Dear Maurice, 
I am in a crisis, my life is a complete mess and I need your help.
Maurice asks,
What is your dilemma?
She replies,
Well, my husband has put us in a very awkward situation. Last year in October my niece who was living with us in Mombasa suddenly decided to move colleges without warning. I let it be and did not question her decision to move.
Maurice asks,
Is your niece’s moving related to your husband?
She replies,
Yes, with regret and a lot of bitterness I share with you that last month my 20 year old niece announced she was pregnant not by her boyfriend but by my husband. My sister and her husband are now not talking to me yet we are so close. I know they are annoyed with me for not protecting their daughter but I was not aware she needed protecting from my own husband. I have tried to keep it together but this whole situation is driving me crazy but I do a good job of hiding it. We have a 6 month old baby girl so I must keep it together and try my best to maintain my sanity at least for my child.
Maurice asks,
So you decided to stay for you child’s sake or are you also still in-love with your husband despite his infidelity?
She replies,
I did think of leaving but I do still love him and at the same time I hate him for betraying me and to make it worse he performed his indiscretion with a family member. I’m I in-love with him? not at the moment.
Maurice asks,
What do you want at this point; I’m sure you have thought it through?
She replies,
I want my husband to stop ignoring the fact that my niece has accused him of forcing her into bed. I want him to stop acting as if things have not changed, and I want him to say sorry and take responsibility.
Maurice replies,
So you are still talking to each other?
She replies,
Yes we are but he refuses to discuss his fling or anything to do with our next move regarding our future. He says that he is not the father but he hasn’t denied or accepted sleeping with my niece. My husband is a very confident proud man who is set in his ways. Every time I bring up the matter he has a way of making me feel guilty. I don’t want to believe he could do this to me but the facts are so clear in my mind otherwise why would my niece leave and make up a sensitive story that is causes friction with extended family members.
Maurice asks,
Do you want to leave you husband or do you want to save your marriage, your answer must be certain for there to be a realistic outcome?
She replies,
It is hard and every bone in my body says I should leave but my heart and feelings will not allow me to, so I want to stay but how do I overcome all and start to view my husband in a positive light?
Maurice replies,
These situations are not easy to go through. I knew you wanted to stay otherwise we would not be in dialogue and you would have left by now. These are the things you need to do if you really want to overcome your predicament. First, don’t dwell on the obvious because verbally reminding your husband everyday of his infidelity will only hurt you with mental emotions in the long run. Plus it will be counter productive to directly or indirectly punish him if mending your marriage is what you seek. You need to be the pillar of this relationship. If you want him to say sorry you must make him feel guilty by doing all the things that he does not expect you to do, that entails being a good wife to him by telling him that you may not forgive him soon but you will support him during this period, and why are you doing this ‘because you are a better person’ you are committed to your vows unlike him. The point here is that subtle polite hints of the truth will be much more effective and in time you will find out if your man truly is sorry when it is not forced out of him. Remember do the opposite of what he expects and watch him attempt to say sorry in his own way. It will take time so please be patient. If you need further counsel you can call me or we can have a one on one session and discuss your future.
mauricetherapy 
Maurice, I think this would be good advice if the only problem was that her husband cheated on her. She also indicates that her niece said she was forced sleep with the husband (i.e. rape). Unless her niece is extremely troubled, she has no reason to say that someone raped her. This woman doesn’t need an apology, she needs to leave. A man like that is not anyone she needs around her daughter.
No one got raped, it was an affair that went sour.
The woman you speak of will never let go of her husband otherwise she would have left him instead of seeking my advise. I understand her psyche very well. Relationship solutions are not always that straight forward. With every case I have to be objective and rational, if I made client issues personal it would unethical. That said, thank you for your view.
I’m sorry if i misunderstood, but from what you posted it didn’t sound as if the relationship between the niece and the husband was not consensual. This is what I am referring to:
“I want my husband to stop ignoring the fact that my niece has accused him of forcing her into bed.”
If he didn’t force her physically, which is what is traditionally thought of as rape, it sounds like there was some coercion (emotional, financial) at play which is equally wrong. This speaks to flaw in the husbands character that she needs to take into account. A man drunk on power is not a healthy person for who to be around or for her daughter to grow up with. I understand that this is her decision to make, but I think it is perfectly ethical as her adviser to point out that she has a lens ( her love for her husband) that is clouding her judgement. Is this not why people go to therapists? For perspective.
Or maybe this is my western feminism talking?