mauricetherapy

Dear Maurice,

I don’t know how you can help but I am in a dark lonely place and I need to get out of this place but I don’t know how. I have been married for 19 years, got wed when we were both 18 years old. I make a very good living with my business, it was a blessing in my youthful years, we live in a upper class estate and I give my family everything they need even though my wife too works I provide everything as I want to do so.

My problem is that for the last 7 years if I approximate I am sure that my wife fakes her orgasms and at first I didn’t really care as long as I got my share of pleasure but it started to affect me and instead of confronting the issue with her I opted to date other women who would constantly praise me through my ability to pamper them with gifts, residential bills, holidays out of the country and even cars. I must admit that these women who are five in number have over the years really boosted my ego even when at home things were not so good I always had these women to make me feel like a man. Sooner or later I realised that I was in the same predicament with a few of the women, not satisfying them in bed although my urge for sex was higher with them than with my wife. She is not aware of my ‘playing away’ antics and if she is she is doing a good job of pretending because we still are intimate but once only in awhile when we are both under the influence of alcohol. I feel like my playing away ways have now become an addiction and seeking praise from random women who I seem to attract is the order of my life. I love my wife and honestly if she has also been cheating on me I deserve it but can I revive our marriage, our communication, our love?

Maurice’s reply:

First things first let’s get it out of the way that there is no excuse for cheating, however that said, there is a male driving force that has to be satisfied at all costs, that primal instinct to mate. This is the male thirst for the opposite sex and it involves ‘ego boosting’ through soothing words from a woman and especially in your case with the thoughts of you not being man enough in the bedroom must be hard. Please understand that I am not at all supporting your cheating option but confirming that for men the ‘ego’ is one area that constantly needs to be soothed with words from a woman to affirm your manhood. Does it improve your bedroom skills? The answer is ‘no it does not’ but as long as a man’s ego is elevated by whatever influence he will do his best to return to the source that provides this manhood feeling, it’s a form of positive appraisal and is key to a man’s mental stability in a relationship.

Old habits die hard and there is no particular formula that will give this situation a quick fix. I recommend that you do not tell your wife about the affairs in case you were planning to do so. I do not see that as a remedy. They say ‘the truth will set you free’ however this situation will mostly likely set your marriage ablaze and that we need to avoid otherwise you will not salvage your relationship. There may come a time when if you accomplish to regain your communication and candid talk between you, you can tell her about your indiscretions but for now we are not yet there and it might not be an option only time as I mentor both of you will tell.

I want us to meet so that we can have a one on one and address the a few issues and I will also be able to evaluate your honesty based on my questions on the day we meet. In short why embark on a journey to rekindle your love with you wife if during the process your side kicks will still be part of your life, I’m not judging you I’m only stating a possibility. I have dealt with couples and not all have 100% solid intentions to renew their love. Considering you have had multiple affairs I can not take your word on this particular key element so I need for you to get yourself tested for any STDs. If you are willing to do so then I am able to monitor over a period of time and assist in improving your current marriage status. Are you willing to get tested?

He replied: Yes I am willing to do anything to regain my bond with my wife like we once had.

Maurice’s reply:

Then I believe we are on the right path. Once we know your STD status it will determine the direction to take but first one step at a time. I look forward to meeting you, please do call me so we can arrange a suitable date to meet.