mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

 I recently broke up with my girlfriend who I had been seeing for 5 years. I don’t want to get back with her after what she did but I want your honest opinion on why she may have done what she did.

Why do I start, ok on Valentines day we kept in-touch throughout the day and we both looked forward to that evening. I had booked a surprise restaurant treat at her favorite Italian restaurant. We enjoyed the night and our meal was splendid. We were done dining by 11pm and we decided to head off to some house party, more like gate crashed the bash. By 1am we were both enjoying ourselves mingling with people and having drinks as you do. At some point someone shouted “spin the bottle” and before you knew it we were a sizable group of about 20 playing the game. Long story short, the bottle eventually isolated my girlfriend and she opted to be dared which was not surprising considering she is a daring kind of person always wanting to explore. Anyway she was dared to kiss some guy and at that point she looked over to me for some reaction and I kind of hesitated and I believe I unknowingly gave her the green light in the name of the game. She kissed him or rather I just stood their as some random guy touched up my girl. They were given 30 seconds which seemed like a lifetime to me but I kept it together.

The game went on for at least 2 hours then people went back to mingling. I at this point was pretty beat and I dosed off for about 30 minutes. When I woke up my girlfriend was nowhere to be seen so I went looking for her. The first place I checked was the kitchen where a few had socially congregated. She was not there. Reluctantly I began to check the vacant rooms hoping she would be slumbered with a few people just chilling out. To my horror I open one of the bedrooms and found her making out with the guy she had kissed during the game. I then stood there and asked her what she thought she was doing, her response shocked me, I expected her to freak out and try and explain her actions but instead she walked up to the door and as she closed it she said “you were going to find out sooner or later”. I tried to open the door but she had locked it. I’m not the confrontational kind of guy so I walked out and left the party. She send me a text saying she was sorry I had to find out in those circumstances and she will be coming for her things when she’s ready. Since that night I haven’t called her and she hasn’t tried to contact me.

My question is simple, after 5 years of being the best guy I could be why could she not just tell me that things were not working for her and let me go instead of embarrassing me in-front of mutual friends. I don’t get it, how can someone you have loved for so long and been through stuff with just disregard you like you never existed? Did she ever love me like for real?

Maurice asks,

Had you ever witnessed similar behavior from her in the past?

He replies,

No. It was a drastic change of character, every time I try and make sense of it I still end up with a void to all the questions I have.

Maurice asks,

How old are you both, did you live together, was marriage and all the other trimmings that come with it on the cards?

He replies,

She is 25 and I am 37. No we did not live together but she did spend a lot of time at mine. About marriage well we did not talk about it that often I thought we were too engrossed to one another just enjoying life one day at a time. As far as I know she was not ready for marriage till she was a bit older, that’s what she told me last year when we were just having a laugh chatting about life and the future.

Maurice asks,

Before you do you know how many guys she had dated?

He replies,

She told me I was her third boyfriend.

Maurice replies,

Obviously my opinion is based on your info so this is what I think. You met a young girl who was only 20 and you were 32. You started to date but as the years went by you overlooked a few variables that may go against you in the future. Assuming you were indeed her third boyfriend I’m assuming you were not the first guy to sleep with her unless I’m wrong?

He replies,

You are right.

Maurice replies,

Then there’s a possibility that at one point she felt she was missing out on exploring with other men, I know its not the easiest of things to hear but you asked for my honest opinion. She probably hadn’t matured with you over the 5 years and at one point you came to some cross roads and that is when her feelings and commitment to your relationship changed. I hate to speculate because I haven’t spoken to her to assess her views but I’m guessing she wanted to be cut loose after she realised that the relationship was heading in a direction she was not ready to follow. Why she suddenly chose to do it when she did and how she did only she can accurately tell you why. I feel for you mate but life must go on.

Whatever you do don’t change the man you are, you have to believe that somewhere out there is that perfect woman for you. Don’t look for her she will come if you believe it.