mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

 I read your articles almost everyday and I wanted your opinion on some issue I have now had for years. I am 45 years old, married to a bastard of a man and the reason I call him that is because he has given me hell for more than 16 years now. My husband has been a serial dog for years, each time I catch him he has an excuse to why he is acting the way he is. Each time I have forgiven him but its not easy to forget his actions. I don’t know how but he has to change soon before he breaks my spirit.

Maurice asks,

That’s a long time to take negativity from a man, why do you stay?

She replies,

Because I love him, he is my everything, without him I would be lost. Despite his actions I can’t bring myself to leaving him. Over the years I have tried but he always has his way of winning me back.

Maurice asks,

Are you financially independent from him?

She replies,

Not exactly. I run a small business and he is the majority share holder.

Maurice asks,

Would you say that apart from loving him there’s a financial attraction?

She replies,

Maurice I really love my husband and yes I rely a lot on his financial ability but it’s not just the money. I went into marriage knowing it was going to last forever. I have tried everything to make him mine exclusively but nothing seems to work.

Maurice replies,

So what you are saying is that your husband does give you the attention you deserve but unfortunately you share it with other women?

She replies,

Yes he gives me attention, he pampers me a lot and showers me with gifts but when he is away I know for a fact that he is with other women. We have all the material wealth a woman can ask for but what is lacking in our home to unconditional love from my husband. I am a lonely frustrated woman. My husband is 49 years old but behaves like he is still in his 20’s. How do you change such a man and steer him in the right direction?

Maurice replies,

My dear, by now your husband at his age is very set in his ways and changing him may be easier said than done. I’m sure you have tried all you can to show him that you are in this marriage for the long haul but still he refuses to change his ways or ignores your efforts. I haven’t met him for a one to one analysis but from experience, you are probably married to the kind of man that may never change and only age will slow him down. The other issue here is that you have allowed his behaviour to continue for way too long. When he realised he can always win you back, that’s when your persistent problems started. Over the years you have taught him that he can get away with his actions. He also most definitely knows that he is your life line in regards to finance.

She replies,

Are you saying there’s no hope?

Maurice replies,

For now unless we have a one to one couple session it is just my logical speculation, if I could meet him and have a candid chat then and only then would I be able to give you a proper assessment of his  relationship attitude, his character.

She replies,

I too believe that we need counseling so that I can voice my concerns openly with a third party present.

Maurice replies,

That’s the only way forward, from the session we can establish a baseline and the truth will soon follow. Let me know if he will agree to the meeting.