your husband failed you. If you seek closure, then you need to face it head on, you must meet with him eventually and he should confess and apologise, if you want his apology that is. You must maintain a calm and collected conversation; tell him it’s about you not him and that he should give you the courtesy to speak your mind without interruption. Once you are done don’t give him the satisfaction or opportunity to explain his actions because at that point that is not what you need to hear, in my opinion. Moving on is never easy but it is far worse to sustain a marriage where your partner has betrayed you for a long time.